Bad Comedian Eli Manning
The NFC East is bad. I love it, because I love chaos and clownball and the NFCE brings that in spades, but they are bad. None of these teams deserves the crown. These teams are all bad. They all have cable.
Bad Comedian Eli Manning seems like the kinda guy who’d post really compressed image macros on your facebook wall. All of these gags I wrote are bad jokes I’d wager most of you have heard before. The Redskins one is recent, but the “No chance of a touchdown in (Team’s) Endzone is so old dirt was a teenager when it started. Yet every year some chuckle nut twitter parody account takes that gag, slaps the text on a picture of an endzone, and then gets a billion retweets from it. The “Let me down one last time” joke is old too. That Browns fan who died like two years ago put that joke in his obituary and that news story spread around, but I’d heard that joke at least several years before that, that guy gets no points for originality. The only one I sort of made up here was the America’s team one, but that was just me bastardizing a Daily Show bit.
One thing I do like is the Direct TV/Cable commercials, although I miss Rob Lowe. Petite Randy Moss is my favorite.
Discussion (19) ¬
I’ve actually never heard the endzone joke before.
Dave, please do one for the other 7 divisions (the Souths especially)
Petite Randy Moss needs to meet Tiny Russell Wilson and Li’l Penny Hardaway.
The Direct TV adverts are getting pretty desperate. “Im Peyton Manning , and Im High Pitched Peyton Manning”. Thats just desperate.
Howabout “Im 2014 Jason Pierre-Paul, and I have Direct TV” “Im 2015 Jason Pierre Paul, and I have cable because I cant work a remote control anymore”
Holy shit, that’s good.
What if that was the plan all along, and JPP blowing his hand off was to get into character?
How about “Im Russel Wilson and I have Direct TV. And Im straight Russel Wilson and I have cable.”
I’m Russell Wilson and I don’t have sex. Ever.
Wanna see a photo of my mother-in-law? Neither do I
Bravo from another NFC Easter! Hm, drinking started earlier than usual this year.
and then you realize “Petite Randy Moss” is still like 5’9″.
But he still can’t reach the Fruity Munch.
The worst thing about the NFC East is that ESPN won’t stop talking about them. You’d never know that there are 7 other divisions of football (and the Patriots). Heck, I heard that First Take was pretty much nothing but Cowboys and Eagles all week.
“Hi, Im regular season Ryan Tannehill, and I have Direct TV”
“And Im post-season Ryan Tannehill, and I dont exist”
The NFC East is terrible, but the AFC South makes a good argument for being even worse. Either way, the fifth seed is looking like a very attractive place to be in both conferences.
In other news, the Ravens are 0-3 and the Raiders are 2-1. What kind of topsy turvy universe did I walk into?
What does an Eagles fan do when his team wins the Super Bowl?
Turn off the PlayStation.
You should of drawn in an unsexy rexy.
Kind of thought that the guys on the left was Kevin Hart.