Buy Dave Taco Bell – By Spilly
The Gofundme is real. I was not going to half-ass this, Dave is going to eat Taco bell. Let’s make this happen.
But there’s something that Dave does not like.
And that thing is Taco Bell.
I dunno, maybe he has unresolved childhood drama from The Bell. Maybe a soft taco threw a stick in his bike spokes. Maybe the local neighborhood bully was named Gordita. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we free Dave from this emotional prison.
We need to buy Dave some Taco Bell.
Through your donations, we will fund a grand expedition (Dave will drive to Taco Bell using his own money) and 100% of these proceeds will go into the extreme costs of one Supreme Taco ($1.69). Should we reach that lofty funding level, any additional monies will fund exciting new side items such as One Of The Other Tacos, The Taco With A Different Cheese. The Cheesy Powder Cheese Cheese Bean Cheese Taco, or Churros.
I really wish I could spare any money because this is something I’d fund. What I will do though, since I’m guessing you’ll make your goal and then some, is suggest that one of the extra side items you get is the cheesy fiesta potatoes. Those bastards are tasty!
At approximately 1:37pm yesterday afternoon, the Oakland Raiders and the Cleveland Browns and the Oakland/Las Vegas Raiders agreed to a trade involving both starting QBs and 2017 first round draft picks. Here is what each team received:
The Browns: QB Derek Carr, OLB/DE Khalil Mack, the 24th overall pick in 2017 NFL Draft, a 2018 1st Round Pick, a 2018 2nd Roind Pick, and a 2019 1st Round Pick.
The Raiders: QB Brock Osweiler and the 1st overall Pick in the 2017 NFL Draft.
It is presumed that the Raiders will draft Washington WR John Ross with the first pick.
In other news, QB Kirk Cousins has agreed to a 5-year, $125 Million, fully-gurranteed contract extension with the Washington Redskins.
(niceme.me)
no Amari Cooper? ripoff
The Browns already traded him to the Patriots for Malcom Butler and a 2019 100th rounder (the 2019 draft will have 100 rounds in celebration of the league’s 100th anniversary).
Oh boy. Does the NCAA have enough players to cover 100 rounds? Lol
If you combine all 3 divisions, the NAIA, Junior Colleges, the CFL, Arena Football, and the International leagues, then yes.
Don’t worry guys. I got this.
Almost forgot. Here is some Taco Bell music from like 2010 to get amped up. My favorite is the Salsa Mix.
You couldn’t pay me to go to Taco Hell.
For some reason, when I saw the first panel, I immediately thought of Eli….
I donated, party of my donation is required to be used to purchase a cheesy gordita crunch, the best thing ever invented by Taco Bell!
If by “best thing ever invented by Taco Bell” you mean “the best thing ever invented in the entire history of mankind” then yes, you are correct.
Well I haven’t had everything ever invented, so I didn’t want to make a claim I couldn’t back up. If you have, though, I’m willing to accept your claim as proof
1. Everyone knows that the food is made from sand and plastic. Pointing it out doesn’t deter people from eating it. They only care that it taste good.
2. Taco Bell tastes better than good, it’s amazing. That’s why no one cares its bad for you and is made from sand.
3. I’ve never gotten diarrhea from Taco Bell. It seems unlikely that anyone has considering all the sand in it. If you ever got diarrhea from Taco Bell see point number 2.
Make Dave drink a Mt. Dew Baja Blast. It’s gross.
I’ll be honest here, Taco Bell does kind of suck (I do love the Quesorito or however you spell it), but if you get diarrhea from eating it you have a weak stomach.
I have a problem with this gofundme: Taco Bell is trash
Gofundme is currently at $57. I had better see pics of one massive plate of taco derp.
You need to try a steak quesadilla.
I always thought Taco Bell was the mexican phone company.
(Rimshot)
$57 so far. Rest in peace, Dave’s toilet.
F**K IT I’M GOING DERP
YA GOTTA UNLEASH THE DYSENTERY