If you’ve been following training camp you’ve probably been made aware of the Guardian Caps that players have been wearing. They look…stupid. They look like someone unlocked big-head mode. They look like someone tried to soundproof a wall and then glued that wall to the side of a helmet.

Thing is, apparently they kinda work. Will we be seeing them in games? Not likely. For one thing, they are huge. They also cover up the all-important branding logos. Practice isn’t ever truly full speed either so keeping that bulky thing on your head for 3 hours might cause neck issues. That’s the biggest problem with helmet safety tech right now. Helmets are getting bigger to accommodate player safety but you can only go so big and padded before the structure of the thing is its own can of worms. The league needs to figure this shit out. My guess is that we start getting more variation and custom helmet types, depending on player needs or even position. QBs could probably have extra protection and bulk because they are largely defenseless when hit. Lineman could use anything to minimize subconcussions and prevent facemasks. Frankly I think it’s weird we haven’t advanced facemask tech more. Not letting fingers find a latch point would reduce facemasks by itself.

But if you ever google the history of football helmets it’s amazing how far we’ve come. Look at this fuckin thing. I feel like I got a concussion just imagining putting that on my head and hitting another person. It’s like I took my trusty old stovetop pot and wore it.

I’ve spoken about the subject of helmets before in regards to design choices and how modern helmets honestly need to be re-thought because they have too many angles and curves and weirdness going on. Look at the “throwback” Lions helmet we get this year. The logos have never looked more like a sticker was just slapped on a surface not shaped to handle it. As much as I realize we have to move on and find something safer, I really do miss the helmets of the past era. Helmets looked the best when they were just round and smooth and the logo sticker blended perfectly, like it was painted on. Helmets will never look this good again.

Also, please kick me next time I have the great idea to draw football helmets en-masse. Football helmets are the most annoying things to draw in the world. So many goddamn curves and weird lines and it never looks right.