Things have improved a bit this week!

It wasn’t a majorly chaotic week by any stretch, but after last week we had a little fun shaking things up. The Raiders have gone 2-0 since losing to the Jeff Saturday Colts, proving that sometimes the only way up is to be so down there’s nowhere else to go. The Rams are running on empty, everyone is hurt, and the worst super bowl winning hangover continues. The entire NFC South is under .500, including the Bucs. The Jets benched the spoiled baby and we are again living in Mike White’s world. The Seahawks, once surprising favorites, are now on the precipice of disaster as the 49ers have settled in. The Vikings continue to make no sense. The Ravens cannot stop losing games late in the 4th.

I’m giving the Ravens/Jaguars game CHAOS OF THE WEEK. The Ravens had a tenuous hold on the AFC North over the Bengals after both teams spent the early quarter of the season stumbling on their own dicks before finding a rhythm. This week the Ravens had an easy matchup and the Bengals a tough one. It ended with the Ravens and Bengals now tied for first, with the Browns not even entirely out of the picture since Watson is coming back next week and should, theoretically, make them more competitive. The Jaguars caused all of this. The Jaguars are consistently one of the most watchable bad offenses in the league because it’s all or nothing. This week, it was all. Trevor kept them close and when the Ravens pulled ahead by a touchdown with 2 minutes left, it was time to shine. Trevor has been terrible in this position his career so far. Today? He did it. A deep bomb to set up a pinpoint dime to the endzone and a sudden game-winning 2-point conversion. The Jags even gave the Ravens one last Justin Tucker chance, AND HE MISSED. What a game.

GIANTS CORNER: I don’t want to talk about it

CHAOS WATCH: As stated above, the Seahawks are making things kind of interesting in the NFCW. The Cardinals and Rams are basically out of it now. The 49ers midseason trade for CMC has quietly put them in a great spot again and they now lead. The Hawks are currently not in the playoffs, with the ENTIRE NFCE taking up the remaining wildcard spots. The Hawks have two remaining games against the Rams and one against the Packers, then a 49ers game and a Chiefs game, and finally a Jets game. If the Hawks want a chance to get in, they probably need to win 3 of those. We could have some goofy stuff coming. Also, keep your eye on the NFC South. None of them are very good. One of them has to win. Believe it or not, the Saints and Panthers are only one win behind the Bucs and Falcons.

MOST UNWATCHABLE TEAM OF THE WEEK: The Saints. This award goes to the dullest, most pointless team. Bad teams can be fun or interesting, I find the Broncos failures very interesting. The Saints? Every time they show up on my screen my eyes glaze over. They also spent 3 hours getting slowly destroyed on Sunday.

DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK: The Panthers are a terrible team, starting Sam Darnold, stripped of parts…and the Broncos still couldn’t beat even that. The Broncos and Russell Wilson will probably earn this title for the year.

I had a great thanksgiving and then a horrible Sunday, so I more or less broke even.


The Jaguars: always giving me good ideas that make everyone uncomfortable.

WEEK 13 PICKS – No theme this week, lets do some classic dumb bets

Last year this game got windblown to hell and resulted in one of the funniest results of the year. I doubt that happens again, but the Bills need to stomp the Patriots into oblivion if they want to stop looking like a first-round playoff exit. They already can’t afford to lose ground against the Dolphins.
If the Patriots win, I will draw Mac and Me

If Fields was healthy, this might go very badly for the Packers. Unfortunately, I think the Bears are boned without Fields because they have nothing else of value.
If the Bears win, I will draw Aaron Rodgers as Grizzly Man

The Falcons feel like they could win this, so why not.
If the Steelers win, I will draw Kenny Pickett and George Pickens picking out pictures of them picking peaches

Mike White already used up his great game of the year, I expect him to look normal against an actual good team.
If the Jets win, I will draw Mike White, gathering energy, ready to take over the world

CATFIGHT! The Lions have won 3 in a row, maybe they can make it 4. EDIT I forgot they lost on Thanksgiving, maybe they can make it one
If the Jaguars win, I will draw Fabio Trevor on a romance novel cover

Hard to pick against the Eagles but it would be nice if they dropped a few of these.
If the Titans win, I will draw Derrick Henry eating the cast of Always Sunny

God I can’t believe this game is going to happen. Ugh. Texans, do us a favor and ruin the comeback.
If the Texans win, I will draw Lovie Smith destroying Watson with a spirit bomb sent from all of us

The Giants are struggling and the injuries have piled up. The Commies have found an identity. I’m going to start getting sad again.
If the Giants win, I will draw Brian Daboll as Shrek, guarding his meadowlands swamp

The Ravens just have to score 18 points then they can fumble the ball all they want in the 4th quarter and it won’t matter.
If the Broncos win, I will draw Russ doing High Knees on Lamar Jackson

Big test for both teams. Whoever comes out of this one is a genuine threat to win it all, I think. I’ll go Dolphins, even though they are away McDaniel has an advantage by knowing Shanahan’s offense.
If the 49ers win, I will draw synthwave Jimmy

Seahawks gotta wake the hell up. Luckily, the Rams suck now.
If the Rams win, I will draw Sean McVay sleeping with his Lombardi trophy, happy for one night

Chargers are the best slightly above-average squad that cant win important games in the league. Luckily this isn’t an important game!
If the Raiders win, I will draw Josh McDaniels rising from the grave. He’s back

Bengals got the better of the Chiefs in the last two meetups but both times it felt like a surprise. Chiefs are firing on all cylinders again. hard to pick against it.
If the Bengals win, I will draw Joey the Tiger posing in front of 3 crucified kermits representing their last 3 games.

Cowboys are good and I hate it. Remember when they looked to be lost? That was fun. I want that disaster back.
If the Colts win, I will draw Jim Irsay as a Cowboy on Centaur Matt Ryan

Saints are unwatchable. Bucs at least are watchable bad because every play you wonder how angry Brady is that he lost his wife and his fortune in the span of like a month. Lol FTX
If the Saints win, I will draw Tom Brady as a hobo

Both QBs driving off the cliff like Thelma and Louise