There was a story that broke two(?) weeks ago that suggested the Seahawks were shopping Richard Sherman. Kinda odd. Then some info came out that Sherman himself initiated the talks. Also odd. I don’t think anyone took it seriously because what? Sherman and Seattle go together like Pete Carroll and Bubblegum. Sherman wouldn’t really work anywhere else. Seattle is the perfect city and the perfect culture to properly accept Richard Sherman’s particular brand of drama. The intellectual smarty pants who is informed, “woke”, and also arrogant and kind of obnoxious about it is like young liberalism 101, aka Seattle and most of the PNW. I should know, I live in the PNW, and you read these blog posts, it’s all truth (weeps softly into scarf).

But seriously imagine Richard Sherman doing most of what he does on like…Houston. Or Buffalo. New England. Man that would be a fun storm wouldn’t it? At least in Seattle it kind of fits the team and Carroll’s best friend everybody have fun style.

I doubt anyone took it seriously because it was probably a negotiation move by his agent. Maybe Sherms wants an extension and decided to throw the Hawks under the public bus for being “dumb” or “stupid” to let him go, drive up his price. I like to imagine it’s more petty and fun then that. Pete Carroll ordered pizza for the team, and ate the last piece of the Pepperoni, Sherman’s favorite, without offering it first. Actually Sherms doesn’t seem like a straight pepperoni guy. He strikes me as the kind of dick who’d eat one of those vegan topping pizzas with artichokes and asparagus and pretend it satisfies him when everyone knows he secretly wanted the sausage one.

I hope he stays a Seahawk. He fits there. Despite finding him kind of irritating I mostly enjoy his piss-takes of the NFL and such. He is a smart dude and Seattle lets him speak some truths and maybe help inform some folks. Keep being you, Sherms. Can I call you Sherms? Too late.

Also yes before anyone says anything the first panel misspelling was an intentional pun. I thought about spelling it correctly, but thought it would make the pun too subtle, and puns are best when they are smacking your victims in the face as you laugh at your own dumb joke.