Man I didn’t have a high opinion of Bill O’Buttchin before this week and I can’t say my impression of him has improved.

The Texans historic playoff collapse was the nail in the coffin for most fans of the team but Anus Jaw kept his gig and kept it with style. He got promoted. He led the team to one of the worst playoff collapses in history and then he got promoted. His new title is Chip Kelly. He’s the guy in charge of player management and the coach. He’s got all the power within the organization. The Texans saw him fart his way out of a huge lead in a vital game and went “here, have more power, you deserve it”.

If Buttchin had any real defenders left after that debacle there is no way he has them now. Bilbo Butts went and traded one of the franchise players for peanuts. DeAndre Hopkins, one of the best WR’s in the league for the past half decade who now finally had a competent QB throwing him the ball has been sent to replace Larry Fitzgerald in Arizona. What were the terms? Laughable. If you laughed at the return the Giants got for Odell Beckham, this one sent you to the floor with convulsions.

The Texans gave up DeAndre Hopkins and a 4th round pick for David Johnson, a 2nd round pick, and a 4th round pick. So they basically traded an all-pro WR in his prime for a broken-down has-been RB and a second round pick. You can’t even call it a cap space move, because the Texans are going to be paying Johnson’s entire salary, which ends up being roughly the same amount as Hopkins salary was. There is a report that when news of the trade hit another office, the executives started laughing. I can’t say I didn’t do exactly the same. I can’t say I’m still not doing the same two days later.

If I was an NFL team with a QB problem right now I would be 100% inquiring what I could get for DeShaun Watson or maybe Will Fuller. JJ Watt is older and kinda broken but hey, he’d be worth a 3rd. You might even get him for a 4th. Why not? Bill was willing to trade a un-tradeable player for basically some guy we all forgot about because he was really only good for one season and tricked everyone into drafting him in fantasy only to be rewarded with a torn ACL and zero meaningful production since. Of course, I also feel bad for David Johnson, who was on the verge of making the Cardinals relevant again before it went belly up, and now he’s only talked about like a worthless hunk of meat by chucklefucks like myself. I’m sorry David, I hope you get back to form, especially behind 300 Million dollar man Laremy Tunsil. I just assume Bill will pay him too much, right?

It didn’t help that later that same day the Vikings traded Diggs for a 1st, 5th, and 6th rounder from the Bills. Diggs isn’t as good as Hopkins and they still got a better return. God bless our Buttchin friend, and may he continue to Chip Kelly the Texans into oblivion for my amusement.

Sorry, Texans fans, you don’t deserve this. I will say I am a member of one of the few fanbases that understands the pain of watching your dipshit GM trade away an all-pro WR. I sympathize.