We all hate the Patriots. The smarter ones of us have a grudging respect for them at the same time, which kind of makes the hate even worse, because it’s infuriating how the Patriots have somehow achieved a level of consistency in a sport built on chaos. There is one thing about the Patriots however, specifically Bill Belichick, that I will forever unequivocally love with all my heart. It’s his absolute hatred of the media.

I went into this on the latest Draw Play Podcast but I’d like to comment a bit further on it. I used to find Belichick press conferences incredibly dull and I wouldn’t watch them. But what I initially read as disinterest gave way to me realizing that Bill Belichick hates the media quite possibly more than any person alive. Even Marshawn Lynch. Now I go out of my way to watch Billy press conferences for the little moments that sneak through. Those moments when you catch a glimpse of how annoyed he truly is to be there. Cracks in the facade, much like the one that just happened regarding a dumb reporter asking him a question about Janeane Garafolo. Bill has no patience for these people but he’s smart enough to know he can’t give them anything so he gets as dry and curt as humanly possible. You can feel his hatred, and better yet you can feel the absolute frustration on behalf of the reporters trying to get anything out of him. It’s a vicious cycle in some ways. Bill’s contempt and dry style is a defensive tactic meant to give the reporters as little ammo for distraction as he can, but that makes it all the more likely that reporters will make a story out of nothing. Hence why Belichick muttering “Jesus Christ” became a news story and why “We’re on to ____” became a meme. Those tiny cracks in the facade gave reporters a tiny morsel in which to milk for clicks. It probably made Belichick furious.

I think he learned it from Bill Parcells. Parcells hated the media too, but he was more of a Gregg Popovich type in that he’d willingly antagonize and insult the reporters where as Bill goes into autopilot shut down because he refuses to even grace the reporters with human interaction. The coaches who willingly badger the media are more fun for sure. Popovich calling reporters suits ugly is more entertaining than watching Bill grumble. But you really have to admire Billy B’s hate. It’s transcendent. It’s also a shame, because Billy B actually likes to talk if you ask him the right questions.

From what I can tell watching good interviews with him is that while he looks and sounds like the world’s grumpiest man he’s actually a complete football dork who enjoys talking strategy. Almost Aspbergers level of football love. A common trait in many great coaches. Belichick is fascinating to listen to when he gets to talk about things he likes. I bet if I got him into a room with the right question, I’d come out of that room 3 hours later knowing twice as much about football as I ever have.

I can’t imagine how irritated Belichick must be knowing how many dumb Janeane Garafolo questions he’s going to face in the coming 2 months. In Belichick’s world, the media would be thrown into the fires of mount doom and he could just focus his life on football for eternity.