CARTOON PICS WEEK 9 – The Manningcast Curse Is Real
A BAD WEEK FOR ELIMINATOR PLAYERS. I wonder what the record is for how many eliminator picks are ruined by one game. We’ll likely never be able to track that, but I would bet the Bills/Jags game has a chance of being up there in the top 20, maybe top 10. Possibly higher. There is no excuse for what the Bills did yesterday. None. Well…maybe. The Manningcast curse. Every active player who has gone on the ESPN Manningcast has lost the following week. It’s hit Travis Kelce, Russell Wilson, Gronk, Stafford, and Tom Brady. Josh Allen stopped by last week. The Bills then came out and got obliterated, shamefully, by the other Josh Allen. Yes I know 9-6 isn’t getting “obliterated” but when you are supposed to be a super bowl contender coming off a bye playing one of the worst teams in the entire league…you aren’t supposed to lose 9-6. Pathetic.
The Bills were given a wide-open AFCEast and they might actually blow it. The Jets, Dolphins and Patriots all started the season looking rough but now the Patriots are gaining quiet momentum and the Bills have now blown it against the Titans (a playoff seeding competitor even with Henry out) and the goddamn Jags. They have to play the Jets next, which, you know, should be a blowout, but after today who knows. Then they play the Colts and Saints before taking on the rising Pats. That game will be a big deal.
What else happened? Well, turns out maybe I was right to question Cincy all along. The Bengals have blown it two weeks in a row, this one in spectacular fashion against a hobbled Browns scquad. Maybe the Browns Minus Beckham trend is real after all. Baker just…plays better without OBJ out there. And now OBJ is straight gone. He should be on a new team as you read this, but I’ll get to that eventually. In the meantime, the Browns are back, baby.
Jordan Love did not impress. I stuck with the Packers even with Fraudgers out because the Chiefs are playing like ass this year and the Packers are stacked, but no dice. Jordan Love was nothing special. Maybe we have hope that the Packers won’t get a 3rd HoFer in a row.
The Falcons are performance art. You won’t convince me otherwise. Their ability to choke away leads late in the 4th is unmatched to the point where I genuinely start wondering if football is scripted. They pulled it off this time, but you just wait till they choke away a lead again next week like clockwork. I deliberately don’t watch the Falcons games every week because I know only the final 5 minutes are relevant.
The Raiders suffered a trap game against the Giants. I didn’t get any boost of confidence watching that win, same as I felt bad after the Panthers win too. Just another gross close game with plenty of dumb errors that worked out in our favor this time. The defense managed to close out a game though, so good for them. Still want everyone fired. The Giants have managed to climb into a tie with Philly for 3rd place, above the TEAM, who I am delighted to see in last. Dallas should still easily sweep the division, even if they too got trap gamed by the Broncos.
Mike Zimmer is toast. Two weeks in a row giving up games like this. I think Zim is a good coach but you can just kinda feel it when an era has run its course. Miami finally won a game, even with Tua out. The Lions didn’t lose! They didn’t play.
We don’t give enough credit to the Titans for how weird this team wins. They haven’t played a normal game all year. They’ve had two QBs in back-to-back weeks throw baffling picks from their own endzone. They scored 14 points in roughly 20 seconds of gametime against Stafford. This is a good team that can really win even when stuff goes wrong. I respect and admire the Titans.
The Texans forced 5 turnovers and lost. Literally the worst team I’ve ever watched play football.
I think this ended up being one of my strongest weeks for pics though! Take a look at these great babies.
I don’t usually brag because of crippling imposter syndrome but I feel like my batch of doodles this week might be my best ever single week set, none I’m unhappy with. The Falcons Dune picture is arguably one of my favorite pics I’ve ever made.
WEEK 10 PICKS!
RAVENS @ DOLPHINS
Unless some wacky nonsense happens I don’t know anyone who would pick the Dolphins here. The Ravens are so injured and yet all they seem to need is Tucker and Lamar and who gives a shit
If the Dolphins win, I will draw a Dolphin impaling Lamar Jackson with its face
SAINTS @ TITANS
Since I am incapable of picking the Saints correctly, I will now be picking the Saints games according to who I want to win. I want the Titans to win, so go Saints.
If the Titans win, I will draw Saint Derrick Henry, lost too soon
BILLS @ JETS
If the Bills lose to the Jags and Jets in back-to-back weeks we may as well just write them off as a loss and move on with our lives.
If the Jets win, I will draw a card table smashing through a buffalo
LIONS @ STEELERS
Obviously, the Steelers should win this and I am very worried about the Lions at this rate, but don’t discount the Steelers ability to play down to opponents.
If the Lions win, I will draw Dan Campbell doing squats with a steel girder on a dead Big Ben
JAGUARS @ COLTS
Colts aren’t too bad! They seem to base their wins off “can they overcome the inevitable 2 Carson Wentz brainfarts”. The Jags should not win this.
If the Jags win, I will draw Urban Meyer grinding Lucas Oil Stadium
BUCS @ TEAM
Fuck em up, Tom
If the TEAM win, I will draw Dan Snyder laughing maniacally in hell
BROWNS @ PATRIOTS
This might be one of the few genuinely tough calls this week. Most games seem to have an obvious favorite, but this one might be close. Gonna go Pats due to home-field advantage.
If the Browns win, I will draw Nick Chubb as Covid Godzilla destroying Foxboro
FALCONS @ COWBOYS
Cowboys will look like shit until 10 minutes left in the 4th when they score 5 TDs to make a comeback against the stupid Falcons
If the Falcons win, I will draw Matty Ice, the wizard of ice magic
PANTHERS @ CARDINALS
You can take the Darnold out of The Jets, but you can’t the Jets out of the Darnold
If the Panthers win, I will draw Cam Newton, Return of the Mack
VIKINGS @ CHARGERS
The Chargers aren’t the chokers they have been, they win and lose pretty straightforwardly this year. The Vikings are tremendous chokers.
If the Vikings win, I will draw Thor, God of Thunder, taking his lightning bolts back from the Chargers
SEAHAWKS @ PACKERS
Packers get Throw Rogan back unless more hilarity ensues so he’s going to spite his way to about 10 touchdowns on the feeble Seahawks defense
If the Seahawks win, I will draw Russ using his new repaired robo finger to flip off Aaron Rodgers
EAGLES @ BRONCOS
I can’t quite get a read on the Eagles. They seem to put up stronger fights than they should each week and they make me nervous a lot. The Broncos just shocked the Cowboys, maybe they can carry that momentum.
If the Eagles win, I will draw a very large eagle feeding Teddy Bridgewater to baby eagles
CHIEFS @ RAIDERS
The Raiders are a good team. They were bound to get a hiccup but the Chiefs have proven to not be a fluke but actually bad.
If the Chiefs win, I will draw Derek Car being drowned in ketchup
RAMS @ 49ERS
Well the Rams were extremely weird on SNF against the Titans, but the 49ers laid a complete egg against the Arizona backups. The 49ers are not that good.
If the 49ers win, I will draw Jimmy G winning a handsome contest over ugly Matt Stafford
This IS one of your strongest batches for sure. The living detail on the ram’s ballsack is gratifying. The Shai Hulud Stadium should be recurring.
absolutely, some of his best work yet
I noticed, as I was watching the games this weekend, that every State Farm commercial only had Mahomes in it… no Rodgers commercials were shown. Was that just me? Did anyone else see Rodgers in a State Farm commercial Sunday? He’s already lost an endorsement with a medical company… maybe he’s about to lose State Farm, too? I have to say, I’m relieved. I’m sick and tired of those stupid commercials.
It does seem like the ratio of Mahomes:Rodgers State Farm ads had been about 3:1 even before all this, but chasing away his ads altogether might be one positive development of all this mess. Actually saw someone heckling a poster of Rodgers along the wall of the mens section in a Kohls on Saturday which was amusing (That store’s Wisconsin based if I recall, so I’m not sure he’ll be dropped by them).
I just read an article that stated only 6 Aaron Rodgers State Farm commercials were aired during the games yesterday, out of a total of 394 State Farm ads, so I guess they did cut it back.
I love all of the doodles, but I have to agree that you outdid yourself with the Falcons Dune one, it is fantastic! I especially love the little touch of the headset as the nose plug from the stillsuits. Also, the stadium looking like a sandworm is terrifyingly accurate and something I cannot unsee now…
While I still want Gettleman, Judge and Garrett all fired in early January, I wouldn’t mind seeing Graham stay as DC. Giants defense has fully woken up over the last couple of weeks. It’s not nearly enough to make much of a difference this year, but it at least is assuring that they’ve gotten over the massive regression they had over the first six weeks. While the wins over the Saints and Panthers felt like lucky breaks exposing an inconsistent and an actually shitty team respectively, this felt a bit more convincing.
That Atlanta Sandworm is incredible! Bravo.
I second that. Dave has reason to feel proud of it.
Love the sandworm! I’ll be scarred for life by the Urban Meyer sketches.
Have we ever gotten a sketch of a teary Arthur Smith drawing up a gameplan that’s just the Heimlich Maneuver?
Love didn’t play great, but LaFleur’s playcalling and the offensive line doing their best turnstile impressions didn’t help him. Packers defense was shockingly good, being out their NT, OLB1 and CBs 1 and 3. Packers terrible, awful, no good, very bad STs caused a 9 point swing, with a blocked FG, a missed FG and a muffed punt in the RZ that turned into 3 points for the Chiefs.
Love is going to get a ton of crap for that loss when Green Bay’s atrocious special teams is what really cost them that game. Love looked exactly how you’d expect a guy making his first career start in an environment like Arrowhead to look, but he wasn’t helped at all by his special teams leaving points on the board early. The worst thing they could do was make him feel pressured to get huge plays, and they did exactly that.
Remember, whatever Nick Chubb does, he does stoically.
I like you’ve succumbed to the Urban Meyer grinding love that Twitter gives it.
Your Dune drawing is my sole consolation in losing to the Falcons.
“Maybe we have hope that the Packers won’t get a 3rd HoFer in a row.”
I mean, agree, but I was really really hoping Love would light it up just to spite QAaron Rodgers.
That Urban/Kahn sketch is one of the most disturbing images from this comic.
As a Giants fan it was good to see a win, but our Oline continues to look horrible. I also want Gettleman and Garrett fired. The OBJ thing doesn’t surprise me. I remember seeing an article discussing that Eli’s stats were better in the games without OBJ and that too often he tried forcing throws that shouldn’t have been made, throws he wouldn’t attempt to other receivers.
This video analysis of Eli from 2019 by Strong Opinion Sports is HILARIOUSLY accurate to today, and reinforces everything you just said about Eli (and also applies to Baker) becoming significantly worse qbs *SPECIFICALLY* when OBJ is on the field. I like this because he uses examples w/ video, but I think history has proven the miscommunication was 100% on OBJ, not Eli.
https://youtu.be/mDpOjIa8xdc?t=189
Sadly, Discount Double Choke is one of those… bastard people! He made me so mad over the weekend that I had to go home and bite my pillow!! Otherwise, I would have been dancing all over the internet. I took a lot of grief from a lot of friends when I said OBJ was a cancer and Giants fans should be happy we dumped him. Last week was pure unadulterated vindication on that front. =)
wait
the falcons won?
they beat the saints?
that’s some winter solstice shit right there
I thought a trap game was when a team overlooks a bad team because they have a more important game the following week on the schedule. That would make the Raiders loss to the Giants a trap game, because next up for the Raiders is a division rival matchup vs. the Chiefs. It would make the Cowboys loss to the Broncos not a trap game, because their next matchup is against the Falcons. Am I alone in this?
Anyway, Dave, here’s your pool update post week 9:
You got a 7, which puts you in the bottom half for the week. There was one 10 (which came from last place!), one 9, and a handful of 8’s. However, the first and second place players both put up 5’s, so the gap between you and first place got smaller!
Overall you have 84, which puts you in a tie from 9th – 13th. There’s currently a 3 way tie for first at 92.
And I’ll add on a +1 on that Dune homage being one of your best yet. Well done!
It’s a pretty loosely used term, but I agree with you. There is a difference between a straight upset and a trap game.
I don’t know that I would consider the Giants game a trap game for the Raiders, since they had all that shit they were dealing with that week. It’s not that they were looking past the Giants… it’s that they lost their primary deep play threat and Carr was clearly still reeling from it, because he looked off all day.
If every Jags game from now is going to be a variant of Urban Meyer grinding on something, I’m cheering for a long Jax winning streak. Especially looking forward to Week 18.
MerceDunes-Benz sandworm is awesome.
I didn’t have the Ravens-Fins game on, had CritRole C3E4 on instead, so of course we won.
You’re welcome, South Beach.