The Drawplay Curse
That Baker comic wasn’t even my original idea for Wed. I had it as a backup theme in case I didn’t have enough time to do the idea I was actually working on. That comic was a lateral and should show up next week pending slow news days. I produced the Browns news comic quickly so I’d have something to post and I figured if they hadn’t given us news yet, Wednesday morning would be safe. Did it again. I could even see that shit coming the instant I made it and it still happened. It was live for maybe 9 hours, most of those the wee hours of the morning before the Browns did me dirty. I found out when a Browns fan friend texted me to laugh at me.
If there is any sort of Draw Play curse, this is it. My ability to will progress into action by commenting on how nothing is happening or making a joke that is instantly outdated the day it goes live. Many have asked me to use my powers for good. Unfortunately, I cannot. I would have killed off all the owners by now and made the Giants a dynasty if I had that kind of power. I think the universe knows when I am trying to play it and waits for me to lower my guard and think I’m safe.
Anyway I like being an artist because I can just draw myself doing things I’ve never be able to do in real life. I’d be lucky to get a baby to go ten yards if I’m being honest. They are heavier than footballs and squishy, and not terribly aerodynamic. Maybe if I dropped it lengthwise and made sure my foot never hit the hard skull I might be able to propel it further.
EDIT: Had a busy weekend and didn’t want to jinx myself again, comics will resume Wed
The only more impressive football curse I have ever seen was that one year of Carl picking the loser every week in the Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week. That was the year the Sanchez JEST embarrassed the Patriots in the playoffs, a week I hadn’t watched the Lock, and in the third quarter it was obvious to me what Carl’s pick was.
“embarrassed the Patriots in the playoffs”? I mean, no self-respecting team should EVER lose to Rex Ryan or the Jets, so I guess I can see that. But that was in the middle of the years of great regular season records and playoff fizzles for the Patriots. If any game that season was embarrassing, the 45-3 beatdown the Patriots gave them a few weeks earlier was worse (one of many infamous “bury the football” speeches by an embarrassed head coach). If any Patriots playoff loss was embarrassing, it would be one to the Bills this past year or losing a Super Bowl to Nick Foles because your defense can’t stop Nick Foles, and your best player sits on the sidelines.
Yes yes, the Patriots should literally never lose. And talking about the 45-3 beatdown is silly. The regular season doesn’t matter compared to playoffs. Like, not even a little.
Yes, they embarrassed the Patriots in the playoffs that year. The Jets were a good team in 2010, but New England finished 14-2. Tom Brady was the first ever unanimous MVP selection. They had the league’s number 1 offense (though it was backed by a relatively mediocre defense but even then it was still passable). They basically bulldozed everyone in the regular season, and they absolutely annihilated the Jets just a few weeks prior on National Television. They should have, at the bare minimum, been playing in the Super Bowl that year. They had zero business going one and done.
If that’s not getting embarrassed in the playoffs, I don’t know what is.
2 Likes- Tyreek Hill, Adrian Peterson
I know the NFL scriptwriters are concocting something devious for this season after all of the recent Bills negativity on this page
Don’t you know as long as William B. Davis is alive the Bills will never win a Super Bowl?
Gotta be honest, after I heard the Baker news, I have never been more excited for a Draw Play comic than this one. And I must say, the baby punting did not disappoint.
Panthers play the Browns this season, too. Hopefully, Baker absolutely shreds them.
They play week 1, which means the Browns’ opening day winless streak plays heavily into things. But behind that line, up against the Browns’ pass rush, I doubt Baker does much of anything no matter what the outcome of the game is.
We did pretty heavily retool the line this offseason so we’ll see if it pays off
As someone with an infant, you have triggered my Parental Revenge Mode. If you punt my baby, the last half of this comic ends vastly different for you, lol. First, I’d kick your dog in the face. Then I’d tie you up in the basement in a plastic barrel, burn your clothes slowly off with a small blowtorch, ensuring your precious nerve endings still work. I’d slather your painfully scorched nether region in peanut butter, and then add a ramp for some mouse and rat friends to join you. Maybe some ants, too. By the time you reach hell, you’d see it as an upgrade. XD
Also, baby skulls aren’t hard. They stay loosey goosey to accommodate being born and all the falls they take learning to be human. It’s around 1.5 – 2 years before they harden up. Punting puppies might be more your style. >=]
There is a fontanelle joke in here somewhere, but I’ll be damned if I can find it.
LOL, I had to look that term up. I just remember my wife and I being freaked out when our first child was born and her face was mashed in, and the doctor said to think of it like one of those Stretch Armstrong toys, where you twist it all around, and it slowly goes back to its original form, lol. It eventually did.
Hilarious. To be fair, your Brown’s comic was an accurate depiction of the last 4 months. I used to root for Cleveland because I felt sorry for their loyal and tortured fan base. Now, F them. Haslam is a cancer on my alma mater’s athletic department too.
I hope you don’t end up getting more use out of the Infant murder tag.
Didn’t notice that at first. Dave definitely got even darker than usual this week.
Seems an inaccurate tag. The babby is only *probably* dead. (Although it being Dave’s story I guess he’d know.)
When I said I coffin cornered that baby
I meant it two ways
That’s too funny because I googled it to see if it was slang for death and nope, real nerdy flight joke. (RESPEK!) Totally didn’t pick up on the double entendre.
You’d kick a baby? I hope Satan takes his time fileting your ass, you son of a…
Coffin corner? NICE!
COFFIN kick, huh?
I love the Deathbulge reference.
The fifth panel reminds me of Lemony Fresh’s art style. RIP, Lemony, you were a great arrist and animator.
The last two panels do, too.
Finally, Snitsky’s time to shine
IT WASN’T HIS FAULT!
This week has been the most delicious week of Draw Play. Thank you Dave for feeding me my content, it was *****/5.
Imagine if Mayfield one day wins the Superb Owl MVP.
Can you please do one making fun of the Vikings for not winning a Super Bowl? We need your power!
Just let me grieve for my boi… They’ve finally broken me…
This just in: The Browns are interested in signing Draw Play Dave to bring new life into their special teams. They are in way whatsoever concerned about any of his potential legal problems stemming from the baby kicking fiasco.