I take full responsibility for the sudden and surprising news that Colin Cowherd is leaving ESPN. Less than a month after my comic, he’s gone. I love it. Yup, totally me. I shamed him into leaving. I am a god. Tell me readers, who shall I remove next?

In less joking terms hahaha F**k Yes he’s gone, eat it Cowherd you overpaid windbag. If you say your name fast it sounds like Coward and that’s what you are you big ‘ol bum who won’t argue with callers and just cuts them off. Also your name isn’t Chet but you look like someone who would be named Chet, and I’ve never met a Chet who isn’t a dick, so I’m giving you honorary membership in the Chet hall of fame for dicks.

Okay okay in serious terms what’s going on at ESPN? In the past few months they’ve cut Bill Simmons, Keith Olbermann and now Cowherd is leaving. I feel like I’m forgetting someone else. ESPN is doing some gutting on popular people. I’m eagerly anticipating a departure with Stephen A. Smith because it seems like he’s gotten in trouble with the network a few times this past year just like Simmons. Do it, ESPN. Cut him. Send him on his way so he can go groupie with Floyd Mayweather. Anyway I hope this leads to more Bomani Jones, because I love Bomani Jones.

Cowherd is apparently headed to Fox Sports, which is fine by me because I don’t go near Fox Sports outside game broadcasts. If he ends up on camera for pre-game I’ll still miss it. Go there and stay, Cowherd. Stay in your little corner where you can preach to your dumb fanbase and everyone else doesn’t have to deal with you through osmosis. You bum. I hate you so much.