Seriously lets take things back a few weeks because I really don’t think we talked about this dirty deed enough. Someone literally ate shit. Literally. They bent over and legitimately¬†ate shit. I have so many questions.

Who is poop guy? How drunk was poop guy? He was sober enough to seem relatively steady. He wasn’t wobbling or stumbling, he seemed pretty stable. Was it the alcohol that made him eat the poop?

What gave him the idea to eat the poop? Did a friend urge him on? Was there a wager? Did he eat the poop of his own free will? How much happened before the video got turned on? By the time we see the event, it appears everyone kind of already knows that poop eating is gonna go down. What did we miss?

Why poop? Why eat poop? Why not knock over a trash can or climb a pole? Why poop?

Did it taste better or worse than expected, poop guy? I’ve watched Pink Flamingos and saw the one scene everyone remembers from it (When Divine eats literal fresh poop) and barely made it through that. I have a strong stomach but that got to me pretty bad, and watching poop guy slowly get into position, presumably long enough to think heavily about what he is doing, just made me wonder and squirm some more. I had more respect for Cleveland poop guy, he just bent over, scooped it and ate it in like 2 seconds, fast enough to avoid thinking about it. Eagles poop guy made it a slow and painful event.

What is poop guy up to now? Did he do it for the internet views? Would you eat poop to be internet famous? I don’t think I would. Who could you tell about it? Could you possibly be proud of eating the poop for internet fame?
“hey, I went viral once!”
“Oh yeah? for what?”
“Ya know what no, I lied”

Do you like bring up that there is video proof of you eating shit to anyone?  Is this an incredibly dirty skeleton in a closet now or a point of pride for a sad man just trying to get a little bit of attention?

Will this come up on dates for poop guy in the future? How many people knew about poop guy’s identity? I want to know how poop guy is living his life right now. I want to know if he woke up the next day wondering why he smelled and tasted so dirty, then saw his phone and said “oh no”.

Something tells me if he was proud of his poop eating we’d have gotten more information by now. We don’t know who poop guy is. Someone knows who he is. I had to guess mostly what he looks like for this comic as the video is of poor quality and he’s wearing a lot of clothing, and I want to know how right I got it.

Poop guy, I want to talk to you about the poop. About your life. I want to understand you. If you happen to see this comic, to see this commentary, please contact me. You can email me¬† at If someone who knows poop guy sees this, please contact me. I want to talk, poop guy. I will be a fair interview. I will respect your decision to eat poop. I just want to know why. I want to see what has made you into the proud poop eating person you are. I will keep your identity as secret as you wish. I want to be the guy who gets the exclusive with poop guy. Let’s make this happen.