Dan Orlovsky Through The Years
Since I’m not a regular watcher of ESPN I was quite surprised when sometime last year I saw a video clip of a segment and it featured Dan Orlovsky as a talking head. Not as the guest, but as the employed member of the show. My thought process of seeing him: “wait, Dan Orlovsky? The guy who ran out the back of the endzone?”
Yes! It was him. The guy who ran out the back of the endzone. The Lions backup QB, who in a top 10 moment of dumbassery, just ran out of the back of the endzone trying to roll out of the pocket. He gave the Vikings a safety and the moment has essentially become the defining image of the winless ’08 Lions. It was probably the de-facto “idiot QB” moment in NFL history until Mark Sanchez ran into a butt. I especially love how hard Jared Allen is laughing in the photo. This is the only moment Dan Orlovsky did anything of note in his entire career and if you recognized his name, this is why. I hope he’s made peace with the fact that this is his NFL legacy.
Well apparently somewhere down the line he managed to worm his way into ESPN as an analyst so good for him. Maybe if he’s good enough he can be remembered for something other than one of the dumbest plays in existence. When I found out he was now a thing, I started paying slight attention to the show he was on, and it seems like he’s just another talking head there to spout some takes with spice. Just the latest guy to go “this team sucks!” or “this sucky team is good though!” to get that sweet sweet engagement. Maybe I should pivot to only hot takes, seems lucrative.
His most delightful controversial take of note was calling Damian Lillard a spoiled and entitled brat. If you don’t follow the NBA or know anything about Damian Lillard, he’s arguably the most genuine human being in the entire league who has 100% earned all of his accolades and praise. One of the least entitled and spoiled superstars I’ve ever seen. The whole thing exposed one of two facts: either Dan Orlovsky doesn’t follow the NBA and know Dame’s story so he just made rude assumptions about his character…or he does know Dame is good and woke up that morning choosing violence for the engagement because he knew Dame would respond. Or he did it because ESPN told him to. None of these paint him sympathetically. Dan was rightfully roasted for it and his backpedaling after Dame called him out was fast enough to win the Tour de France.
As a quick side note since I already brought him up, I met Dame in the wild once and he shook my hand. It was on a side street near the Portland waterfront park on the 4th of July blues festival. I said hey when I realized it was him and he shook my hand and said “hey man nice to meet you”. Two minutes later he was up on the festival stage giving a short speech concerning his involvement with the Special Olympics. This is the guy Orlovsky called spoiled and entitled because he wanted to rest his body for some games.
NFL fans might remember Dan’s second-biggest hit when he questioned Justin Field’s work ethic before the draft. Cue the racial discussion firestorm because Justin Fields is black, black QBs always get those kinds of critiques thrown at them, meanwhile, Zach Wilson and Mac Jones were flying up draft boards. In Dan’s defense, he claims he was just repeating what sources had told him, which might be true and the NFL is certainly full of racist old dipshits who would think that sorta stuff about Fields. It might have also come from residual effects of Ohio State’s most recent QB bust, Dwayne Haskins, a player who very much lacked work ethic once he reached the league. I’m willing to give Dan the benefit of the doubt on this one for fairness sake (because the alternative is Dan is officially #PROBLEMATIC instead of just dumb) but he deserves plenty of the heat that got thrown his way for how he said it. In both this and the Dame case he at least backpedaled and did a half-apology, which is more than you’d get from most analysts, but it was never a true full apology, so you could say he was playing it safety.
Anyway despite the fact that I just trashed him for several paragraphs highlighting his mistakes, he seems harmless. He does think Carson Wentz is still really good, which is just a shame. Not the hill I would choose to die on but I guess all analysts are required by law to pick one guy to love obsessively and one superstar to hate irrationally.
Up til the 3rd panel I was thinking the comic was about Dan Campbell and another of his crazy pressers, then the 4th made realize it was that Dan
Not that Detroit Dan, the other Detroit Dan.
Me too.
I as well
Lillard is wholesome enough to run an episode of Critical Role if ever Matt Mercer is ill.
Between Carson Wentz and Sam Darnold, I don’t know which meh-crap quarterback Dan will unabashedly stan til the end of time harder. Wentz is a safer bet because he’s actually had some success, but lack of any evidence of quality has never stopped a Darnold stan before.
While Wentz having an MVP season would be a stretch, I was under the impression that him having some kind of a comeback year isn’t really an out there prediction. Between being reunited with Frank Reich (widely thought to be the main reason for any success Wentz had in the past), a change in scenery and the AFC South being a weak division isn’t he expected to have decent enough numbers this year?
It’s pretty hit or miss. Some people think Wentz will have a huge bounce back year, others think he’s unfixable. I think he falls somewhere in between. He’ll be solid, but nowhere near the level the Colts need to become a true contender in the AFC. I think most can agree that the move wasn’t bad at all for Indianapolis though. It was a pretty low risk-high reward type deal so either way, Indy is set, though I’m guessing they’d prefer to get their franchise QB sooner rather than later.
i just want to add that Frank Reich gets a ridiculous amount of hype for being in the right place, right time during the Eagles superbowl run. Prior to that he was OC of the Chargers and got fired, rightfully for being terrible. This was the 3rd time he’d been fired for being part of a terrible coaching group, having been with the Colts during their 2-14 year and basically following Whisenhunt around.
People talk about him being this great QB whisperer, when in actually he is just sometimes good at his job, just like pretty much everyone else.
Maybe Wentz can rebuild his career in Indy like all the talking heads seem to think – he is certainly set up to succeed with a pretty good roster around him and a weak division, but he could just as easily crash and burn, for reasons that won’t be apparent until it happens.
Ya Wentz will do exceedingly well this year. Orlovsky is right. Wentz will win the MVP this year and the Super Bowl. BOOK IT.
While I’m not a fan of who he’s become lately on ESPN, Orlovsky got the job because he was doing good breakdowns of film on Twitter, and then that was his main role at ESPN at first. Seems he’s become another typical talking head there though, spewing nonsense opinions more than giving thoughtful analysis. Sure is a “good” thing ESPN has gotten written of those kinda guys like Trey Wingo or Bob Ley (and the actually entertaining ones like LeBatard or Kenny Maybe) to make way for more “hot take” guys like Orlovsky or hours of Stephen A screaming at my TV.
That seems like the usual career track these days. You are a fresh new face giving quality breakdowns somewhere minor, then ESPN snatches you up, gives you a better platform, and after a short period of time the machine has eaten your soul and you are just another diet Bayless
Sniped!
I know it’s only the 9th, but “his backpedaling after Dame called him out was fast enough to win the Tour de France” is the best quote of month for me. 😀
“you could say he was playing it safety” made my day.
In fairness to Dan Orlovsky, he is great when breaking down film. Everyone should watch him analyze QB film. Anything he says not concerning actual game footage is utter trash. Even moreso now that he is trying to rise in the ranks of talking heads, but he is legitimately good at that one thing.
Did we ever get that Rivers retirement comic? It just reminded me as he just got the good guy award.
Can we get a Jon Kitna comic next? Maybe a Charlie Whitehurst comic?
I’m kinda surprised. I figgered the the comments here would be riffin’ on the “one guy to love obsessively and one superstar to hate irrationally.”
I’ll start:
Love obsessively — BAKERRRRRRRRR!
Hate irrationally — Elway. (No wait, that’s totally rational for a no-talent horseface piece of human excrement.) I’ll go with Ray Lewis. (Dang, he’s kinda murdery, so that’s rational too.)
Okay, my irrational hate is John Kitna… or should i say, SHIT-na!? amirite?!