There was a silly little story that came out this week about Sam Bradford’s butt.  Some random personal trainer has analyzed Sam Bradford’s posterior and has determined that his glutes are shameful. The personal trainer believes that the butt is an essential part of any QB’s ability. There is more to throwing than just your arm, good throwing mechanics use your whole body, feet and up. It’s an…interesting theory. Certainly the butt plays a part in a throw, helping keep the core level and firm. A taught, powerful buttocks may just be what Sam Bradford needs to take the Eagles to the next level. He has spent two seasons healing his knee, it’s quite possible he was skimping on his squats, or even entire leg days. Never skip leg day.

Lets have a gander at it, shall we?

I dunno. It’s certainly not your best butt. Not a lotta junk to the trunk and the legs are pretty thin. Maybe there is some credibility to the derriere theroem. Bradford could certainly use a better tight end right now. Some more evidence supporting the stronger butt/stronger throw theory: Peyton Manning’s current tuchus:


Look at that. It’s barely even there. We call that Chicken Nugget butt, where it’s just a gross lumpy butt with a tiny little crease at the bottom. Sir Mix-a-lot would be appalled. Right now receivers don’t want none because Peyton’s got no buns hon. PeyPey don’t got back. Know what quarterback is also a big old fart but still slings it like a man? That’s right, check out this rear:

Look at the curve on that sucker. This is why Tom Brady is still winning championships and Peyton Manning is only winning endorsements. To have a QB make the back shoulder throw you gotta have a QB with the Back Side. Quarterback? That’s a full back.  An ass of champions. Tom Brady has two killer tight ends, Gronk and his own. Admire it, gentlemen, this is true beauty. All the greats had killer glutes. Example:


Huh, you know what? That thing has folds in all the wrong spots. Nevermind, theory debunked.