It’s been a while since I flaunted my official government-issued Tom Brady Hater card. We can’t let him go into his new era without some parting shots.

Is Tom THE GOAT? Or is Tom merely multiple HOF QBs? This is a question worthy of thought. It is often said that Tom Brady’s early days did not quite reflect the QB he would become. Tom was a game manager, especially in 2001. Many an argument has been made that early 2000’s Tom was not THE GOAT, and the Goat version of Tom wouldn’t show up till maybe 2006, 2004 at the absolute earliest. Few ranked Tommy amongst the best QBs of all time in those early days. Was he successful? Sure. HOFer? yeah, winning 3 rings is just kind of a guarantee. But those Belichick teams were stacked to the brim (especially on defense) and didn’t require Tom to do as much.

In the video game SOMA (a classic), the main character is a rebooted consciousness of a man who got a brain scan long ago, now in a robot body. The game tackles the difficulty of understanding if he is the same man. In Star Trek fandom, there is often debate on whether or not you remain the same man on the other end of a transport, since the transporter breaks down your molecules. Does it then deliver a copy of you or the actual you? What makes you you? Is it your consciousness? Is that what a soul is? Are we essentially just biological computers transferring data between constant updates?

Tom didn’t win a Super Bowl between 2004 and 2013. Almost a full decade. He went to a couple, sure, but lost both of them to Giants teams that routinely get picked as some of the worst Super Bowl winning teams of all time. They say that every cell in your body is replaced within a 7 year span. No matter how you shake it, there is a very real possibility the Tom Brady that beat the Rams, Panthers, and Eagles is not the same biological man who beat the Seahawks, Falcons, Rams, and Chiefs. Hell, he may have barely been the same man that beat the Seahawks by the time he beat the Chiefs. He is not that same man now.

That’s just natural biological aging. Now take into account all the surgery he’s had done. Yes, he’s absolutely had work done, and if you believe otherwise, I have an NFT of a bridge to sell you. Tom may remember his early years, but I can copy my old pictures to as many hard drives as I want, the original file is long gone.

Joe Montana won his 4 rings in a span of 9 years, so even if we split Brady into multiple Brady’s, I must concede he remains the GOAT. But he is actually just multiple smaller goats.

Did anyone else watch The Roast of Tom Brady on Netflix last Sunday? I didn’t watch it live and wasn’t planning on watching it but then I heard Drew Bledsoe and Belichick had sets so I put it on in the background while I was working. It was…fine. If you enjoyed all the old Comedy Central Roasts you’ll probably enjoy it.