Free Agency is here! How did your team do this week?

I usually don’t pay attention to other teams outside major names so I welcome comments about your team below. Are you happy? Are you frustrated? Are you the Cowboys and didn’t do shit?

The major not Giants news I noticed:
-Wow, the guards got PAID this year. Lots of free agency guards and they all got big deals. Linemen are getting their dues, I like it.
-Justin Fields is still a Bear as of this writing, and the list of places to send him has gotten remarkably thin.
-Jameis Winston will be DeShaun Watson’s backup. The Browns…have a type. We might get a second rapist on the hydra.
-KIRK THE FALCON. Kirk Cousins, entering his late 30’s and coming off a mid-season Achilles tear, once again got paid the big bucks. Kirk belongs in the “Getting the bag” hall of fame.
-Baker Mayfield and Mike Evans run it back in Tampa
-Sam Darnold to the Vikings, lmao, hope they are drafting someone because that’s dire
-Derrick Henry to the Ravens. This is a fantastic move and I’m insanely jealous. He went to a team that already knows how to block for him.
-Josh Jacobs to the Packers for a big bag, which sends Aaron Jones to the Vikings, speed-running the “disgruntled Packers to Vikings” pipeline.
-Feels like the Bills lost a lot of people
-There is no goddamn point to a “legal” tampering period. It just moved the actual tampering that always happens up a bit. We’re not fooling anybody here.

So, Giants reaction: It started bad, but it got much better!

-Barkley to the Eagles: I want to save this for a comic next week because this became far more of a story than I expected and the general reaction was stupid. In case the comic gets overruled though, my thoughts are this in a nutshell: I expected Barkley to leave once it was clear he wasn’t his old self this past season. He’s lost a step with the injuries. I did not want him to go to the Eagles of all teams but I cannot begrudge the man his choice. They offered him a mega deal after we did not. I bear him no ill will as a person but I hope he sucks ass as a player. The Giants fan crybaby reaction to the news is a bunch of nonsense because he’s not betraying anybody and demanding he be some loyal boy to the team that didn’t offer him what he wanted is really pathetic. That said, Saquon handled the move poorly, lashing out on social media at Tiki Barber and taking almost a full week to actually say thank you to the Giants fans after everyone had already turned on him. He’s the enemy now, and it’s partially his own doing.
Xavier McKinney to the Packers: This one I was mad about. I knew Saquon was gone but I didn’t understand why we didn’t franchise X after that became a possibility. Obviously, the Packers paid a lot of money for the guy and I wish him…well get paid bruh fuck the Packers. This move however made significantly more sense when the big move happened later.
Jon Runyan Jr and Jermaine Eluemunor, Guard and Tackle: I love it. Yeah, Runyan was an overpay like all the guards, and Eluemunor is meh, but Eluemunor has already endeared himself to the fans about how happy he is to be here. If Evan Neal can finally improve with the new OL coach we poached from the Raiders (Where Eluemunor also came from) we might finally, FINALLY, have a functional offensive line this season. Also it is very funny we are now employing the son of the guy Michael Strahan tormented for a decade. If Strahan was Jon Runyan’s daddy, does this make Jr Strahan’s grandson?
Devin Singletary: Hey, had to replace Barkley with somebody. Singletary is fine.
BRIAN FUCKING BURNS BAYBEEEEE: What a surprise. Well, now it makes sense why Schoen didn’t throw money at an RB or a Safety. He instead threw all that money at a legitimate stud defensive end. Thats smart! DE is a premium position and now we have a D-line of Thibs, Lawrence, and Burns. That rules. I’m stoked. Better yet, while Burns obviously got paid a massive amount of money, he’s still young and the Giants only gave up a 2nd and a 5th for him, which is essentially what they got from Seattle for Leonard Williams last year. It’s also a much lower cost than the reported “multiple firsts” the Rams offered last year and were turned down on because the Panthers previous GM was a monumental idiot.
Drew Lock: Tyrod went to the Jets because he realized he has a very good chance of playing there once Rodgers dies/leaves football for a failed political campaign. We got Horse Cock Lock to replace him, and that’s fine. Lock is backup caliber but depending on how the draft goes might end up our starter anyway in what is going to be the “wait out the Danny Dimes contract” season.
Jalen Mills: He’s a safety to replace McKinney, I dunno anything about him, tell me how to feel Pats fans