Sometimes you just gotta make the weird comics that pop into your brain at 4pm in the afternoon when you’re sitting in your backyard in PJs eating sunflower seeds watching your stupid 6 month old puppy chase squirrels around the fence. She never has any chance of catching them. She can’t jump high enough. All that jumping and all those sunflower seeds make you really thirsty. Starts making you think about water. Water makes you think about Miami, which is about a decade from not existing anymore thanks to rising water levels. Maybe the Dolphins did right by picking up Brock Osweiler. He may not be good at his job, but with the rising water levels, soon he will have a distinct advantage during home games as he’ll be the only player on the field tall enough to not drown. It makes you wonder if he was always really big. Did he come out with dreams of playing basketball? Of playing football? Of fighting giraffes? If Brock Osweiler was my dog, he’d be tall enough to catch the squirrels on the top of the fence. But then I’d have a dog that’s even worse at playing quarterback than my 6 month old idiot puppy. Anyway Brock sucks at football  but I hope his tall ass stays on the dolphins because the league is better with Brock Osweiler occasionally being bad on television.