The Draw Play

Preseason is such a tease.

It looks like football. It feels like football. It sounds like football. It smells like football. It tastes like football. But it’s not quite football. It’s the football you have at home. You see guys you like in the uniforms you like playing the game you like, but for weird reasons.

It almost feels like you aren’t watching a team sport but instead watching a lot of individuals play a team sport. Even when the starters are in for the first few drives, you aren’t watching it to see football. You are watching to see how individuals do. You start watching guys on the line. You start watching WRs run routes. You notice mistakes and errors and you feel a dread to them knowing this might be that player’s career-ending move. The score doesn’t matter in the slightest. If your team gets blown up by 30 points who cares! What matters is how individuals did during the game. Of course if your team wins the game that’s cool and fun, but the back of your mind flashes the dreaded stat: The 2008 Detroit Lions won all their preseason games. These are teases. They aren’t real passion. Preseason is the waitress who smiles and is very nice so she can get a good tip. If you think she’s being nice because she likes you romantically, you are in for a heartbreak. Just enjoy her smile and good service and don’t read anything into it.

It’s even more of a tease when your team has a lot of new factors to anticipate. Last year I didn’t watch a single preseason snap because outside Nabers, what was there to even be excited about? More Daniel Jones? Brian Burns I guess? Daboll wouldn’t even play most starters. This year’s been different. The Giants have a new QB room that includes a first-round draft pick, as well as a big fancy defensive line top pick. Daboll is playing the starters longer. I feel refreshed knowing that this is a “get good or get the fuck out losers” season for the staff. Maybe it’s just residual Coughlin disease but both Super bowls came off seasons when the vibes were about shitting or getting off the pot. It loosened Coughlin up. Maybe it’ll loosen Daboll up. It doesn’t hurt that the Giants have actually looked pretty decent in their two games so far, with Dart being the biggest surprise. He looks like an NFL QB!

But…it’s preseason. It’s a tease. Until Dart throws those Darts in a big boy game, it’s like seeing a sexy lady in the shower but the glass is all fogged up so you can’t actually see anything. Big Blue? Big Blue Balls. It’s football edging. Enough of these previews, I want the real thing in my eyeballs right now. Stop making me wait.