The Don’t Care Bear Gets A Divorce
Jay Cutler is getting a divorce!
Sometimes I wonder I’m doing Jay dirty by playing into the lazy jerk gag because it misrepresents a human being, who is a complicated individual with the same complexities as you or me. Then I watch him get a divorce and be called “unmotivated” by his own wife and I stop worrying about that. Sometimes it’s just easier to laugh at life imitating art.
From what I watched of their television show, I’m surprised it lasted as long as it did. You can’t trust reality TV to be true to anything but it seemed pretty obvious that she was very ambitious and had to be busy all the time and he was more laid back. That dynamic can work in a relationship, but it depends on a number of other factors in the relationship working in tandem. Most of the time, at least in my experience (the anecdotal evidence caveat, folks!), that tends to end badly because the two ideals are simply not that compatible long-term. Whelp.
If you get nothing else from this stupid celebrity drama, at least take away the fact that Martin Lawrence was indeed born in Germany, so that’s a thing that’s true. Did you know that? You do now.
She is every GM that brought him in
This. A thousand times THIS!!!!!!!
Unmotivated is what every woman will call you when you tell them you want a divorce and neither one of you cheated on the other.
It comes with the territory because she can’t understand that her bitchiness is the reason why you’re leaving even if the other 99% of the time with her is great.
I get the feeling “Don’t Care Bear” just wanted a drama free life and she wasn’t it.
*I in no way know either of these two individuals and am completely speculating by using my own experiences to try to make sense of the situation.*
It’s easy to tell you’re not phased by the fact you don’t know them, as you managed to chuck a sexist generalisation in there for good measure.
…….Thanks?
Even if you’d managed to live through three actual divorces, that’s still only three people you’ve experienced. You’re really just going to assume that it’s entirely one person’s fault but they’re also too stupid to know that?
That’s sad, man. People are more complicated than that.
Yes they are.
“Unmotivated”?! Look at the bank account balance. He’s not lazy, he’s done. Okay, maybe he’s lazy too but if the bills are paid and you want for nothing then what’s wrong with adopting the “live and let live” sentiment?
She should be happy to just be a kept woman, right?
is he stopping her from doing her thing? not from what i can tell.
Says someone who never had him on their team. *cough*Wildcat at Wembley*cough*
I didn’t particularly enjoy the Don’t Care Dolphin experience but I don’t really begrudge him, not after the past few years watching my dad struggle with diabetes. Fuck, Tannehill was pissing blood behind that terrible O-line and he doesn’t have any underlying medical conditions (as far as we know). I don’t even want to imagine what playing all those years with the turnstiles the Bears put out instead of an OL and then capping it off in Miami did to Cutler.
I’m pretty sure if I won the lottery tomorrow I would be happy to retire to a life of leisure and maybe managing a charitable trust and my wife would go nuts from boredom. People are wired differently and some people don’t like to be idle.
So yeah, it’s perfectly reasonable that he’d be content to sit on however much of that $127M he managed to hold onto and she wouldn’t and that would lead to marital troubles. It doesn’t even mean either of them did anything wrong, just that once he was done working they realized they were incompatible.
Kind of expected her to start singing Grow For Me from Little Shop of Horrors for a second.
I don’t know why this bums me out as much as it does, never really cared about celebrities but this is somehow saddening news despite only ever knowing Cutler as a quarterback/meme. Weird.
It would be like hearing the Rivers family split and they each took as many kids as they could carry.
It might just be me, but I’m ridiculously happy that Cutler is back to being a Bear in the comic(the whole divorce thing is a different story of course, that’s just… mildly depressing I guess). Don’t Care Dolphin was funny at the time but it just didn’t have staying power, and I was bummed out when he became a human being in a later comic.
‘Don’t Care Bear’ just suits him somehow. I wish he’ll stay this way, even though I know that with his retirement, his appearances here will be rare. This might even be his last appearance, which is a loss for TDP lore and good humor.
jay cutler to the pats, you hear it here first
My favorite part is after the divorce she wanted Jay to give her $5 million to buy a mansion, to which Jay responded by freezing all of his bank accounts and telling Kristen to “get a job”
Considering the way she has tried to keep getting a spotlight (unintentionally or not), she’s starting to come off as a bit of a gold digger. “You’re lazy and unmotivated and you smoke too much. Give me money you obvisously didn’t earn (this is debatable obviously, Miami would clearly say he didn’t earn it) so that I can have a new mansion.”
I don’t think you can read anything into his wife calling him unmotivated during a divorce. That’s when people air out their frustrations and grievances with each other. If someone says something positive about the other during a divorce that’s one thing, you absolutely should read into that. But negative? Nah. Divorce is the phase in a relationship where highlighting the negative aspects of your ex is not only cathartic but actually beneficial and potentially profittable for you.
I’d be lazy and ummotivated if I made $120M+ and retired by 35. Game is won, just time to wait for the sweet embrace of death.
1) I love that you made her Anti-Vax Bear
2) I giggled when I saw the house, and then started flat-out laughing when I noticed the chimney
Smokin Jay Cutler will always be the funniest NFL meme ever.
From what I have seen of Cavillari’s reality show (more than I’d like to have but less than I’m embarrassed to admit), Jay Cutler Don’t Care Bear-ing in the middle of all of the standard reality show setups and overplayed drama was easily the most entertaining part of it. To the point where I wouldn’t renew the show without him if I was the network.