Philip Rivers Can’t Social Distance
You can tell Philip is doomed because he had to record a message to Colts fans while clearly sitting on his toilet, likely the only place the man can get any privacy from his fleet of 9 children.
I’m not gonna lie it felt weird drawing him in a Colts uniform. I don’t like it. It’s not right seeing Philip in anything but powder blue. I wish he had retired instead. Especially since his deal with Indy is for just one season.
Indy was one of those franchises that was really a QB away from genuinely competing so this is honestly a good move. Biscuits just wasn’t up to the task last year despite an okay start. Brady would have never gone there and Philip can likely still shot-put his way into the playoffs on this team. The AFCS is reasonably open. There is a decent chance the 2019 Titans were a fluke, the Texans are punching themselves in the dick as long as BoB is in charge, and the Jaguars are blowing it all up. Colts have a chance to do something.
Also I hope everyone is staying safely away from other people! This is some weird shit we’re living through right now and it’s going to get worse before it gets better, so I hope ya’ll are okay. I might have the time to update more frequently in the upcoming weeks because I no longer have a commute to worry about, but we’ll see. I’ve been using the extra free time to exercise more.
I work as a cashier/janitor at a grocery store. Can’t really avoid people.
Exercise your drinking arm, amiright?
by the end of all this, we’ll all either be master chefs or alcoholics
apropos of nothing i had to order more wine because i was running low
this is a false binary.
glad someone picked up on it
“i cook with wine, sometimes i even add it to the food” — w. c. fields
I’ve had half a bottle of decent bourbon in the cabinet going on two years. I wonder if I’ll bother breaking it out.
A few weeks ago, after finding out that Ohio was dropping it from distribution, I bought what, as far as I can tell, was the last bottle of Rittenhouse Bottled-in-Bond in Cuyahoga County. I’m suddenly very glad I did. Kind of wish I’d managed to track down a bottle of Dimple Pinch too though.
Haha, I googled because I had to know and the first bottle shown was (for some reason) Suntory Hibiki 21 Year Old at $879.99 a fifth. For just a moment I thought you were stupid rich, but I bet you’re talking the $25 bottle that was actually Rittenhouse.
Definitely the $25 bottle of rye. If I had $800 to spend on liquor it would be multiple bottles of something.
Frickin liquor stores are state owned in my neck of the woods, and they are all shut down. I live close enough to a bordering state that I could make a road trip, but it seems kind of pathetic to drive an hour for a bottle whiskey, no?
Depends on how good the whiskey is.
not as pathetic as people waiting 3 hours in front of a grocery store for some toliet paper
For one bottle, yes. For a variety, some bitters, some mixers, noooo.
I did it in college. Canyon, TX to New Mexico for sunday sales since that’s when I could take the time…I understand Randall County went wet recently though.
I like the idea that he has to number his kids just to keep track of them too.
Thank you for this. My daughter goes to a small k-12 Catholic school in Indianapolis. (Only about 70 kids in the whole school) When the news broke that Phillip Rivers was coming to Indy we created a task force to try to get the Rivers family to come to the school. It will increase the student population by over 10%.
As a Colts fan, I like this move for the Colts. Phillip Rivers and the Chargers have ended many a playoff run for the Colts in the Peyton Era. Every team has that one team they struggle with that they shouldn’t struggle with. Chargers were always that for the Colts. I’m a little apprehensive because he has no one to throw it with but Obi Wan Jacoby just wasn’t getting it done towards the end of the season. Line is good enough for Rivers to plant and throw and he is fairly immobile so the line will know where he is behind them. Colts have no one to throw to other than T.Y. But hopefully they can figure that out in the rest of FA or the deep WR draft.
My hope is that they get Demarcus Robinson for cheap in the next wave of FA and then draft Chase Claypool and/or Cole Kmet out of Norte Dame. Robinson would be a quintessential Ballard signing, given the Chiefs connection and the fact he can be gotten cheap. Claypool is the most underrated WR prospect in a draft already loaded at WR, I think he could wind up being the best outside of the big 3 (Jeudy, Lamb, Ruggs). Kmet is a pass-catching tight end which Rivers loves throwing to, and he would fill in nicely in Ebron’s departure.
Oh man, so true. I won so many bets thanks to the mysterious ability of Rivers’s Chargers to beat Peyton’s Colts no matter the apparent gap in talent. In hindsight I really should have made more of those bets for actual money.
Good luck getting fit.
Simple idea.
He pays someone to fake a diagnosis for coronavirus for him. He gets to isolate somewhere.
He intentionally gets his kids coronavirus for real.
Some of them live, some don’t. The herd is thinned to a manageable number of children.
Can we pleeze get a comic of money Ryan Tannehill rising from the sun?
PSA: as the father of 3 small children (ages 4, 2 and 1), you aren’t even safe on the toilet. The oldest two are freakishly tall for their age and have both figured out how to unlock doors in our house. Also children instinctively know when you’re incapacitated, so they realize if you are on the toilet and you can’t get up to stop them they can get into anything.
Actually, Rivers just has weird bedroom decor:
https://twitter.com/chargershype/status/1241489714080673795?s=21
He probably has a better shot with the Colts than the Chargers, that’s for certain.