Yay we can finally get to some backlogged material. Lets talk about that new Jaguars QB, that Foles guy.

Can we take a moment to just reflect on what a bizarre career Foles has had? Foles was drafted in the 3rd round of the 2012 draft, basically the round where QBs get drafted when they aren’t expected to be anything but a cheap clipboard. He ended up on the Eagles behind Vick during his post-prison resurgence. Most people know Foles from his 2013 season but he actually popped in for a few games in 2012 when Vick was (get this) injured, including one comeback victory against the Bucs. No reason to expect much out of him, even after that. He broke his hand that season too.

His 2013 season was this out of nowhere Tom Brady story. Mike Vick got hurt again, and Foles made us all learn his name. After a brief injury and being replaced by Vick and Matt Goddamn Barkley, Foles started against the Raiders and threw 7 touchdowns. He rocked it for the rest of the season and was basically Jesus to Philadelphia. The Eagles lost to the Saints in the playoffs but it looked like Foles was going to lead Philly to the promised land.

But first, he gets hurt and the Chip Kelly Eagles turn into a big ol’ pile of slop. He looked more normal that year, but broke his collarbone and we never got a full Foles season. He was then traded for Sam Bradford. Why? I mean who knows, Chip Kelly was a moron.

He plays average on the Jeff Fisher Rams and everyone forgets him. He is even benched for Case Keenum. He struggles and gets released. He was in a low place and considered retirement. He ends up on the Chiefs back with Andy Reid and briefly replaces Alex Smith after injury. He may have wanted to retire on the Chiefs, but I think it’s more fun to assume Jeff Fisher ruined him.

Foles ends up back on the Doug Pederson Eagles, probably the only place left where anybody could give a shit about him. I doubt even Eagles fans would predict what happened next. Dude comes in for Carson Wentz and goes on a legendary run, stomping Case Keenum in the process. He beats Tom Brady and the Patriots in a Super Bowl for the ages. He becomes legend. When his stock is at the highest point, he just…stays in Philly as a backup. He almost does the same thing again the next year, coming in for Wentz and leading the Eagles on a glorious playoff run.

Now he’s a very rich Jaguar. He went from mid-round pick to hero, to waste, to forgotten, to hero, to backup, to hero, to Duuuuuuval. Foles is weird. I don’t know how good he will be on Jacksonville. He’s had turnover issues in the past and his powers only seem to activate when the actual starter goes down and hope is lost. Now hope is high and no one’s in front of him.

But hey, I still get to make dick jokes. That’s a win.