Mile High Mart
Jun13
on June 13, 2022
at 12:01 am
The Broncos are now owned by the Walmart guy. I had a big blog post that I wanted to make about it but it needed more time in the slow cooker but I didn’t want to leave you without anything, so here you go. Discuss.
Fuck.
How soon until the Broncos move to Arlansas or start paying players minimum wage?
The slander after all of their losses is going to be insane.
Hoers is too expensive an animal. Why didn’t they start with kitty or birb?
The Denver Associates
Were there any Broncos players who were notably caught with guns? The section number could (should?) have been a dig at them.
*cough cough* aquib talib *cough cough*
first thing i think about when someone says broncos and guns
Aqib Talib shot himself in the leg while playing for the Broncos
He pulled a Plaxico? That’s crazy?
people of broncos dot com
I thought the Rams owner owned Wal-mart
His wife has a stake, not him personally.
Bland quality. Non-existent customer service. Complete domination of the marketplace for no reason.
They’re a perfect fit!!!
holy shit, fucking nailed it
Mile High’s going to have that Subway bread stank in it now.
Pretend for a second that this comments section has updoots because I’d be updooting this.
People who unironically (or ironically for that matter) say “updoot” should be neutered. Keep that stuff with the other neckbeards on Reddit.
Here’s your (you).
I used to view the Broncos as a fairly neutral franchise, but between the Peyton Manning years and Elway’s loud incompetence as a GM at the QB spot, and now this, that’s change. I like Russ, so that helps, but if they’re not careful, they could challenge the Colts/Jets/Giants triumvirate of unlikability soon! 🙂
Tell me you’re a Patriots fan without telling me you’re a Patriots fan.
Yoooooooooo! LOL! That comment is so dead on, Zippy! I applaud you!
Why would a Pats fan not like the Jets or the Colts? The Jets have been a +20 year freebie in the division and the beat the Colts in the playoffs like every time they met?
Are you kidding?
Jets: recruited Bill Parcells away from the Patriots during their Super Bowl run in the 1996 season. The Packers probably would have won anyway, but the rumors swirling around Parcells’ defection had to be seriously distracting and must have affected the team in various ways, such as the *head coach* not putting 100% effort into preparing for the biggest game of the year, so f*ck the Jets.
Colts: were complicit in the DeflateGate conspiracy, and were the trigger that got pulled to fire the whole thing off. Since debunked by everyone from fifth graders at science fairs to Nobel-winning physicists, and the league itself as they failed to publish any of the ball pressure data they supposedly collected the following season to show the balls were deflated (gee I wonder why). This cost Brady 4 games and the Patriots a 1st round draft pick, so f*ck the Colts as well.
Are you aware of the NY/MA blood feud? We are contractually obligated to despise one another. It does not matter if we basically get free wins. We still hate.
Every penny that Raiders Fans , Chiefs Fans and Chargers Fans now spend in a Walmart is going to support their rivals. There’s a beautiful Irony in that.
Who cares, they can’t possibly be worse than Snyder
More like Wal-Fart
I got nothin
As a Denverite myself I’m just honored that you gave Blucifer a shoutout in this comic. As for the acquisition itself: meh. Walton is a garbage human being but there wasn’t really gonna be someone able to spend $5bn on a sports team who isn’t of questionable character. I’ll live with it as long as he doesn’t interfere with GM Paton’s work on trying to make Denver a legit contender again
Basically this. If you can find 5-10 “good” owners without questionable character in the league, I’d say that’s a bountiful harvest. At the end of the day, almost all of them are – openly or secretly – total a-holes.
Theme song:
“I am the Wal-Russ”
Koo koo ka joob….
Are owners that important?
Now Denver has a one stop shop