The Draw Play

I remember my first thought when we got the first drop of this scandal. “The Colts are accusing the Pats of deflated balls, haha are you serious, what sore losers, this is a non story” I don’t think I ever ended up being so wrong. 7 months. 7 goddamn months of this and it’s technically not over yet (It’s over, Goodell isn’t winning his appeal of the appeal, the Patriots won). I was happy to be wrong of course, absurdly huge stories about stupid stuff like this are the lifeblood of anyone who makes fun of things for a living. Makes the job easy. You dream of material this juicy in my position. Obviously there were a few Pats fans unhappy with the frequency of the jokes but from an outsider POV this was a comedy goldmine and I’m not gonna apologize for that. That said, it dragged on at least two months too long and I’m glad it’s finally over.

Last deflategate comic I made (little over a month or so ago) I said I still thought Brady was probably guilty but I wanted him to win the case anyway. As it dragged on I’m happy Brady won. Yeah, we have to deal with smug Pats fans now but nothing good comes without cost. It’s kind of unbelievable how badly Goodell handled this thing. He cost the league millions of dollars and tons of bad PR for this farce. If this leads to Goodell’s power getting stripped somewhat by the owners I consider that a win, because good lord Goodell is garbage. He could have probably given the Pats and Brady a small fine or suspended a draft pick right when it started and I doubt we never would have made it this far, instead he launches a giant investigation that comes up with circumstantial evidence which eventually got picked apart anyway, and now it’s hard even for me to think Brady’s guilty. If I was at gunpoint right now needing to answer, I’d probably say not guilty. If Brady ever was guilty, Goodell screwed up his handling of this thing so badly so early in the process that it doesn’t even matter. I honestly feel dumb for even giving Goodell any benefit of the doubt, but whatever dingleberry of credibility he had dangling from his ass has finally fallen into the toilet and flushed.

He screwed up Bountygate. He completely mismanaged the Ray Rice fiasco. Now this. Goodell is a complete joke. The judge slamming Goodell for his bogus justice system was immensely satisfying, because now we have a legal document version of a mic drop on him. The fact that he is filing an appeal of the appeal decision is so pathetic, just so, so so pathetic. My favorite part was him mentioning protecting the integrity of the game, when he just lost millions of dollars and 7 months of everyone’s time going full bore over some deflated balls, making a complete joke of the shield he represents. I love it. I almost don’t want him to go away because he’s so bad that he keeps giving me material. On the other hand, I hope he does, because he’s no fun to draw whatsoever. He’s a big ugly lumpy man with no definition and no matter how I try he never looks right.

So enjoy it Pats fans. You won. You were probably right the whole time. Brady is freed. As penance, here is a picture I made for a Pats fan.

Also Brady is going to go Super Sayian on the Steelers on Thursday and it’s going to be hilarious.

Also also the Giants really need safety help and Pollard doesn’t have a team. It makes so much sense Jerry, do it. Fulfill the Prophesy.

Also also also I hope the Falcons burn in hell