Odell Beckham Goes To The Zoo
I’m still ill, and on top of that Oregon is burning to the ground and I might have to evacuate if things don’t improve soon, so what I’m saying is there is a chance my last comic alive is about Odell Beckham Jr. enjoying getting pooped on and I’m at peace with that.
This story got little traction outside twitter, because it probably isn’t even true, but man, I couldn’t pass this one up. According to an instagram model on a podcast, Beckham’s fetish is feces. He’s a Scatman, but not in the fun 90’s Jazzman Techno fusion way, the poop way. He’s a big fan of the ol’ Cleveland Steamer. He’s a #2 receiver. Insert your poop joke of choice here, there are a lot to choose from.
I like to believe that the story didn’t get more traction because the media at large decided not to kinkshame but it probably didn’t get a lot of notice because it seems kinda weak at best. All we have to go on is the word of a random model who goes by Slim Danger. Not exactly the Washington Post level of investigative journalism here. No other reports or rumors I could find, just mostly memes and jokes. But the jokes were gold.
Then again, I sometimes think back to a couple seasons ago when that video dropped of Odell at a party of some sort on the bed with some ladies eating pizza, clearly high, with some sort of drugs visible at one point. I thought that was going to explode and as he was a Giant at the time, had to brace myself for the next round of Odell media bullshit. It never came. Maybe Odell got some hush money hustle and knows how to keep the shit under wraps. It’s probably not this, but poop is funny and the concept of Odell frantically paying people off to not let it get out that he likes getting pooped on is funny.
Honestly, if the dude likes being the fan that the shit hits, may as well own it. Whatever gets your rocks off, my dude. Just make sure it’s consensual, as hygienic as possible, and courteous to anyone else who might smell it.
Oh and I guess welcome back football
But if the jokes were gold they were’t brown. I am disappoint.
If the Instagram model ate a lot of carrots or sweet potatoes, they might have had a golden hue.
moar poop jokes plz
its the end of the world, may as well
Now we know why he was so happy to come here . . .
Seriously though, what he does in his private life doesn’t bother me, as long as it doesn’t interfere with his ability to play and isn’t illegal or against league rules. So I guess as long as he doesn’t get salmonella, I’m cool with him being into whatever weird shit he’s into.
I do like that he responded to it with a sense of humor. https://www.instagram.com/p/CE4ixyYhkQo/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Hope you feel better soon Dave. And hopefully those fires stay away.
I like shitty jokes as much as the 2nd guy, but why is the monkey wearing a Santa hat?
This is xmasape’s number two appearance in TDP; you can see the other one by clicking on the xmasape tag above.
But I have no idea; it wasn’t explained then either.
[Door Flies Open] I assume its a callback to KSK founder Mike Tunison.
It is! I couldn’t draw an Ape without a santa hat
I miss DFO. Especially their broadcast map analysis. I’ll never forget that Kirby was 68th on the 2014 Browns QB depth chart
By the way, it’s five stripes, not seven.
I was wondering why it looked like he was in a Bengals uniform, and this would explain it. Those shoulder pads look like tiger stripes.
Can’t wait for him to drop a pass and have people say he shit the bed.
I appreciate that you plan on making comics after your death, but as intriguing as that sounds we reallydon’t want that just yet. Get well and stay safe!
Hey if you are having ulcer issues try out bananas. They have vitamin “U”, for ulcer. Worked awesome for me when medicine didn`t.
New fantasy name for the year: Brown it like Beckham
Youre Welcome
Dave watch Gridiron Heights. You won’t regret it…
Must be nice living as a Giants fan outside of Giants country. Granted, even the worst media brouhahas end up only being a few days (at most) in the ADD world we live in, where there’s always something shinier taking our attention away. But I can assure you, up in New England, it got covered in all of the papers and local tv reports for the better part of a week. Boomer and Carton (back in his pre-felon days) went on about it ad nauseum. My coworkers would have used it against me for far more than that, but I already hated OBJ by that point and was actively shouting from the top of my cubicle that he needed to get the boot. Aside from the Super Bowl victories, the day he was traded is definitely a Top 5 Giants Moment for me. All his whining and crying about being sent to Cleveland to die are almost as hilarious as Trump whining that the media is saying bad things about him. XD
Blergh, I screwed that up. Carton was gone by 2018. For some reason anxiety has ravaged my memory, especially over the last 4 years. =/
I guess Odell wanted some “Sexy Rexy”
yeah man, i dunno, kinda disingenuous to getchyer larfs at an unsubstantiated internet rumor about someone’s taboo kinks, and then be all whatever it’s all good.(i’m on the record as liking rex ryan more because he’s an unashamed kinkster)