How do you top the Thursday game? You don’t. This wasn’t a bad week, we did have a little fun despite most of the favorites easily winning, but when you start the week off with such a bang you simply cannot top it, Minnesota Vikings or not. We may as well start with them. The Vikings have now tied their own record of playing in 13 1 score games in one season, and they have 3 weeks to go. They started the week with Nick Mullens taking the place of the Passtronaut, whose early hype has gone the way of the Challenger. Mullens wasn’t anything special outside 2 really cool TDs to Jordan Addison after making bad decisions with the ball, and having a pick-6 wiped out by an offsides. Better to be lucky than good. The Bengals were the real story here. Going 3 quarters with 3 points, Jake Browning got revenge on his former team and yelled at the camera about it. He’s no Brock Purdy, but he’s been a good replacement for the Bengals without Burrow.

The Steelers implosion is reaching critical and we are very close to seeing the first losing record out of Mike Tomlin. The team remains unwatchable when they have the ball. At least Minshew Mania remains an enjoyable watch. The Packers hype that was derailed by the Giants last week is now back in the gutter after Baker Mayfield put up a perfect rating in Lambeau. The Falcons and Panthers combined for the most unwatchable dreck of the week, and the Panthers won! Arthur Smith absolutely must be sent to pasture. The Texans played The Oilers and almost tied the ghosts of teams past. Luckily the Oilers (Titans) put together one of the worst offensive performances you’ll ever see and Case Keenum kept the Texans in the playoff picture. The AFCS is a 3-way fight for the top and a chaotic Titans doing whatever they want every week and I am here for it.

The Lions steeled themselves and looked like the team they want to be. The Dolphins destroyed the Jets and eliminated them from the playoffs and also, mercifully, eliminated Aaron Rodgers coming back speculation. I don’t know what is going to happen. The Chiefs once again struggled on offense but since they played the Pats, no biggie. Not even yet another Toney fuckup could take away the win. 49ers remain the best team in the league, the Bills got their mojo back, the Jaguars are imploding, and the Commanders exist.

The week did end with some fun as Drew Lock cemented his legacy by leading a game-winning drive against Matt Patricia and the Eagles to put the Eagles into fraud status.

The Cutlets ride was bound to end sooner rather than later and the Giants returned to unwatchable garbage in New Orleans. If DeVito manages to beat the Eagles I might buy his jersey. Also, we are possibly going to be on our 3rd kicker of the year as Randy Bullock, our replacement for Gano, is also hurt. The Punter kicked a field goal in the game.

I made an entire comic about it already. Thursday Night’s massacre by the Raiders was a thing of beauty. Turnovers galore, the Raiders running trick plays up by 42 points. The performance by the Chargers was such a disgrace that the notoriously cheap Spanos cleaned house the very next morning. Staley, Telesco, soon to be the rest, the pain is over. I can’t believe we got two of these games in a single season.

He had it. Darren Mooney had the game in his hands. The hail mary bounced directly to him. He bobbled it and kicked it into the arms of a Browns player. The Browns and Bears game was one of the highlights of the weekend and might even won Chaos of the Week if the Raiders game didn’t exist. The Bears are fucking around right now and at this rate Eberflus might stick around. I don’t know how I feel about it. Feels kinda late to suddenly get your shit together.

Also want to give a shoutout to the Jaguars making a big deep play with 10 seconds left before halftime, deciding to run a play instead of spiking the ball, and then Trevor throws it well short of the goalline for some reason and they run out of time. Unbelievably poor game management.

As stated above, the AFCS has gone from disaster to a ball of manic energy. The Colts are feisty. The Texans are defying the odds. The Jaguars are a flawed mess. The Titans are lunatics. I love it, and it’s nice to have this division be fun again.

I wrote the Bengals off when Burrow went down but I forgot that having Tee Higgins and JaMarr Chase on your offense can still win you games.

It has been brought to my attention that the Cowboys have not beaten anyone of note except the Eagles in their second meeting, and the Eagles this year aren’t the same Eagles of last year. It brings me such delight to consider them as very likely frauds.

Jaguars. Come on, Jags. The Ravens are good but you guys are just shitting yourselves.

Well, the Falcons, and also the Giants.


BETS FOR NEXT WEEK. CHRISTMAS WEEK! Due to the holiday, the pics might be late, and there will be no comics next week so I can enjoy my time off.

Two teams that slide off my brain this season on a game I can’t ignore for a different one. Cursed. Stafford is quietly balling out this year and fate seems to be shoving him and Goff into a first-round playoff matchup just for the love of pure irony. I want this to happen.
If the Saints win, I will draw Derek Car but as a Sleigh

Fuck a Steeler. Mess em up, Jake Browning. I crave the first losing season in Tomlin’s career, I want to see how frothing mad the yinzers get calling for his firing.
If the Steelers win, I will draw Mike Tomlin as the ghost of Christmas future

If the Bills fall victim to the new coach bump it will be the funniest thing but obviously I can’t actually pick that due to the discrepancy between talents here.
If the Chargers win, I will draw Kahlil Mack using an Easton hockey stick to slap shot Josh Allen into a net

Two teams fighting for nothing but pride. I’m going to say the Jets fuck themselves over and win by sacking Sam Howell 20 times.
If the Commies win, I will draw Sam Howell as Frosty the SnowCommie

Lions, better keep it up if you want us to keep taking you seriously.
If the Vikings win, I will draw Nick Mullens putting coal in Jared Goff’s stocking

Stroud should be back for this game so I’m going to take the home team. This one could go either way though.
If the Browns win, I will draw The Brownie Elf as Elf

Can’t wait for the Jordan Love hype to come roaring back after they kick the dead horse for a freebie.
If the Panthers win, I will draw Bryce Young as Tiny Tim

Seahawks are mid, Titans are below mid. But I got my eye on you, Titans. I like what you’ve been cooking.
If the Titans win, I will draw Derrick Henry as the Abominable Snowman from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Eat shit, Arthur Smith.
If the Falcons win, I will draw a falcon in a pear tree

The Shaguars or the Fucks? Florida is going to be hot as hell this Sunday. I’m going to go with the Jaguars because they should be the better team but Baker Mayfield thrives on disrespect so who knows.
If the Bucs win, I will draw Baker Mayfield decorating a palm tree with dead Jags for ornaments

Two powerhouses that don’t have a good resume against winning teams. What happens when two frauds who are only good at beating up losers face each other? We finally find out the true fraud. I’ll take the home Dolphins, mostly because I want them to win.
If the Cowboys win, I will draw Dak Prescott as a Christmas cowboy with candy canes for guns

Sometimes I have nothing to say about a game, so…Bears.
If the Cardinals win, I will draw Kyler Murray as the Elf on the Shelf

In the mid-2010’s this was the matchup of the year between two titans of the game. Now it’s cooked Russ beating up old men.
If the Patriots win, I will draw Belichick as the Grinch

Chiefs…but what if the good Raiders show up?
If the Raiders win, I will draw Aidan O’Connell and Taylor Swift in a Hallmark Movie

Yeah I don’t see us winning this
If the Giants win, I will draw Tommy DeVito as Godfather Christmas

Maybe a Super Bowl preview? With the Cowboys faltering, this game might actually decide the MVP between Purdy and Jackson.
If the Ravens win, I will draw Rudolph with a purple nose

If we get a tie both QBs getting electrocuted by the lights when they plug the tree in