The Reason Julian Edelman Went Down
Part of me secretly wants Bernard Pollard to be behind every single Patriots injury in history. Maybe he was the reason Drew Bledsoe got hurt, and he has dedicated his life to undoing the terror he unleashed on the league in doing so. His latest victim? Julian Edelman. Formerly known as Wes Welker. Soon to be known as Danny Amendola. After that? Chris Hogan.
Seriously where do the Patriots keep finding these shifty little white dudes. I legit wonder if they have a factory. Sure Brady is good and stuff but what is it about Josh McDaniels system or Brady’s preference that always leads to shifty little white guy slot receivers turning into studs. I can’t remember the last time the Patriots biggest weapon was actually a guy on the outside. I guess that was Randy Moss, who was plenty good before showing up in New England. Why do none of the outside WRs turn into studs? Why is it always the undersized shifty white dudes?
Is Brady a racist?
Patriots stormfront factory jokes aside the very fact that they keep finding these guys is pretty much exactly why my first thought upon seeing the Edelman news was “Well that sucks for Edelman but the Pats will be fine”. Edelman has earned a lot of love in NE, but he seems like he plays the most replaceable position on the offense. Does anyone think Edelman makes the offense tick? Brady makes those dudes. Brady makes all these dudes. All the dudes have to do is run the route and be tough and nimble and Brady will make the correctly timed throw to get shit done. Gronk is the only weapon on the Pats offense that feels like he’d still excel on a team with a bad QB. Gronk could inflate Brock’s TD numbers. Edelman couldn’t.
(Edit: I forgot about B-Cooks here, but B-Cooks really didn’t set the world on fire in NO and he still had a good QB there, so I stand by my hot take)
The Edelman model has run it’s course, now the Amendola model will flourish and miraculously stay healthy until he’s not anymore, and Chris Hogan will take over or maybe the Pats will somehow obtain Trent Taylor from the 49ers, he looks like a fit. At some point I assume Brady’s own kid will play the part of the Welker, going into battle and getting concussions and tearing open his knees for the Patriots blood sacrifice.
(Edit: As pointed out below, Chris Hogan is actually a bit bigger than the typical shifty white guy model, but Brandin Cooks is exactly the right size for the shifty slot guy role [5-10ish, 180-190ish]. If Hogan goes inside and Cooks stays outside…well we have confirmation the Pats are “Slot racists”)
Godspeed, Bernard Pollard.
What about Cooper Kupp from Rams
Also, Arena Bowl XXX recap:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jgSlI2pu6qM
Here’s the whole playlist if you want to watch from the beginning: https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxatORgsVMJUe6wqCctLl5mvH-waPdNab
Would you stop shilling your shitty show on here? I’d at least wait until you’re 15 and your balls have dropped before making football videos and then shilling them out of desperation for people to pay attention to you
His job is to inform Dave about Arena Football you uncultured swine
Chris Hogan is a big fast outside guy not a shifty little inside guy.
Buh hee whyt
Remember that time in the NFC Championship game when everyone went nuts over Julio’s 9/180/2 performance and then Hogan went out and posted ………… 9/180/2?
6’1″ 220 lbs isnt big in the NFL
He’s big compared to Edelman and our other little white slot guys
You are correct. Also of note: Brandin Cooks fits the mold size wise. If B-cooks stays outside while Hogan plays the slot, the Pats are slot racists confirmed
I’ll tell you where they keep finding guys. Bill scouts Lacrosse players.
Didn’t Chris Hogan play college lacrosse?
That’s the joke I think.
Hunter Renfrow, future New England Patriot.
Racism? In the northeast? Well, I never!
No Injured Reserve. Also Stafford or as I like to call him “Starscream” (cause he always tried to overthrow Megatron) needs to be on fort Elite Money
Back in 2009 the New York Times did an article called “Happy Feet: How Wes Welker Makes the Patriots Go.”
The reason Edelman works so well in this offense is that he has otherworldly change-of-direction numbers (over the 90th percentile on BOTH the short shuttle and the 3-cone). It’s the reason a lot of us are big on Austin Carr; his numbers, while not quite as exceptional, are similar.
But does he get that weak stuff out of here, or possibly throw the hammer down?
It’s a running joke that the quickest way on the Pats roster is to have a great 3 cone shuttle number.
Punter? Long snapper? Doesn’t matter. Check his 3 cone.
Fuck the pats
Ow…ow…ow…Bill B. in panel 4 just caused me to pull a laughing muscle…ow…
Nah, the Dolphins have to keep feeding small white dudes to NE. First Welker, then Hogan, next will be Drew Morgan. Book it.
Do Pats fans and commentators think Edelman is special? In a word: yes. In a different word: absolutely. Is that true? Iunno. But everyone up here very much believes it is true.
Bill Belichick putting down Edelman like a horse and then having him being carried away in panel 5 was an excellent touch, sir!
Keep up the good work!
And he’s got his kitty with him at all times.
Correction: I forgot Muffins is a dog; hard to tell when it’s that small.
Don’t forget: Brady’s first shifty little slot receiver was…Troy Brown.
The system always helps. As good as brady is, he’s always had ridiculous luck on his side. Ridiculous luck is the difference between 5 rings and literally zero. Tuck rule, Vinatieri’s leg, Malcom Butler’s INT/not giving the ball to beastmode, Edelman catching a turnover-worthy throw to keep them alive, and the defense on multiple occasions bailing out Brady’s screw-ups and shortcomings. The pats went 11-5 sans brady in 08. That says more about the team/coaching/system than the individual player. Decently coached teams who lose their star QB finish 5-11 or worse, not 11-5. Brady is revered as a chessboard Queen when he’s really just a well placed rook.
Ridiculous luck?!
Helmet catch, after Eli was in the grasp and there were about 3 Giants holding.
The miracle catch in the 2nd Patriots/Giants Super Bowl.
The catch that put the Seahawks down inside the 5 at the end of the game.
Reche F’ing Caldwell dropping a wide open td against the Colts in the AFC championship in 2006. They would have slaughtered the Bears in the Super Bowl.
Even on the tuck rule play, the refs didn’t call a blatant illegal head slap on Woodson that should have moved the ball 15 yards.
You could argue that with a little luck the Patriots would have 7 or 8 rings.
And the Patriots wheel of random 6th string white receivers is….AUSTIN CARR! GRAB YOUR JERSEYS BEFORE THE OFFICIAL BANDWAGON!
“I always loved him at Northeastern, I stuck through this guy with everything in his college years and damn right my gay love for him overrides all rational thought and Boston hatred!”