Lucky Whitehead has had a really bad summer. It’s been full of incredibly bad chance circumstances. You could really call him…Unfortunate Whitehead.

Poor dude has his dog stolen for ransom earlier this summer, and that’s somehow the less terrible thing that happened to the poor guy. Some dude gets arrested for shoplifting and gives the cops Lucky Whitehead’s information, pretending to be him. He then dodges his court date. The real Lucky Whitehead is then being sought after by the cops. In the ensuing confusion, the Cowboys use it as an excuse to cut the fringe WR, in what felt like a PR move to “look good”.

Then the truth comes out, and it’s hilarious. The Cowboys finally found a cheap and easy way to pretend they gave a shit and then cut Whitehead before he had a chance to prove he was innocent. Then when the news came out, they pulled the “It was actually a long time coming for lots of transgressions” bullshit. Transgressions like sleeping in once. THE HORROR. Whitehead may not have been the best dude but even if the Boys were just looking for an excuse to cut him, it’s still shitty to cut a guy before the facts come out and I find the PR scrambling since to be amusing.

I feel so bad for the dude. he’s out of a job because some butthead stole his identity and a team made an example out of him and will never admit they jumped the gun. At least he managed to find a team, the Jets picked him off waivers shortly after the news broke that he was innocent, which I can’t help but feel was a bit of a middle finger to Jerry. He might actually make the Jets roster, too, because the Jets WR corp could best be described as a large group of quadriplegic blind pigs trying to compete in ultimate┬ábeastmaster. He might even get 3rd string on that roster. I hope he turns into a hall of famer personally, because this will be hilarious to look back on one day if he does.

Also I’m not superstitious but he wore the number 13. A guy named Lucky wearing 13? You’re just asking for a cosmic slapping.