The Saints had a tough choice. Sell out for the alpha predator, or settle for the cheap beta predator? Well, they are stuck with the beta predator once more.

Honestly Jameis staying in New Orleans makes sense. Once they lost out on Watson it basically becomes rolling with Taysom (pretend you hear me snorting in amusement here) trading for Jimmy, trading for Baker, or re-signing Jameis. Jameis already knows the team, and he has basically as high an upside as the other two. Plus, he’s already beaten out Taysom for the job once. He’s recovering from an ACL tear so the Saints are probably going to start with Taysom but this is Jameis’s team to lose. Unless of course, Taysom unlocks his true potential and also becomes an alpha sexual predator. The man is a true swiss army knife.

The real team we should feel sorry for is the Falcons. They sold out for the big predator and lost, didn’t get the second predator, and signed the most wholesome QB on the planet. How can you win games with Marcus Mariota? You can’t. He’s a good person. It’ll never work. He doesn’t have that pure rapist instinct.

I am dead inside