So this past week I was having a conversation with a friend at the sports bar watching the games and with the NFL’s 100 season celebration we somehow ended up discussing the worst scumbags the NFL has ever had. I wondered if we could make a complete team of scumbags. A HoF team of legendary scumbags. So I figured I’d go on some sites, propose the question, and make a giant list of all the douchebags we could think of. Then I’d look at the transgressions and come up with a 53-man roster. The All-Scumbag team. An NFL tradition.

While looking to see who would make the team, I generally was looking at a few important factors:
– Level of transgression. How bad was it? Obviously the likes of murder and rape are at the top, but we have a wide array of assaults, domestic violence, dirty play, and even fraud. I largely ignored drug offenses, especially pot. I was interested in the players who actively harmed other people.
-Amount of transgressions. Did the person have just one incident or was it a pattern of behavior?
-How famous was the player? Lots of dipshits have been horrible people and barely played for a practice squad. If the player was famous and more prone to being defended by the NFL due to “talent” reasons, they deserved higher consideration.
-Mental illness. This did not automatically exclude players from the list, but some leniency was taken into consideration when looking at a player’s troubled mental history.

What I discovered is that linebackers are terrible people, Tight Ends are especially terrible people, and that most O-lineman are good people. I had difficulty narrowing down Linebackers, Receivers, and Running backs, while I struggled to fill out the offensive line with anybody. Tight Ends didn’t feature too many scumbags, but the ones that are featured are scumbag hall of famers. There is also a bit more murder than I anticipated.

Lets have a look! Included is the 53 man roster, plus dishonorable mentions. Those with an * next to their name are starters.

QB: A difficult position to fill. Despite being a position of privilege that attracts egos, there are surprisingly few QBs who appear to be very bad people
Ben Roethlisberger – Obvious choice. Though not convicted of the two rapes, Ben has always come off like a huge dick and many believe the charges to be true.
Jameis Winston – Possibly raped someone in college but had it covered up by the Tallahassee police. He stole crab legs, but most notably he recently received a suspension for groping his uber driver. Winston has exhibited a large pattern of scummy behavior his entire career and I’m honestly tempted to make him the starter.
Mike Vick – A controversial choice, and the very last player I added to the roster to fill out the 53rd slot. This was tough, because it appears Mike Vick has repented and learned his lesson, and has become a better person. However, the extent of his crime and the sheer horror of his acts against the dogs cannot be simply forgotten.

Notable Omissions:
Ryan leaf – was a total dick as a player, and went to jail for drug addictions. However he mostly just hurt himself and has reformed into a positive influence.
Peyton Manning – Probably sexually assaulted a female trainer.

RB: Lots of extremely terrible people! A runningback committee with these people would be the worst tandem in history
*OJ Simpson– Murder. He did a murder. You might have heard about it.
Lawrence Phillips – On top of domestic abuse, he ran over 3 teens in his car and went to prison, where he eventually murdered his cellmate.
Dave Meggett– Had a troubled history with women, most notably when he raped a college student.
Larry Johnson– Homophobic comments, multiple arrests, strangled a former girlfriend, punched and used a broken bottle on someone in a fight, waved a gun at his girlfriend
Adrian Peterson– Whipped his child’s balls bloody and didn’t learn why that was a bad thing, apparently still hit his kid with a belt
Ray Rice – Another tough choice, because outside this one incident Rice has been a model citizen. However this one incident was pretty vile, and kickstarted a PR nightmare and domestic violence crisis in the league due to how poorly it was handled.

Notable omissions:
Kareem Hunt – Kicked a woman during a fight, lied about it
Tiki Barber – Picked a fight with Strahan over contract dispute, quit on the team his final season, divorced his pregnant wife to marry a 23 yr old, trashed his teammates for TV points

WR: No shortage of douchebaggery
Randall Woodfield– Also known as “The I-5 Killer”
*Rae Carruth– Hired a hitman to murder his pregnant girlfriend
Sam Hurd – Ended up being a drug kingpin
Marvin Harrison– May have been a gang leader of sorts? Was involved in a shady shooting and was identified as a shooter by at least one victim.
Michael Irvin– Stabbed a teammate with scissors because he didn’t want to wait for a haircut. Drugs. Sexual assault.
Tyreek Hill– Punched and choked his pregnant girlfriend. Threatened his wife, may have broken his son’s arm.
Antonio Brown– Possible rapist, sexual assault, cheated business partners, is a clown.

Notable Omissions:
Dorial Green-Beckham– Broke into someone’s place and threw a woman down the stairs
Riley Cooper– Racist
Donte Stallworth– Vehicular Manslaughter. Ultimately while this was horrible, I don’t think he’s a bad person.
Mark Ingram Sr. – Fraud and Money laundering
David Tyree– Major homophobe and champion of conversion therapy. Appears to have maybe turned a corner in the past few years
Titus Young– Burglary, assault, battery…but he’s obviously very, very mentally ill
Plaxico Burress– More of a dumbass than a scumbag, really
Larry Fitzgerald– Does not really belong here, but there is always that one guy in every scumbag discussion who has to be the annoying killjoy who is too proud about knowing this trivia fact about Larry Fitz that he will smugly point out his single domestic incident. So this is my acknowledgment that he once got in a fight with his girlfriend.

TE: Not a deep field of names, but true standout scumbags
Aaron Hernandez– Had a bit of a murdering hobby
Kellen Winslow Jr– A despicable person. Serial rapist, assaulter, kidnapping, battery, being a vile human
Jerramy Stevens– Possible rapist, domestic abuse, sexual assault, battery, maybe the most irresponsible driver on the planet, beat up Hope Solo

Noteable Omissions
Mark Chmura  – Got freaky with the 17 yr old babysitter like a creep
Tyler Higbee– hate crime against a middle eastern man

FB- Yes, we need fullbacks on this list, this is NFL history
*Jim Brown– A spicy and problematic history with domestic violence issues
Roosevelt Potts– Went to prison for domestic violence

Notable Omissions:
Heath Evans– Workplace creep, sexual harasser
Bruce Miller– Attacked two people

OFFENSIVE LINE: Surprisingly few scumbags, the hardest positions to fill out.
*OT-Bryant McKinnie– Sex Boat, battery and disorderly conduct
*OT Desmond Harrison– Assault
*OG Richie Incognito– Bullying, assault, sexual assault, dirty player, racist, etc
*OG Conrad Dobler– Very dirty player, punched Mean Joe Greene
*C Barret Robbins– Mentally ill attempted murderer, assault
C Dominic Raiola– verbal harassment

Notable Omissions:
OT Taylor Lewan- May have threatened a rape victim, situation unclear

DT- Not that deep a position, surprisingly
*Warren Sapp– Domestic battery, soliticing prostitutes, bankruptcy, was a dick
Josh Brent– Got drunk, drove like a maniac and killed his teammate in the crash

Notable Omissions:
Earnest Holmes- Mentally ill, shot at a police helicopter
Ndamukong Suh– Stomped on a player, dirty hits
Albert Haynesworth– Stomped on a player, lazy asshole

DE- A strong category of scum
*Robert Rozier– Serial killer, killed more people than he played games in the NFL
*Greg Hardy– Unapologetic domestic abuser
Frank Clark– Domestic violence, threatened a reporter
Ray McDonald– Domestic violence, sexual assault
Leonard Little– Drunk Manslaughter, DUI
Charles Martin– Dirty player, best known for the worst roughing the passer penalty in NFL history when he ruined Jim McMahon’s career

LB- An incredibly stacked position. Linebackers love being terrible people.
*Lawrence Taylor– Did all the drugs, tax evasion, rounded it out with some quality statutory rape
*Bill Romanowski– The dirtiest player of all time, just a vile and violent asshole. Also a racist.
*Eric Naposki– Murder
*Nate Webster– Domestic assault, sexual battery, statutory rape
Ray Lewis– Covered up murder, may have helped the murder
Terrell Suggs– Domestic abuse and assault, threatened to pour bleach on his wife and son
Michael Boley– Child Abuse
Aldon Smith– Dui, hit and run, harassing a TSA agent, assault
Joey Porter– Dirty player, assault

Notable Omissions:
Junior Galette– Domestic Violence
Vontaze Burfict– Dirty player
Hollywood Henderson– Sexual assault, did coke with underage girls
Jovan Belcher– sadly mentally ill, murder-suicide

CB- Lots of attitude, but mostly just talk. However, still some real winners here
*Brandon Browner– Attempted murder
*Pacman Jones– the strip club incident, assaults, vandalism
Perrish Cox– Possible rapist

Notable Omissions:
Aqib Talib– Dirty player (eye gouger and more), shot himself and lied to police
Chris Culliver– hit a biker with his car, major homophobe

Saftey- One major scumbag, plus a few other notables
*Darren Sharper– Prolific serial rapist
*Mossy Cade– Sexually assaulted his own aunt
Jack Tatum– dirty player

Notable Omissions:
Kam Moore– stepped on a woman’s neck
Eugene Robinson– ruined the Falcons first SB run by getting arrested the night before being a douche

SPECIAL TEAMS- Not too many bad guys, but we gotta fill this roster
*Kicker Josh Brown– beat his wife
*Punter Russell Erxleben– Fraud, money laundering
*Long Snapper– Kevin Hauser- fraud

Notable Omissions:
Jeff Reed– weirdo, smashed up a Sheetz bathroom

STAFF- take your pick
Coach- Buddy Ryan– asshole, punched Kevin Gilbride
OC- Sean Payton– Bountygate, apparently is a party creep from whispers I’ve heard
DC- Gregg Williams– asshole, bountygate
Owner- Dan Snyder– Pimping out his own cheerleaders, a well-known piece of shit

Notable Omissions:
Basically ever other owner

No joke, this team would probably go 19-0. That linebacking corp is monstrous. The RB field is stacked, as id the DE position. The only weakness I see is the offensive line. But that’s no issue with Ben “I shrug off defenders and rape allegations with equal ability” Roethlisberger.

Let me know if there is anyone you think belongs that I may have overlooked!