The Jaguars Get A Big Addition
Yay we can finally get to some backlogged material. Lets talk about that new Jaguars QB, that Foles guy.
Can we take a moment to just reflect on what a bizarre career Foles has had? Foles was drafted in the 3rd round of the 2012 draft, basically the round where QBs get drafted when they aren’t expected to be anything but a cheap clipboard. He ended up on the Eagles behind Vick during his post-prison resurgence. Most people know Foles from his 2013 season but he actually popped in for a few games in 2012 when Vick was (get this) injured, including one comeback victory against the Bucs. No reason to expect much out of him, even after that. He broke his hand that season too.
His 2013 season was this out of nowhere Tom Brady story. Mike Vick got hurt again, and Foles made us all learn his name. After a brief injury and being replaced by Vick and Matt Goddamn Barkley, Foles started against the Raiders and threw 7 touchdowns. He rocked it for the rest of the season and was basically Jesus to Philadelphia. The Eagles lost to the Saints in the playoffs but it looked like Foles was going to lead Philly to the promised land.
But first, he gets hurt and the Chip Kelly Eagles turn into a big ol’ pile of slop. He looked more normal that year, but broke his collarbone and we never got a full Foles season. He was then traded for Sam Bradford. Why? I mean who knows, Chip Kelly was a moron.
He plays average on the Jeff Fisher Rams and everyone forgets him. He is even benched for Case Keenum. He struggles and gets released. He was in a low place and considered retirement. He ends up on the Chiefs back with Andy Reid and briefly replaces Alex Smith after injury. He may have wanted to retire on the Chiefs, but I think it’s more fun to assume Jeff Fisher ruined him.
Foles ends up back on the Doug Pederson Eagles, probably the only place left where anybody could give a shit about him. I doubt even Eagles fans would predict what happened next. Dude comes in for Carson Wentz and goes on a legendary run, stomping Case Keenum in the process. He beats Tom Brady and the Patriots in a Super Bowl for the ages. He becomes legend. When his stock is at the highest point, he just…stays in Philly as a backup. He almost does the same thing again the next year, coming in for Wentz and leading the Eagles on a glorious playoff run.
Now he’s a very rich Jaguar. He went from mid-round pick to hero, to waste, to forgotten, to hero, to backup, to hero, to Duuuuuuval. Foles is weird. I don’t know how good he will be on Jacksonville. He’s had turnover issues in the past and his powers only seem to activate when the actual starter goes down and hope is lost. Now hope is high and no one’s in front of him.
But hey, I still get to make dick jokes. That’s a win.
Nick Foles is going to go down as a popular NFL trivia question.
Who is Vinny Testaverde?
Last year Tom Brady passed Vinny Testaverde as the quarterback that completed passes to the most different receivers. Props to Tom he’s had, you know, a pretty good career, but I like it when odd record holders are like: “Oh yeah…I remember that guy…”
That’s a cool stat. Also, Vinny is the epitome of “hey, I remember that guy”. If you’re ever taking a multi answer football quiz always enter Vinny because he shows up freakin’ everywhere.
For people who watch The Good Place; what is Jason Mendoza going to do without Bortles? Personally if Bortles died in the show and made an appearance it would be legendary
Whatever the answer is, I’m sure it involves at least one Molotov cocktail.
Great comic; not trying to nitpick but Nick Foles is #7 now
Ah shit, why’d you have to go and change it on me, Foles you bum
“[H]is powers only seem to activate when the actual starter goes down and hope is lost.”
…come to think of it, has anyone ever seen Ryan Fitzpatrick and Nick Foles in the same place, at the same time?
Yes, they literally quarterbacked against each other in week two last year.
But were they on the field on the same time?
OOOOOOOOH
Jags bring on RGIII as starting QB. Turns into VOLTRON.
Kilroy was here
Nick Foles is a cadillac of a man that occasionally plays quarterback very well. Jaguars fans will love rooting for him. His floor is Blake Bortles, but his ceiling is Pro Bowler. I tend to hand wave away his time on the Rams as not indicative of his true skill because of the Jeff Fisher effect.
The Jeff Fisher effect is also why I maintain that Steve McNair is the greatest quarterback of all time. Sorry Tom Brady, but you are number 2 to the guy that was great despite dealing with a head coach that was an actual obstacle to success.
Now, let’s be fair to Chip. He wasn’t just your average, run-of-the-mill moron. He didn’t just trade Nick for Bradford. No, he traded Nick *AND* a 4th rounder *AND* a 2nd rounder for Sammy Sleeves. And Bradford, I might add, wasn’t even coming off a good-for-him year; he was coming off his *SECOND* ACL tear in the same knee in as many years.
What I’m saying here is that Dave Gettleman is a genius in comparison.
What a Jagass.
Nick Foles has only ever lost to one quarterback in the playoff.
Maybe your best work to date
#KickNick
Aaaaaaand he’s gone.