Blame It On The Jusz Ya Ya EE
The stupidest drama of the NFL season has officially come to a close as of a couple days ago. In case you missed it: Kyle Juszczyk, 49ers Tight End and Guy with a name you have to look up every time to spell it correctly, celebrated a touchdown by pretending to drink a big glass of…something. The NFL interpreted the move as drinking a beer and fined him.
Juszczyk claims it was juice that he was pretending to drink, a reference to his nickname “juice”, itself a reference to his actual name. Which is dumb because his name is pronounced Youz Chick, it doesn’t sound like “Juice” at all. I’m not sure I totally buy the juice explanation, he just holds up a pretend glass. That glass could have held anything. He could have been drinking his own pee for all we know. Maybe he’s a real sicko. Frankly it doesn’t matter. The NFL fining him for drinking a fake beer is a joke to begin with.
And for once the NFL seems to realize how stupid they are after the NFLPA told them to kick rocks. The idea of fining a player for pretending to drink a beer when they have beer sponsors all over the place is ridiculous. People in the stands are drinking beer. People at home are drinking beer. Every ad break is a gambling ad, an insurance ad, and beer ads. All of this is done in front of children. Nobody actually cares. Fining Juszczyk for this is pointless hypocrisy. The NFL announced they will not do this moving forward. Thank goodness for the smallest victories.
Now if we can convince these dopes that there is nothing wrong with celebrating with finger guns before we cut to military recruitment ads.
“Every ad break is a gambling ad, an insurance ad, and beer ads.”
Hey! Don’t forget about the medicine ads that makes you realize that you’re slowly but inexorably approaching the age where all of those ads will actually be directed at you!
Will be?
*sigh*
I buy that his nickname is “Juice” because it’s easy to imagine a scenario back in his high school or college days where a teammate tried to read his name and got through the “Jusz”(sounding the “J” as English speakers do), saw the “zczyk” and said to himself “eff all that”. “Good play Juice”.
Fully Agreed. Kids are an exceptionally uncreative lot, and if you just gave me his name with no other context and said what do you think his nickname was in school, I would immediately assume Juice. I knew a guy in college whose name was spelled Cwiklinski. People called him Ski. The dude did not ever – not even once – in his life put on a pair of skis. Not water skiing, not mountain skiing, not even cross country skiing. And yet…
Celebrating a sports victory with beer?! That’s hardly the image we want for the Milwaukee Brewers, Coors Field, and Busch Stadium!
I still have to look up “Belichick” to spell it right