Tony Dungy seems like a great guy. He’s a big figure in football history. First black coach to win a super bowl. Creator of the Tampa 2 defense, which won a different super bowl and has been used in various forms since. He’s calm and humane in his personality, like a loving dad. He genuinely seems like a quality person overall. He’s like a soothing reassuring dad of the league. If Tony Dungy sat by my bedside, tucked me in, and told me that I’m worth something, I might cry. Probably because he looks like a goblin with those ears but also because he just has that air of positive reinforcement and love about him.

This personality doesn’t translate to being a good talking head and I have no idea what bum stuck him in the NBC halftime booth with Rodney Harrison.

Every time Tony talks during the halftime segments I find myself counting sheep in an effort to focus and stay awake. Dungy should not be on TV. I don’t doubt his football credentials. I doubt his ability to inject literally any inflection or change in style into his voice. Tony Dungy does not have broadcast charisma. Tony Dungy reminds me of Bob Ross or Mister Rodgers. I don’t want Mr. Rodgers or Bob Ross in the booth. I want sass. I want energy. I want smarts delivered in understandable language. I want literally any sort of voice inflection. I don’t want Tony to stare at me as if he’s looking into my soul. Not judging my soul, but he’s for sure looking at it.

Give Tony a show on NFL network where he goes around telling players who had notable fuckups that it’s okay, that their lives are meaningful and they matter. Take him off the halftime show. His talents are not suited to that. Halftime shows should be reserved for people like Boomer screaming highlights at me or the FOX crew constantly mocking each other, not gentle football goblin daddy.

EDIT: This was supposed to go up Wednesday lmao, do not expect a new comic tomorrow, I scheduled it wrong