David Johnson Finds A Friend In Injured Reserve
Ah the ol’ drinking hole of Injured Reserve. It’s been too long since we stopped by. The place is popping this season. Aaron Rodgers, David Johnson, Odell Beckham, Julian Edelman, Tannehill, Allen Robinson, Joe Thomas (RIP), JJ Watt again…and good old Carson Palmer is back.
Carson Palmer needs to just go away. Just retire. The old fart has nothing left but bones of probable osteoporosis. He had his final swing in 2015 and missed it. He went total Jake Delhomme against the Panthers and hasn’t been good since.
Quick aside: what is it with the Cardinals and old QB playoff crapfests? The Cardinals get old fart Warner on his final run, and Jake Delhomme comes in also on his final good run and then “Pulls a Jake Delhomme” and the Panthers get destroyed in the playoffs against the Cards. Then, in 2015, Carson Palmer, an old fart on his final run, goes against the Panthers in the playoffs, and pulls a Jake Delhomme. It was like a weird reverse justice. Also the Cardinals played Ryan Lindley in a playoff game once. Against the Panthers, who were 7-8-1. These two teams need to meet in the playoffs more often because really funny things happen.
Anyway Palmer should hang ’em up. He’s super old and frail and I think 90% of fans would have pointed to him as a prime candidate for “turning into a pink mist after a hit” by week 10. I think Palmer, like Rodgers, is capable of coming back by season’s end, but unlike the Packers it probably won’t be worth trying. The Cards are old and Larry “Best Butt in Football” Fitzgerald can’t carry Drew Stanton (or god forbid Blaine Gabbert) to success. Hang it up now, see if Bruce “look at my dumb hat” Arians can salvage something from what’s left next season provided he doesn’t have a heart attack and die. I mean, David Johnson will be back. That’s something to work with.
Aaron Rodgers would totally be good at darts and be smug about it.
Joe Thomas is dead
“The Factory took him too, *insert crying here!” – The entire state of Ohio
It’s blasphemous to refer to him by his full name. He is Joesus. Or if you prefer, Joeddha (aka Joeddartha Gauthomas) or Joedin the All-Father.
Can we please put Cutler in here as soon as possible? Moore was terrible on Thursday night, but I don’t want that lump of pure suck back on the field.
Dating back to Marino, Miami has sucked against the Ravens.
We started off well, but Baltimore have a 9-6 series lead now. Ironically the only times I can remember beating them of recent times were 2015, under *yawn* Joe Philbzzzzzzzz…..
*snrk* *snort* sorry about that… where was I… oh yeah –
…and 2007, when we were REALLY crap, with Cleo Lemon who was… well, you get the idea.
Cmon you do an IR without good ol’ smoking jay?
Cutler isn’t really going to miss much time, this bar is for long term hangouts
He could show up only long enough to set the place on fire.
He’s good at that.
I missed Chad Pennington. The guy was basically Mr. Glass playing football.
Chad Penn-ing-ton is a good quart-er-back. He’s a thrower not a passer. But I don’t give a damn about the Jets. Suzy, I want to kiss you.
“Injured Reserve” is by far my favourite feature. I smiled when I saw the image start to load. I was not disappointed.
And Darren Sproles, and Jason Peters.. although Sproles is probably sitting at the bar in the Hall of Fame waiting room.
Peters might be too. A 35 year old All-Pro tackle in a walk year that suffers a double cruciate ligament tear is probably ready to bow out.
I want the Halloween comic to involve some kind of kinky flag fetish with Joe Buck. Like maybe a wet dream where a flag is thrown after a one-handed touchdown grab. Or maybe his wife wearing a Moss jersey mooning Joe, while he screams “YOU DISGUSTING BITCH!”
JOE BUCK: Welcome to the top of the 47th
[Sun rises]
[Sun keeps getting bigger]
BUCK: yes
[World engulfed by flames]
BUCK: oh god yes
You forgot the Cardinals got Dave Brown’s final years. Come on, Dave, you’re a Giants fan and probably old enough to remember that one! 😉