Be Careful What You Wish For
When the Cowboys lost this past weekend I couldn’t get that stupid Meta Quest commercial out of my head. Yes, the Whopper one, but also this one, which would easily be my most annoying ad of 2022 if the whopper ads didn’t exist. That video game menu ambient track would come on and I’d hear that stupid kid going “I wanna be the QB of the Dallas Cowboys. Not Later. Now”. I heard it at least 8 times per game and I hated it every time. But that was where my head turned during the Cowboys loss.
I wonder if Dak Prescott ever actually was that kid, dreaming about this. Dreaming about the joy of incredible performances for Dallas. I doubt his dreams ever featured the very real adult problems of not living up to expectations. Of having media analysts rip you apart. Of a certain subset of fans who would simply never love you and relish the opportunity to bemoan your existence. Blame you for every failure, deserved or not. And you could argue Dak deserves a lot of the blame for the 49ers loss.
Dak’s first pick was atrocious, a wild throw to a 49er on the sideline with the actual target 10 yards behind him. I’m still not sure if Gallup gave up on the route or Dak was off target by that much. It gave the ball to the 49ers in field goal range. That’s 3 points. His second pick was an ill-advised throw directly to a linebacker jumping Lamb’s route, although the defender bobbled it only for a different defender to catch it. The ball never should have been thrown. This was in the red zone, taking at least 3 points away from the Cowboys. That’s 6 points swung on Dak turnovers. Add to that the blocked extra point, and Cowboys mistakes were the very 7 points they needed to tie the game at the end.
I’ve always had a fairly high opinion of Prescott as a QB but after 7 years it’s clear he is not elite. He’s a tier 2 guy, a guy who can win it and look great, but who can also just shit the bed at the worst times and drag the team down. It’s almost eerie how close his career resembles the same vibes as Tony Romo. Tony never quite managed to break into that top tier of respect and had a lot of dumb game-ending picks. He never really got the support of all the fans. I still remember being shocked by the Tony love after Dak took his job, Tony never got that respect when he actually played. Now Dak is dealing with the same thing. Plenty of Cowboys fans do appreciate Dak. Plenty of others do not.
It’s certainly not like Dak deserves all the blame. The offensive playcalling let him down, Mike McCarthy’s time management also let him down. The end of that game was another McCarthy masterpiece of bad decisions. The Cowboys had 4th and ten with under 3 minutes left, down a touchdown. The Cowboys punted, like absolute cowards. They got lucky when a 49er went out of bounds on a first down and spared them a timeout, and they got the ball back even further away from the endzone with just over 90 seconds left, Dalton Schultz promptly didn’t catch an easy chunk yardage ball and also didn’t get out of bounds on a different pass, costing the Cowboys what little time they actually had.
Then, at that point, the Cowboys had nothing left, so they ran the dumbest play in the world. A lot has been made of the last play. What was the play even designed to accomplish? Did they not account for the fact that Zeke had no chance of blocking a single linebacker? I kind of forgive the last play though, because what are you supposed to do from your own 25-yard line with no time left? It’s a miracle long-shot play no matter what, at least they tried something unusual. It just, you know, didn’t work. The Cowboys truly lost that game when they punted with under 3 minutes left. That last drive was just a pathetic tiny final turd, barely squeezed out after 10 minutes of grunts, dropping pathetically into the bowl. Another year, another Cowboys-less NFCCG.
Dak cannot will the Cowboys to a super bowl like the elite QBs seemingly can. He needs help. Letting Cooper go was a mistake. Zeke is toasted. Lamb gets the dropsies. McCarthy is a dumbass. I will never wish the Cowboys success, but I do hope one day, Dak can be free of the pressures of being a flawed QB in the most annoying sports market in existence.
I never thought I’d feel pity for the guy, but when your team’s own twitter account is piling on you, that’s just not right.
https://twitter.com/dallascowboys/status/1617383701226176512
Stay classy, Cowboys.
I could not believe they posted that, I could not believe even more that they left it up, that SOMEONE didn’t get to them and be like “hey that’s not wise”
Me neither. The only answer I can think of is Jerry Jones. Trying to turn the court of public opinion against him so he can make a move and take no blame, maybe?
If I’m Dak, I’m pulling a Carson Palmer and not setting foot in JerryWorld unless I’m wearing another team’s jersey. I broke my leg for these assholes and this is how they treat me?
Flag football content when?
Same. That’s not how to support someone on your payroll.
Dakota can cry into his pile of money on his sleep number bed. I don’t really feel too bad for the guy. He is showing that he isn’t worth that large contract and guys like Purdy make less mistakes while Hurts and Burrow have leapfrogged him
LOL i play both game pokemon and pro era
That last play was something that might work in high school football. The idea is sound. If you have to run a miracle lateral play you don’t want 5 slow guys with bad hands on the field. After the first catch everyone is an eligible receiver. However, something like this needs to be installed. Zeke should have been taught to chip his guy then immediately get upfield. Not try to actually pass block. Dak should have thrown the ball without a second’s hesitation. Who cares if it’s covered and you throw a pick six? It doesn’t affect the game at this point.
Coaches typically don’t waste time actually installing these kinds of plays in practice because even if they’re executed well they have a very slim chance of succeeding.
That was something they didn’t practice…hopefully.
Usually they save those kind of plays for the end of the last practice of the week. So the team can have some fun and you don’t waste valuable time.
ROMO RETURNS
His hat was the percect plqce to hide a sexy rexy 🙁
I t has been 5 years since tony romo was in a comic
Stop that pleas. That just feels weird
I can’t see Dak in Mississippi State gear without thinking of the legendary “Dak for Heisman, he already knows the pose” graphic from back in 2014.
This isn’t Dak’s fault; this is all Cowboys. You put Troy Aikman or Roger Staubach in his place, you get exactly the same result. Get out of Dallas, Dak. Salvage what you can from what’s left of your career.
Also, their final play strategy logically made sense (one less slow fat guy on the lateral play who not used to catching laterals), but it only works if the ball goes out (because your 37th string Center is going to get destroyed quickly) and if your WR cares enough to lateral the ball. Even a Defense Fumble Return TD would’ve been a better result as at least your team went down fighting.
It’s not all on Dak, but when you’re getting paid $40mil per year the expectations are going to be sky-high for you.
So I’m the only one who didn’t know his name is actually Rayne? How did I not know this? While googling to confirm, I came across this: https://nypost.com/article/who-is-jadyn-jannasch-dak-prescott-girlfriend/
So….good for him.
This comic features one of the funniest alt texts I’ve seen so far. May Dallas failure continue until the heat death of the universe. Amen.
I honestly had to look up what commercial you were talking about.
This year, I mostly watched RedZone and so my commercial experiences were for primetime games. And it was mostly just that STUPID FUCKING WHOPPER COMMERCIAL HOLY SHIT KILL IT WITH FIRE.
I feel like Dak is a victim of the media’s fascination with Dallas….and Dallas fans themselves (as you noted). He was so clearly good out of the gate for a rookie that everybody just absolutely fawned over him and I think overinflated his abilities. It’s because of that he sits above Kirk Cousins in general consensus, but is actually probably on the same level. You always feel like he has the ability to do more, but the way Dallas fans talk him up, there’s no way for him to deliver.
Unfortunately, I think he’s stuck in that zone as long as he’s in Dallas. The Cowboys are going to continue being built like billionaire’s fever dream that doesn’t ever really have the kind of focused plan it needs. I think Dak should look to get out ASAP and join a team that is realistic about his strengths and weaknesses.
Dave, could you make flag football content sometimes?
Like the Robert Edwards injury? Because that’s the only notable flag football thing I can think of
Romo to Eli is the same as Dak to Danny Dimes. All four are Tier II QBs with flashes of brilliance. But both generations treat the Cowboys QB as a level above the Giants version because of the team they play for. I am a huge Cowboys fan, I grew up in the Dallas area so I came by it honestly. But it has been over 20 years since the Cowboys had a Tier I QB and they should stop trying to Ordain QBs before they win a ring. Your generational QB is not an ordained thing. The Dallas Cowboy QB is not a fucking chosen one. They are just a QB for a team with a mostly toxic fanbase.
I can’t quite pick which fandom I am a part of that I hate more. Rick and Morty or the Dallas Cowboys. But they have the same fucking energy.
To be honest, I feel the BOIZ will always be that waste of a playoff spot that has all the potential in the world but never makes that leap to be great. They had the talent to sell jerseys and line Jerry’s pockets, but no dicipline or sense of basic time management. Like seriously, how many losses to the 49ers in the playoffs will it take? Dak isn’t Superman but he can get us there and raking him over the coals isn’t solving the inconsistent offensive play or questionable coaching decisions.
But what do I know, I wasn’t even alive when they won their last Super Bowl and Jerry Jones doesn’t deserve nice things anyway. Time to ride another bandwagon into sunset. May these rings forever be dusty while Jones is king of the castle.