EDIT: Vet emergency on Tuesday, midweek comic will be delayed

Now that I’ve gotten the Raiders right a few times, I have a new nemesis. The Vikings.

Vikings reach the divisional round last year. Surely they will still be good, even without Diggs. Nope. They start the season like a bunch of rabid skunks spraying everything in sight. Fine. People told me to stop putting my faith in Minnesota. I have a weakness for the Vikings and root for them, but people were right. This was a team deserving of scorn. So I started picking against them. Then they go and start winning! The nerve! They beat the Packers! Kirk Cousins got his first ever MNF win against the Bears! Maybe the Vikings had found something and could confidently name themselves the Mediocre Minnesotans. Surely they can beat the Cowboys, a decrepit team with 2 wins, starting recently covid-infected Andy Dalton, coached by fat Mike, a bad coach Mike Zimmer already has experience against. Nope! Fuck you, Minnesota!

The NFC East chaos scramble continues. Each team has 3 wins. The Eagles remain on top by half a game, but somehow still look like the worst team of the entire bunch. After the death of Joe Burrow (RIP, you deserved better) the Eagles may in fact be the only team that doesn’t beat the Bengals. The Team already beat them, the Giants and Cowboys face them next, and they are probably bottom 3 without Burrow in there. The Cowboys look like they are the best set-up to win the division as they’ve proven they can beat mediocre northern trash and have the easiest remaining schedule. They play TEAM on Thursday. I will laugh if TEAM ends up in 1st place during turkey day.

The Dolphins lost Tua for the end of the game and they probably lose their best chance to put genuine pressure on the Bills. The Bills had a bye and managed to come out ahead. The Phish floundered, the Patriots lost to Houston, and the Jets remain the Jets. The Steelers are the only team remaining on their schedule they probably won’t beat. Great week for a team that didn’t play.

The Ravens though…not sure what’s going on. They should have blown up the stymied Patriots last week but I chalked it up to bad weather and the Patriots beginning their resurgence. But the Pats looked bad again (thank goodness) and the Ravens blew a big lead to the Titans. I looked at the Ravens schedule, and the only good team they’ve beaten is the Colts. They also beat the Browns, but it was week 1, and the Browns were on a new coach and hadn’t found themselves yet. The Browns are also not that good. They are 7-3 but they look beatable and the AFC is actually pretty tightly contested as we reach the crunch weeks. Maybe the Ravens are simply mediocre and people have figured out Lamar.

I did terribly this week!

EDIT: I usually end up drawing a few to completion just in case during close matchups, and it feels like a waste to just delete those doodles, so starting here I’m going to start posting the drawings I made even though I was right. Mostly because I’m very proud of Crab Lamar and Muppet Balls




Holy goddamn, Lions. I suppose at this point they are just letting Patricia play out the season because after that shutout loss to the PJ Walker led Carolina Panthers I don’t know how they can keep him around thinking it’ll improve. This was the Lions last possible gasp to try and pull a playoff run and they came out looking like sorry dumb losers against a team missing the two most important players on offense. Absolutely pathetic. Texans win.
If the Lions win, I will draw Matty Patty eating a big turkey

The Cowboys and TEAM have backup QBs who are not special but are now fighting for relevance. I feel like the TEAM is gonna win this.
If the Cowboys win, I will draw the Red Rifle cackling from the top of shit mountain

I know the Steelers are going to lose at some point but I’m going to stop trying to predict it and let it happen naturally.
If the Ravens win, I will bring back Lamar Jackson as happy crab, which I drew this week but couldn’t use because they blew it

Man the Chargers would be absolutely incredible if the game ended after 3 quarters. For some reason they always forget there is a 4th quarter and let the other team make a big run to threaten that lead. Either they have terrible conditioning or they are like Germany in world wars and blow their load too early. This should be a nice win for the Bills.
If the Chargers win, I will draw Justin Herbert getting an A on his geography test

Didn’t these two just play each other like a week ago? This game will decide the division. I finally respect the Colts even though I’d prefer the Titans. Colts gonna take the division and the Titans are gonna be a wildcard.
If the Titans win, I will draw Derrick Henry as Saturn Devouring His Son, only he’s eating Philip Rivers’ entire litter of children

UUUGH. The Vikings keep getting put in these situations where I don’t want to pick them, but I also can very easily see them winning, and now I have to gamble again. Fuck the Vikings. Go Panthers. Please stop making me draw Kirk Cousins.
If the Vikings win, I will draw the state of Minnesota flipping me the bird

Jaguars are staying on track for Fields, or possibly hoping the Jets can stumble into a win and they can then grab Lawrence. Browns have a chance to do something meaningful here, don’t blow it Cleveland.
If the Jags win, I will draw the Jags tank running over the Brownie and Khan yelling at them because they weren’t supposed to do that

If Burrow was playing, he’d find a way to win this game and make me hate Daniel Jones all over again just when I was starting to have some patience with him. Without Burrow, there really isn’t much reason to give this team any credit. Believe it or not, I am picking…the Giants.
If the Bengals win, I will draw Daniel Jones back in the doghouse. May change if he has a good game but still loses.

oh please oh please oh please oh please don’t let the Patriots stay in the hunt. Stomp them out, Cardinals. Please.
If the Patriots win, I will draw Cam Newton crawling out of a grave, not dead yet

The Jets have officially been eliminated from the playoffs. Watch them win games now. Not this one though.
If the Jets win, I will draw Adam Gase as Satan

Falcons are trash garbage.
If the Falcons win, I will draw a happy dumpster

The Broncos pulled off the upset against Miami and now get the Taysom Hill experience (provided Brees and his 2 remaining ribs stay out) but they aren’t good enough to move the ball on the Saints D. I will say I found the Taysom Hill start incredibly boring. This was Sean Payton’s pet project and they didn’t do anything fun with him.
If the Broncos win, I will draw Drew Lock planting a flag on Taysom Hill

Okay, I think the Rams are legit enough. Maybe not a true contender, but this team could make some noise in the right circumstances. Should be easy for them to stay on track against the hobbled Santa Clara boys.
If the 49ers win, I will draw Nor-cal shitting on So-cal

Ooooh! A good one! I think the Bucs are gonna win this game and the Brady circlejerk will kick into highest gear again and it’ll be insufferable bullshit until the Bucs drop a dumb game later.
If the Chiefs win, I will draw Walrus Reid eating Tom Brady

I am not picking the Bears again. The Bears are a fraud team.
If the Bears win, I will draw Winnie the Poo eating brie

The Eagles are a fucking travesty. I don’t know what has happened to Carson Wentz, but I feel like he might be the new RG3. He looked incredible in 2017, tore his knee to shreds, and then has regressed and looked worse every year since. He just looks incredibly broken.
If the Eagles win, I will draw Russ being fed to baby eagles