Kaepernick the Weatherman
So Colin Kaepernick got some advice from a #brand manager and decided that his offseason theme this year would be “storms coming” but with his number 7 instead of the S in storm. So instead of reading Stormscoming we read 7tormscoming, which makes me want to pronounce it as if I’m Sloth from The Goonies (ThorrmsComing You Guyths!). It’s incredibly dumb, but then again so are most athlete #brand attempts.
Then he made it all worth it with a hilarious whoospie on Wednesday. He tweeted out a picture of the flooding in Houston and said “Told you, Houston, 7torms coming!” And then America got it’s huge internet shaming boner for the day as everyone decided to rag on the ill thought out and insensitive tweet. Myself included of course! I had fun with this one. He took it down, then issued an apology, and we all laughed. Good times were had. I don’t hate him for the tweet. I can almost guarantee he probably woke up, casually glanced at a news story that mentioned flooding in Houston, and decided to make it about his #brand, completely oblivious to how serious the flooding actually was. I’ll chalk it up to an honest “didn’t think it out” moment. We all have them. I will say it’s kinda bad for him to take a picture of flooding and make it about yourself in the first place, regardless of how serious he knew it was. That’s a questionable decision when you are a professional athlete trying to keep a certain image no matter how you slice it. I’ve always been a big defender of Kaep because he gets too much irrational hate for how he looks, but when you do really dumb things like this it that would be easy to avoid it really doesn’t help your image.
“I’ve always been a big defender of Kaep because he gets too much irrational hate for how he looks…”
Can we please drop the “People only hate him because he’s biracial and/or has tattoo sleeves” angle already? There are certainly racist idiots who think that any black person – even a half-black person – shouldn’t be playing quarterback, and there are certainly old idiots who think his tattoos make him a bad role model, but if you look at his numbers and watch his game tape, not only does he not look like a franchise quarterback even when you make caveats since running likely always will be part of his game, but his mental game and clock management has at best been slow developing, and at worst it’s been stagnant.
In the words of Bill Parcells, clock, clock, clock. Don’t you ever lose track of that clock. Aaron Rodgers doesn’t need timeouts called on a regular basis to save him from a delay-of-game penalty. Hell, neither do good-not-great guys like Romo, Rivers, Flacco, and Eli. Kaepernick still had Harbaugh saving him in his fourth year. There is no excuse for a veteran quarterback making that kind of money not to be able to manage the play clock. More than that, if he’s reading things at the line, he’s not reading them right. What makes the great quarterbacks great is the ability to read the defense, get the right play in quickly and decisively, and then execute it. Kaep doesn’t read the defense how you expect a now-fifth year pro to, he doesn’t get the play in quickly or decisively as indicated by his Andy Reid-level clock management, and he often doesn’t execute it very well if it’s not an option play or a slant over the middle.
Speaking of failure to execute, there is also not an excuse for his accuracy issues. It’s 3:30 AM so I don’t have charts, but there are numerous graphs and stats from folks like PFF and SBNation’s Niners blog to back me up. Over the middle short to intermediate his accuracy is acceptable, but on throws to the outside, even short throws, and especially deep balls, Kaep’s accuracy north of the line of scrimmage is shocking for a guy being touted as a franchise cornerstone. These were acceptable issues when he was a second-year player starting only because of injury, but he’s going into his fifth year, there’s no excuse if he’s not drastically more accurate this coming season.
Then there’s the ever-present elephant in the room: His playstyle. Scramblers last. Runners do not. Apart from Steve Young, Randall Cunningham, and Steve McNair, I can’t think of any quarterbacks I would call runners who surpassed the low standard set by Mike Vick, in no small part because all of them got hurt. It’s a dangerous, injury-prone style, and it’s my biggest fear watching Russell Wilson and Cam Newton. Similarly, I’m afraid for Kaepernick’s future because of it. He’ll be 28 by the end of the season, within a year or two, his speed will still be there, but it’ll start fading, and he can only take so many hits before something gives, especially in a division as violent as the NFC West. Running quarterbacks are ticking time bombs, and unlike Cam and Russell, Kaepernick hasn’t shown an ability to function without his legs.
I’m not saying that he’s a complete bum or that there aren’t stupid close-minded people, but a lot of the hate he gets isn’t irrational, it’s factual. The guy has not shown the signs you want to see from an elite quarterback, or even a good-not-great quarterback. All he has is that one Superbowl run, beyond that he’s been unremarkable aside from a handful of games.
Good points, but you forget the Worst Thing Ever:
He makes a play with his *legs*, and then kisses his *bicep*! Gaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Woah man, struck a nerve. I wasn’t defending his skills as a QB, just him as a person, maybe I could have been more clear on that. He’s not a very good QB but he’s not nearly the thug asshole so many people seem to think he is (it’s a larger group than you think)
Fair enough. Maybe it’s because I’m on the east coast, far away from the Niners and their rivals – especially with Jimbaugh canned so now the Ravens fans that liked the Harbro rivalry don’t care – so Kaep and co. aren’t really topics of discussion unless it hits national news.
And yeah, it’s a bit of a nerve, mostly because of my ex-boss. For reasons I don’t understand, in spite of being a Chiefs fan and not going to college anywhere near Nevada, he had the biggest mancrush I have ever seen on Kaepernick. He would say he was the most talented quarterback in the league, brush off every single issue I ever raised about his game management as “young nerves” in spite of not improving and younger QBs being better, handwaved concerns about him getting hurt running because “he’s built like a tank so he’ll be fine” even though his legs and knees are ridiculously spindly, etc., etc. The closest the guy ever came to saying something legitimately bad about him was “He’s doesn’t understand that Crabtree and Davis and the other receivers aren’t as talented as he is, so he expects them to do things they can’t, which is why they can’t get an offense going.” He also had a hilarious habit of pulling the race card with most people who criticized him. I was able to get away with it because, as indicated, I’m the kind of asshole who has 600 sources for every other conjunction he uses, but everyone else got a leery accusation of being bigoted against him, including one time where he accused a black coworker of being racist against him because he’s not 100% black.
So yeah, admittedly, that is a bit of a sore spot and I probably am a bit biased because of that ex-boss. Sorry about going off like that.
You really are the clarificator
You really are the clarificator
I have to simply say this is part for the course for Kaepernick. His social media habits have been questionable, just like the decisions he makes from the pocket. Any expecting Kaepernick to make sound decisions is delusional.
It’s always sunny in 7exy Rexy.
I wished I lived in 7exy Rexy, Arizona.
Why isn’t the second ‘S’ a ‘7’?
That begs the question: Why does Kaep make the first ‘s’ a ‘7’? It makes no sense!
For Dave’s girlfriend: I told you Tampa and Stamkos would beat your Rangers and St. Louis.
Go Tampa Bay 7torm
Why is there a cold front coming in from the tropics?
I’m surprised Kaep didn’t have a Dolphins hat
Dave, is there any way you can run a script to turn every S in the comments section into the number seven every Sunday since it’s the seventh day of the week?
I should then change my profile to “Dan Marino’7 7uper Bowl Ring”
That’7 a 7tupid idea…
I had 7 long before this…