I’m bored of watching Rich Eisen run the 40. I know he does it for charity and it raises a lot of great money for a good cause. But he’s clearly more or less never really going to get much better than 6 seconds or so and it isn’t as funny anymore to sync up his dash with the players. We’ve seen it.

So, Mr. Eisen, if you by some miracle read this, I propose taking your Rich Rally to the logical next step. The Rich Eisen Combine. When the combine winds down, you do your annual sprint, but you go even further. Get completely into it. Take the entire journey of an NFL prospect. You can make a full hour special for NFL network with this idea. Let people make bets on your performance at each exercise, and all proceeds go to charity. You should do the entire thing in your full suit or go completely reverse and wear a custom leotard like the players. Does anyone want to see that? Probably not, but it would be hilarious and you could get sponsors on it and make it part of the fun. Also, I want to see it. I’d respect it.

I want to see twitter trending with #AllEyesOnEisenCombine. I want to see the amazing graphics the team will develop for the different segments. I want to see the outrage over your hand size. I want to see the Rich 3 cone drill. I absolutely want to see the broad jump and vertical jump. I bet you’d actually do okay at the bench press, I’m sure you work out in some way to stay in TV shape. You look great, btw, keep doing it the workouts are working for ya.

Best of all, we could get a farcical version of the one thing none of us viewers ever get to see: the interviews. I want team staff members to make cameos and as you increasingly stupid questions that you are not prepared for. Imagine the comedy we could get out of genuine flustered Rich Eisen reactions to Jon Gruden asking him if he puts peanut butter or jelly on the bread first.

I never watch tv anymore, but I would tune in for this. I’d gladly share the clips on social media. In fact, I’ll be your hypeman. If you do this Mr Eisen, please credit me and hire me to make this the hilarious show it deserves to be. Hell, if it proves successful, we could even start getting other analysts on the network involved. Contact ESPN and get Scott van pelt to race you. Stephen A Smith to try and outjump you. Nothing is more charming and humanizing than seeing our favorite TV personalities bumbling around at stuff almost all of us would be bad at.

I just want our lives to be a little bit Richer.