CARTOON BETS 2025 WEEK 5: Every Game Wrong
Dillion Gabriel! Welcome to the Browns Hydra!
Well it’s been a while since I had double-digit losses on a week. Considering 4 teams were on a bye, my record was even more abysmal. The thing is, outside picking the Browns over the Vikings in London, I don’t even think I was particularly bold with most of my choices. I would love to know how badly the worldwide eliminator pools went this week. Anyway, my misery is your gain, and what a week to lose everything!
We’ve got some real cursed shit in here, so let’s just start with maybe one of the worst things I’ve ever made.
That Boncos picture is one of my personal favorites now even if the other ones got more love online when posted.
Due to the avalanche of incorrect guesses, I only have one unseen sketch for you this week. The Division Bell Tie sketch
The hydra feels like it needs so much more Keep Out tape. And razor wire.
Pure Newtonian physics suggest it’s got to fall over soon due to centre of gravity. That and it’s the Browns.
No, no, you see… they inject helium into those heads, so it won’t fall over, but will eventually just up and float away, into the sky… like some demon monster of the heavens, blotting out the light of the sun and casting its pall across the earth.
They’ve got air pockets in their necks like a sauropod to keep them from getting too heavy.
They’re propped up by sadness.
the baker is unbelievably cursed
I have the Chiefs and Colts in the eliminator so I’m still alive
The double-digit bet losses rang a bell, actually. Double-checked, and yep. In 2023 Week 7 there were 6 teams on a bye and you picked 10 out of 13 games wrong: https://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/week-7-pics-hell-in-a-cell/
Right now for the week we’re at 10 out of 14, so it might not actually be the worst ever unless the Jags win in MNF.
UPDATE: Well hot diggity.
Jayden Daniels – Sieg Heil!
Love the theme this week
I guess we finally saw what it takes for the Titans to win a game, just the other team punching themselves in the dicks over and over and over.
Something hilarious about Skattebo (Skattewho?) trying to blame his gloves as the reason he fumbled on a key drive.
I have issues with this take… at any point during or after the game, did Skattebo say, “It was my gloves fault, not mine!!” as to the reason he fumbled? Happy to stand corrected if I missed it, but simply asking for a new pair of gloves during the game is NOT evidence of “blaming” them. It’s simply a player trying to get a different pair of gloves. Is a player who slips on turf “blaming” his cleats by simply putting on a new pair? No.
He was throwing a temper tantrum. I chose to create the story he is blaming the gloves because that is hilarious to me and the game was mostly unwatchable. I can understand why a Giants fan doesn’t find my take funny but whatever.
Fair enough, I thought you were saying he was explicitly blaming the gloves. He took responsibility for it after the game, which I think says a lot for a rookie. But yea, to a non-Giants fan, I’m sure it’s hilarious. LAUGH AT OUR PAIN, YOU MONSTER!
Macnana is definitely cursed, but that Bee Girl Stroud has gotta be a close second.