Rich Eisen is pretty much the best part of NFL network. His bad jokes are soothing and comforting on a hard day, especially after a loss.  Without him I probably wouldn’t watch it because then it would just be “former players trying to be cooler than Deion Sanders” and no one has more swag than Deion Sanders, a man with so much personality I can only tolerate him in small doses. Rich balances that out by being gloriously square and grounded.  Every year for the Combine he runs the 40 yard dash and then the other analysts mock him for a while. Poor Rich does it in a suit, he’s at such a disadvantage.

If you ever read this Rich, I want you to know you are awesome and give hope to punters/slow white dorks everywhere.