Jermaine Kearse Goes To The Jets
Man this past week or two has been insane with everything that’s happened. Tons of players moved. WHERE WAS ALL THIS DURING THE DULL MONTHS, NFL. WHY COULDN’T YOU TRADE JERMAINE KEARSE FOR SHELDON RICHARDSON IN JULY SO I WASN’T MAKING STUFF LIKE THIS.
Anyway yeah, no way I’m getting to all the trades that have happened, so much has occurred and football is for real backsies this very week. So I’ll probably do a Brock joke. Maybe an Aguayo joke. We’ll see what happens.
Sheldon Richardson to the Seahawks for Jermaine Kearse was probably the biggest news of last week. At first glance it looks like the Seahawks fleeced the Jets. Kearse is okay, but Richardson is a massive talent and is going to bolster a great defense. Then you remember that Richardson was incredibly disgruntled in New York (Gee who wouldn’t want to play for a team openly tanking) and Kearse was one of Russell’s few decent receiving options and your opinion might change from “The Seahawks fleeced the Jets” to “Oh right, the Jets are fleecing themselves”.
Richardson will be happy in Seattle and play well. If he can’t be happy in Seattle on a defense like that under a players coach, then he’s just a diva troublemaker and his career is going to be him getting traded around after he pisses off management enough. Kearse is the victim here. The poor soul who is probably best known for making a crazy SB catch no one remembers because of the INT two plays later is now doomed to catch passes from the likes of Christian Goddamn Hackenberg. Christian is so bad he makes other Christians want to be atheists.
Off-topic, but I’m pumped about the IT remake and IT is my favorite book of all time. Outside one little bit near the end (That everyone who has read it knows about and hates) I think it’s perfect. I’m a massive Stephen King nut and although I don’t have a chance to read much these days I still make time to read his books on airplane rides. The original film with Tim Curry is kind of shit (outside Tim Curry who is still the best) so I hope this new movie does a better job. It certainly looks the part.
Doug Baldwin is the one who pooped the football, not Jermaine Kearse.
Dang, early Halloween strip, Dave? That’s creepy as heck, and the scratch marks on the pavement somehow make it even more morbid. At least it’s nice to see that Bowles has fully embraced his tanking fate since this strip: http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/the-jets-tank-it/
Anyway…
Remember you said ages ago that Deflategate was the gift that keeps on giving? It looks like we have another situation just like that with Zeke here. The whole case is a mess with excluded investigators, excluded witnesses, more Lucky Whitehead(wut? but true!)…
Looks like we’re in for the long haul here.
But I guess that’s gotta wait until some future date(and the same for the Brock-kicked-from-Browns-to-Broncos news, Aguayo news, etc. Maybe. Who knows), because on Thursday, for your next comic…
FOOTBALL IS BACK WOOOOOO
I laughed heartily at this. Fantastic strip!
I disagree about the fleecing; my first instinct was “The Seahawks overpaid.” A second-round pick is valuable currency and Richardson has earned a reputation in NY as locker room cancer. As you said, he’s likely to be less disgruntled (more gruntled?) in SEA, but the fighting and suspensions may not be left behind.
The Seahawks will get a third round comp pick back for Richardson when he leaves in free agency, so they didn’t pay as high a price as you think.
Which bit at the end? (Out of morbid curiosity, also being a big fan of the book) I can think of several oddities but curious to see which you meant.
Come on man, you have to know which part, there is nothing as uncomfortable to read like that one scene with the kids
Haven’t read it in awhile. You talking about the bit where they do the bedside shuffle?
I think he is talking about the underage sewer orgy
There’s a kid orgy… Stephen King will put every idea that enters his mind in a book. For instance, Pet Semetery has a whole five page passage about Carl Yasterzemski.
I think the kid orgy was more a product of King’s then substance abuse problems than anything; the dude was so whacked out on coke and booze that he doesn’t remember writing Cujo at all. It’d probably explain the
Yasterzemski passage as well, Pet Semetery was written around this time.
Oh, okay – when I thought ‘the end’ I was thinking story-chronologically, as in everything in 1985 around when they fought it as adults. I wasn’t thinking about that (though yeah, it is near the end of the book.)
Is “no offense” a pun because they’ll literally have no offense?
You could say Jermaine was Cursed.
The Jets didn’t get fleeced. Richardson wasn’t in their plans and he was a cancer, not to mention the stupid off-field stuff like that time he was caught racing with a loaded gun and a 12-year-old in the car. Meanwhile a second round pick is valuable, or would be if the Jets were any good at drafting, and Kearse immediately becomes their best player on offence. If they weren’t the Jets I’d actually start getting concerned that they’d be competitive in the wild card chase.
Or at least out of the top 10. Enjoy no 2018
They’ll definitely remain in the top 10, but they were never going to be top 5 because they are the Jets (and even if they are Darnold will pull a Manning and go back to college). As I’m not a Jets fan, I will be sure to bask in the schadenfreude when the Jets remain craptacular the coming years.
This is among your most brutal strips. Oof.
I clicked the link in the comments. I know I shouldn’t have, but I clicked it and I regret it.
welp
there goes sleeping tonight. and for the rest of the week
Was that your idea or did someone actually get one of my emails?
My own
I don’t recall getting any emails recently, half the emails that get sent to me end up in spam since I have my sorting settings high thanks to a lot of actual spam
You got my email about the New Vegas Raiders, that made me happy
Darn, it’s still there tho!
So… The Jets are your pick to win the Super Bowl?
Jets slogan: Just End The Season!
I’m surprised I’m getting a chance to do this but, to Dave and all of you, I apologize for causing comment-cancer (not really sure what else to call it) for the second time (#aFreeaTheArena). I really hope I didn’t ruin the site (or at least the comment section) for any of you (and more importantly, Dave). Even if I don’t get to comment again, I at least hope that everyone else can (I didn’t see the ‘debate’ after someone perfectly said ‘I thought the worst thing was Taylor Swift’s song’) continue to comment because there was/is some actual, thoughtful insight on the NFL (Averin’s long read on the legal possibilities from Deflategate, for example), great jokes that add to the comic itself (just scroll up a little bit, the NFL shipping, puppy puns, etc.), and meeting new online friends (chat pals? IDK).
I should have realized what I could do to the comment section. Even i don’t get banned, I’m not going to be posting anymore (other than ‘lol’ and maybe the arena links, or If someone ) as to make sure I don’t overreact to a joke that went over my head/got offended by a damn joke (I need thicker skin).
Again, I’m sorry to Dave (no, he didn’t ask me to do this) and everyone else here
Targettoad, signing out
You’re fine and there were plenty of other people who contributed to the toxicity. It was just getting gross and nothing positive was coming out of it so I shut discussion down for that comic because it was a comic about football rescuing us from that exact shit. No bans, nothing ridiculous like that.
Well thank you
Quite a check down last night, didn’t see that one coming.
Damn it Patriots!!!