Comic #3 for Dez Bryant Pun Week!

I have a friend who eats too much Taco Bell. He likes to talk about how much Taco Bell he eats. I know he’ll read this and I know he will feel no shame. He should feel shame. Taco bell is shame. Damnit Steve take better care of yourself and this is coming from a man eating ice cream, right now, at 11:30, as I type with sticky fingers. (The perks of living like a slob when the Fiancee is out of town)

I never really got into Taco Bell as a thing. Not even as cheap college late night munchie food. Taco Bell food tastes like cardboard. There is no actual foodMost fast food Mexican joints taste like cardboard. I had a friend take me to a place called Mighty Taco when I lived in upstate New York. Got a lot of hype from her about it. It tasted like cardboard too, and I couldn’t tell the difference between Mighty Taco and, you guessed it, Taco bell. Out here in Portland I see a place called Taco Time and I’m simply not going to go because I know what it will taste like. It will taste like cardboard. There will be little no meat in the taco. The taco will be stale. I will be sad. Chipotle is good though, outside the whole e-coli thing. Although when I eat Chipotle it’s like losing your soul. First bite is the best thing you’ve ever tasted. The last bite is you wishing for death.

Also, Hard Tacos > Soft Tacos. Soft Tacos are just lamer versions of burritos and at that point you might as well order a burrito because burritos rule. Hard Tacos are messy but they taste way better. Burritos are the bomb and better than both. Burrito bowls are also adequate because you can balance eat bite unlike a normal burrito where you might get one bite of mostly rice and sour cream and then you’re unhappy because goddamnit you wanted some of that sweet barbacoa, and you can’t figure out what corner of the burrito the meat is tucked into.

Enchiladas are the best. And Salsa Verde > Red Salsa. Fight me.