“uh oh, Dave’s ranting about fantasy again”

Damn right I am. Fantasy is back and many drafts are happening right now which means these folks are coming back out of the woodwork from the offseason because now they have a reason to care again.

The Fantasy Fan is someone I’d imagine we all know many of. Many of us (NOT ME) are probably this guy to some extent these days. These guys portrayed here are worst of the lot. The ones who keep bringing it up apropos of nothing. Who take any play to mention to you how this is somehow related to their fantasy team. They spend half the game checking their phone for stats, and cheer at random moments when a player on their team does a thing. Then they tell you what that thing is and why it’s a big deal, even when you didn’t ask. They even sometimes try to get someone to change the channel so they can see a meaningless game that has a player on their team involved, even if that game they want to see is a horrible blowout. This is worse than murder and deserves the death penalty. Thankfully few people are this bad, but the fact that they even exist in the first place is a stain on the human race.

I’m honestly pretty tolerant of the Fantasy Fan in real life. Most of the people I hang with during games are big fantasy players and if they enjoy it, good for them. It’s not my thing, and I recognize I’m in the minority here. There comes a point though when people need to realize that No one gives a shit about your fantasy team. If the person you are talking to is not in your league, or an avid fantasy player them self and is actively engaged with you, please. Shut up. Football is a wonderful game with so much going on and so many topics worth discussion.

Example discussion topics!
-Rookies on your team, performances
-Strategy and expectations of your team
-trash talk
-Why are these refs so bad
-Why is Roger Goodell a terrible person
-London is such a bad idea
-Which game is the most interesting
-Who the best coach is
-how much Joe Buck totally sucks
-Who is the best RB/QB/WR/Defense in the NFL and why your friend is totally wrong
-Past glorys
-Past pains
-funny football related anecdotes
-That stupid comic you read online drawn by the guy who hates fantasy football
-Why your QB is the sexiest
-Johnny Manziel!
-which fans are the worst? Best? Do Titans fans exist?
-Jesus 12th man Seattle fans have gone so far up their own butts haven’t they?
-Man when Brady retires the Patriots are gonna tank, amirite?

All of these topics plus so many more are all more interesting than your fantasy team.