That game fucking sucked. I honestly should have legitimately just skipped it.

17 years ago the Patriots and Rams combined for one of the best Super Bowls ever played. This was like Hollywood saw that franchise sitting in a bin, gave it to a hack director with no budget, and told him to remake it for an easy cash grab. What a shit game. I’ve never had a Super Bowl make me angry simply due to how crap the level of football was. This was a Thursday Night Game packaged as a Super Bowl. Can you imagine how people could think the NFL is rigged after this? Do you think the NFL would make their biggest tentpole pop culture event into this boring garbage? Nobody is happy this is how the season played us out except Pats fans and it’s only because they won it. I doubt any Patriots fan is going to reach for this DVD when they feel like rewatching some old glory. This game deserves to get thrown in a bin next to the other forgettable super bowls we’ve gotten this millennium, like Bears/Colts or Hawks/Steelers. This is the kind of super bowl people are going to have trouble remembering when thinking about past super bowls in a few years.

I don’t want to hear any of that bullshit BUT IT WAS A GOOD DEFENSIVE GAME THO bullshit. That game sucked. It was offensive ineptitude as much as it was good defense. There was plenty of quality defense. The Rams D held up their end of the bargain until late in the 4th and made some legit good stops. But the offense also just…never seemed to work. Brady didn’t look frazzled, he just looked kinda confused and old sometimes. Goff on the other hand was atrocious. The Pats D did well to stuff the run and go after Goff, but even when he had time he still sucked complete ass. He took forever to find a wide open Cooks in the endzone on a play that would change the game if it worked. He took several awful unnecessary sacks, including one where he rolled out of a busted pocket and waltzed over to the sideline, getting leveled despite having all the time in the world to just throw it away. He did it twice. This was a bad football game. If you want a good defensive super bowl go re-watch Broncos/Panthers when Von Miller and Kony Ealy were absolute studs. Each QB got sacked at least 5 times and fumbled twice. That was a good defensive game. This was taco bell shits.

The fact that Gurley was clearly hurt probably changed this game severely. With Gurley the Rams might have been able to do something on O other than splash donkey pee into their eyes. Magic wunderkind McVay didn’t seem to make quality adjustments either, take the easy plays to get something moving even if it is weeny chunk yards. This wasn’t a good Super Bowl. It wasn’t even a good football game.

I wrote an entire goddamn rant about how bored I am watching the Patriots play offense but by the final drives when they actually made some big plays I was fucking thrilled because something was finally fucking happening and all I wanted them to do was just kick the field goal and end it so I could go home. I was begging for the Patriots to end me and if that game went into overtime I might have rioted.


I never thought Maroon fucking 5 would be one of the least dull parts of a super bowl, and Maroon 5 is flaming garbage and they were still crap

EDIT: With a good night sleep to ruminate, I think I have a better idea why this game sucked. This was a game that if you turned it on during Sunday afternoon, you’d switch to another channel. For a Super Bowl, it had a complete lack of memorable moments. No Iconic plays, offensive or defensive. Even the worst Super Bowls I’ve watched have had a few plays that felt like important moments in SB lore. The Bears/Colts had Devin Hester’s return. Steelers/Hawks had the trick play from Randle El and the abysmal officiating. The Broncos Panthers game, even if you hated it, had better moments, like the fumble Cam gave up on. The Seahawks blowout had the hilarious opening safety and tons of great defense. The Ravens/Giants had back to back kickoff returns and amazing defense. What did this game have? The wobbly duck that Goff threw up under pressure that got picked off? That’s basically it. Julian Edelman basically got MVP because he had a decent stat line when no one else did. This game added nothing to the history of Super Bowls. For the supposed most important game of the year, it was a complete waste of time.