CHAMPIONSHIP PICS – Get Dressed, You Are Now Playing QB For The 49ers
Well that weekend…existed.
Let’s start with the bad. Eagles/49ers was a terrible football game, but it at least had the courtesy to give us some stupid nonsense like a ball hitting the wire and the chains breaking again. The 49ers season ended on the third offensive play they had, with Brock Purdy getting his elbow jammed, forcing the 49ers to start Josh Johnson…until Josh Johnson got concussed and the 49ers sent Brock Purdy back in to hand the ball off a few times until it was over.
So the Eagles are in the super bowl after about the least convincing 31-7 win you might ever see. The 49ers defense held up for a little while and frankly, Hurts played pretty off, missing throws and looking unhealthy. But it doesn’t matter when the opposing side is forced to start Josh Johnson and doesn’t have a prayer. CMC did one cool run and that was it. The Eagles could just run the ball and the 49ers slowly got ground into dust. I think it’s impossible to deny the Eagles are a great team, but you can still, even now, make the argument they have yet to be truly tested. They had one of the easiest schedules all year and two losses came with Minshew at QB. The 49ers were going to be the second good defense they faced all year (Dallas was the other) and then the offense got hit with bad voodoo and it was over. So now we have what feels like an excellent team that should win it all next week that still has the potential of just ending up outmatched somehow. I hate it.
At the very least, Chiefs/Bengals was competitive. Not great, but competitive, and unfortunately ended with a wet thud. Chris Jones ripped the Bengals patchwork offensive line, and the Chiefs stumbled around looking questionable. Eventually, the Chiefs got the ball with 40 seconds and then a scramble + sad penalty put them in easy field goal range. Game over. The game continuously threatened to be interesting but never crossed the threshold.
CHAOS OF THE WEEK goes to the officials. Pretty much every single game now is badly officiated. #NFLRIGGED trends at least once per game. The refs and the rulebook have become so incompetent that it has convinced almost every fan the league is rigged to some degree. The Eagles had their second scoring drive kept alive by 3 ticky-tack defense calls on SF. The Chiefs got gifted an extra unfair down because they messed up. The final penalty on Ossai was indeed a penalty and unnecessary, but I’ve always been a bit leery of those out-of-bounds push calls. It’s another case of not being able to stop physics. Ossai wasn’t going to be able to stop himself at that angle, at that speed. I think if Mahomes didn’t fall over it might not have been called. By the letter of the law, it’s a penalty, so it was called fairly. That will not stop Bengals fans from whining about it.
I go on about chaos but there is good chaos and bad chaos. Good chaos, to me, is stuff that makes the game more interesting. Wild fumbles, silly picks, bonkers plays, weird playcalling. Choking away leads. Miracle kicks. Doinks. Storylines that heighten the narratives within the game and outside the game. Bad chaos is what you’d expect: things that make the game less interesting, confusing, or bullshit. Ref chaos is bad chaos, most of the time. A stalled drive kept alive by ticky-tack calls that nobody would have been bothered by if they were left uncalled. Refs wasting our time for 10 minutes to reset the clock after they fucked up. All of this hurts the viewing experience and in the worst cases leads to a certain type of fan screaming RIGGED all the damn time. Incompetent players are good chaos. Incompetent officials are bad chaos. We don’t expect refs to ever be perfect, but some more competence would be fucking nice.
GIANTS CORNER: Well, the Eagles are in the super bowl and so is Kadarius Toney, so that kinda sucks
MOST UNWATCHABLE GAME OF THE WEEK: It feels silly to do these things for playoff weeks with 2 games but I think we can all agree 49ers/Eagles was an unwatchable waste of time after Purdy got hurt.
DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK: The Empire State Building for being a traitorous piece of shit
I like drawing Hurts as Sam the Eagle and I think I’m gonna continue to do so. Definitely gonna do a muppet week theme next season sometime.
Well, here we are. An Andy Reid super bowl. His current team versus his old team. I kinda wish it was still Doug Pederson coaching so we could make student and master jokes. We’ve got two weeks to ruminate on it, and those two weeks will be vital for Patrick Mahomes to heal up. Right now, who do I think wins? Eagles. I did not get “This team is clearly better than the Eagles” vibes watching the Chiefs stumble around against the Bengals. The Eagles have a much, much better line than the Bengals, so Chris Jones is going to have a harder time eating them alive. The Chiefs do have a more competent QB capable of crazy shit, which is a point in the Chiefs favor. The Chiefs can win this game, but I just get the vibes this is the Eagles year. When they came out against the Giants last week, fresh off a lot of late-season questions, and then just obliterated them, it felt like this is the team that’s going all the way. The Chiefs struggled against both the Jaguars and the Bengals, while even the lamer Eagles, facing a broken 49ers offense, still did what good teams do and ground them into dust over time in a blowout.
I do not have any immediate ideas for the final drawings and I’m in no rush. I think they should both involve Andy Reid. I will be happy to take suggestions in the comments.
Idea for if the Chiefs win: the wolverine looking longingly at a picture meme but it’s Sam the eagle looking at a picture of Andy Reid
Dave, I second this. This is excellent.
The AFCC was a textbook example of why you should limit trash talk before a big game. Cincinnati was a better team and absolutely should have won but it was obvious that Kansas City came out extra motivated to shut them up after hearing literally everyone in that city including their mayor talk big shit all week long.
Now, once again, Kansas City gets tasked with handling a team boasting a ferocious D-Line that can generate intense and immediate pressure on the QB if they want to hoist the Lombardi. Mahomes doesn’t show weakness very often, but his prior two appearances have not gone well against similarly constructed defenses. Philadelphia might be lacking the high-end name talent that San Francisco and Tampa Bay had, but they get after it all the same. I’m with you that it feels like Philadelphia’s year, honestly.
This. “When you win, say nothing. When you lose, say less.” – Paul Brown
Bengals were so cocky that it feels like they were just destined to fail that game. Can’t say it’s undeserved though.
As much as I was rooting for Cincinnati, it was too easy to see that coming. Kansas City might be an unlikable trash heap of a roster outside of Mahomes, but they’re a damn good team and they don’t start chirping until AFTER they win. All Cincy did was add extra motivation for them to show up big when it mattered.
I’m not necessarily saying you’re wrong, but I wish people would keep this same energy with the Eagles. Hurts has been acting like they’ve already won the super bowl, and…not a word out of anyone.
Are we not going to get a Pro Bowl weekend drawing? You’ve got a prime excuse to draw Manning’s massive melon again and have it be relevant.
If the Chiefs win, how ’bout Andy Reid drawing a mustache on Sirriani’s face?
Red Walrus Andy Reid eating Green Walrus Andy Reid if the Chiefs win seems almost too good to be true, but I wanna see it anyway.
Maybe a Sith/Jedi thing could be added, given that color scheme. That said, would be way better if Doug was still the coach, as Dave said
Maybe Jalen Hurts as Link from Legend of Zelda for an Eagles win and Mahomes as Mario for a Chiefs win?
Hurts as Sam the Eagle as Link from the Legend of Zelda.
I’m happier with Toney being in the SB than Eli Apple. Mainly because Toney probably won’t play, or will get injured immediately, again. The penalty on Ossai I felt bad about at first, then I didn’t. He literally pushed Mahomes a good step or 2 out of bounds. He didn’t collide, he pushed him. That flag gets thrown every time.
The problem was that the Bengals grounding call was absolutely fine, but then Mahomes did the same thing next drive and wasn’t flagged. That personal foul at the end was absolutely fine, but that wasn’t called a few minutes earlier when the chiefs player committed one.
I have to agree. I hate when the refs get overly involved but it was so much worse yesterday because they were ticky tack calling the Bengals but gave the Chiefs the benefit of the doubt all the time.
Hurts as Sam works so well. I can just hear him saying “You are all weirdos!”
Especially since Hurts seems to be one of the few straight-laced, normal people on that team. Even Sirianni, the head coach, is a nutball.
If the Chiefs win, draw walrus Andy as Galactus, consuming the earth, with Mahones as his silver surfer herald.
If the Eagles win, draw Hurts, AJ Brown, Reddick and Sirianni as the Fantastic Four exploding Walrus Andy Galactus and his herald into the deep annals of space.
I am so on board with this suggestion, I want to see Walrus Galactus!
I did Brady as Galactus two seasons ago, I don’t want to repeat that if I don’t have to
I was gonna say, you already did that lol
Super Kelce Bowl! Travis vs Jason! This is the week we find out which one Mom really DOES love the best.
If the Eagles win, Walrus Reid getting curbstomped by Sam the Eagle Hurts saying “the future is now, old man” as Eagle Hurts holds Kermit Mahomes captive
If the Chiefs win, Walrus Reid on a golden throne surrounded by ALL of the Whopper Whopper Whopper Whoppers as the Eagles are forced to listen to him play the jingle until next season
since you want to keep drawing Jalen Hurts as Sam the Eagle and you mentioned a Muppets theme, may I suggest deviating from Walrud Andy Reid and instead draw him as the Swedish Chef? It’s perfect with his whole food thing plus the mustache. So if the Chiefs win, do Swedish Chef Andy Reid and Kermit Patrick Mahomes cooking a dead bird
Miss Piggy with an epic moustache as Andy Reid also has potential
No one can say that the Eagles are a bad team. It’s just not true! They are objectively a very good team. However, I think it can also be said that they had one of the easiest paths to the big game if such a thing can be said. You had to beat an injured Mr. Irrelevant, a 4th stringer nobody had ever heard of, and vaunted running QB Christian McCaffrey. Previous, they had to beat a fraudulent and depleted Giants team that nearly lost to the equally-fraudulent Vikings (SKOL!). On top of that, they had literally the 4th-easiest schedule to put them in this position to begin with. You can only play the teams they put in front of you, but I hope if they do win it all we keep things in perspective. This was not some fairytale run of underdogs, this was strawman after strawman and, to their credit, the Eagles played the part of the big bad wolf.
Agreed. Before Purdy went out, the Eagles were looking legit playing one of the better teams in the league, and afterwards their offense gradually tore down the Niners until they imploded.
“Wow I’m so sad the Bengals lost and were forced to eat humble pie” said nobody in the AFC North (or Buffalo)
Gotta work some Travis vs Jason Kelce in there.
I would be curious to hear peoples thoughts on teams that had an easier route to the SB than the Eagles.
As a drawing idea, if the Chiefs win Walrus Andy eating a giant cheese steak with the Philadelphia skyline sticking out of the bun.
“If the chiefs win, I will draw Andy Reid holding up the Vince Lombareid trophy”
Chiefs win: Kermit Mahomes is proclaimed the new king of the QBs, a la baby Simba in Lion King. The old king, Tom Brady is being attacked by Divorce Lawyer hyenas and scouts for the Raiders and Jets.
Eagles win: The mascot Scoop throws Walrus Reid out of an All You Can Eat Buffet at the NFL HoF.
…or Swoop for those who know how to type.
To combine a couple ideas other people have said, how about a theme of Kelce sibling rivalry featuring Andy Reid as a father figure? He did coach both of them after all, since he was in Philly for Jason’s first two years. If the Chiefs win, Andy Reid helps Travis draw a mustache on Jason. If the Eagles win, Andy hugs Jason as the confetti falls and whispers “You were always my favorite” into his ear as Travis looks on tearfully and calls out “But I’m still the sexiest Kelce, right?” Bonus panel for that one: Reid says “Sure you are, Travis” but then goes home and looks wistfully at a picture of Jason in his mummer’s costume from the last Super Bowl parade. Or something like that.
so if both teams were low chaos then what does the middling indicator mean
The 49ers really got hit bad that game. Starting with the non-catch on fourth down that put Philly up 7-0 to Purdy getting injured to Josh Johnson playing an NFCCG to a second half of SF just running it. Add in the tit for tat penalties and you have a big “what if?”
It’s a shame because the two were clearly the best in the NFC and I legit wanted to see who was the better team.
If the Eagles win: Sam the Eagle climbing the greased tusk of a passed out Andy Reid (laying on his back, belly up so the tusks are pointing to the sky)
Alternate Eagles win: Sam the Eagle throwing batteries at Andy Reid.
For an Eagles win Sam The Eagle Patriotic blasting The walrus
between the Hurts image and the latest Bengals comic i’m starting to feel like Dave might be starting to *slightly* lean into furry bait. Just getting that energy, not too much, but its there
this message sucks ass im sincerely sorry
If KC wins, how about you draw Checkdown Chad Henne waving TWO SB rings at Marino.
I was severely disappointed with the NFC Championship game and the Eagles fans who can’t admit that they got lucky, another issue I had was that “running into the kicker penalty”, that should be another one that they should look into. The player was clearly pushed by the defender into the kicker.