Astros Fans Start To Corncob Themselves
Just my little tribute to the greatest tweet of all time.
"im not owned! im not owned!!", i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob
— wint (@dril) November 11, 2011
Yes I know Greg Robinson had an entire person’s weight in weed and yes I heard about the potential 17 game seasons this has been a rough week and I’ll try to hit them both next week in deserving fashion. I wanted to take a moment to touch on something that I should have thought for Monday’s comic about the Astros and cheating.
Something funny happens every time a team gets caught in a cheating scandal. The Astros, the Patriots, the Saints…I’ve seen it every time. Basically, once the scandal breaks, we enter the denial phase, where fans and the team act like this is preposterous and not true. Once evidence starts to mount and the accusations become confirmed (or at least accepted), the true corncobbing begins.
“Every team cheats! Every team steals signs! Every player flops! Every team has bounties!” The wails of the owned cry in desperation to not face the fact that their team broke the rules. It got so bad during deflategate that some extremely bitter and laughable Patriots fan even when and made an entire site to work through his extreme butthurt. I still laugh at this site. I actually like the concept of tracking each scandal and analyzing who has broken what rules, but the Patriots angst is so incredibly prevalent throughout to the point of embarrassment. It’s just so transparently bitter and pathetic.
The best part about this delicious corncob defense is that it means almost nothing. In fact it actually insults the team that was caught even more. Everyone cheats, but you dumbasses were dumb enough to get caught. Complaining that every team cheats is just the dying cry of the owned fan, too bitter to face the fact that his team got caught doing a stupid. Now your team has to deal with the incredibly overblown consequences (deflategate) or the laughable nothing consequences (Astros). Take it like a fan.
It’s true. Most teams probably cheat to some extent. Most MLB teams probably steal signals. Most NFL teams have probably spied on workouts or had bounties. That doesn’t mean your dipshit team deserves to not get punished. If a team is caught cheating, they deserve the consequences. If the Giants are caught tomorrow doing a cheat, they deserve the consequences. I would also laugh, because it sure hasn’t been helping them.
The Astros deserve to be called cheaters and the championship deserves to be mocked and disregarded (don’t take it away though, leave it up like a stain as a warning). The players involved deserve to be considered cheats and deal with those accusations. They got caught. Who cares what other teams have done. Ya corncob. Quit pretending you didn’t get owned.
Ban all the players for life. Shoeless Joe Jackson batted .375 and had no errors in the series the others threw the series. The Astros did much worse. Heck Pete Rose who only bet as a manager for his team to win never compromised a game. Ban them for life or reinstate Rose and Jackson
If you think only betting on your team to win doesn’t affect materially affect how you manage it, then you don’t understand why betting on your own sport is banned. If you don’t bet on every game, you’ll place a priority on the games you do bet on, and change the way you use your relief pitching and bench. If you’re betting on run spreads (I don’t know if he was betting spreads or just money lines) it will also lead to point shaving.
^This. I actually seen an article once that showed how Pete Rose intentionally used the worst of his bullpen on games he didn’t bet on, then bet on the games where his best players were fresh. I wish I knew where the article was, it could explain it way better than me.
I read this article too. I can’t remember the website, but it sold me on why Pete Rose deserves his punishment. I hope he gets into the Hall of Fame…after he dies. He deserves to be enshrined, but not to celebrate it.
That’s how I feel too. Shoeless Joe should probably be in too by now, because both of their accomplishments certainly merit inclusion, but neither one should get the honor of an induction ceremony or an opportunity to give a speech on the matter.
Buck Weaver got screwed as well as the got was banned because apparently he knew about the fix but didn’t report it until it was too late. Even then the reasons for it was kind of dodgy as there was a speculation that he tried to report it earlier but something kept him from doing so.
With that said, regarding Pete Rose, what jdreyfuss said, plus the guy originally denied betting on baseball until over a decade later when he had a book coming out. Hard to give the guy a benefit of doubt when it comes to that.
Pete Rose didn’t just bet on his own team only to win. That’s his fifth story after each of his previous stories were lies, and the investigations stopped. The investigators have said that they were definitely going to show he bet on all teams in baseball, including his team to win or lose. If you believe he only betted on his own team to win (which also is extremely bad since it tells bookies and others things), why do you think he’s telling the truth THIS time instead of lying like he did the other 4 times?
It’s crazy how few clean players during the steroid were as outraged as the current players about the Astros.
Athletes consider juicing to just be guys trying to get their own edge, basically that no matter how strong you get it doesn’t improve hand-eye coordination, ability to recognize pitches, or reaction time, so even though it was earned by cheating it was still an earned edge.
They consider this to be taking money away from themselves, especially pitchers, by gaining an unearned edge and downplaying the value of pitching. Rob Dibble made an interesting point that the whistleblower was inevitably someone like Mike Fiers, a journeyman pitcher with no ingrained loyalty to the Astros who didn’t gain any real benefit from the cheating other than a ring.
Plus the steroid users still have to guess what pitch is coming.
I’d rather have transparent fan butthurt. Transparency is honesty.
Easy answer is that the issue isn’t necessarily that they were cheating, since yes everyone does it (it’s an open secret that my Indians had a staffer with a pair of binoculars parked in the bleachers of every playoff game in 2016), but that they were doing it in a way that baseball culture considers “ungentlemanly.” They didn’t just have a spotter in center field taking notes or a baserunner looking just a little too hard at the catcher and sending a hand sign to the batter in the moment, they had a full-on surveillance network set up and a signal intelligence system in place.
Wait, are you saying the second baseman who is standing on base trying to steal signs is considered theft, too, even if just to a lesser degree? _HARD_. _PASS_.
If you want to be free to communicate between two players on the field and the other people playing against you are just supposed to not look, then why not stand up and shout “Excuse me! We are going to throw a fastball now! Everyone put their hands around their ears!”
Be better at signal-giving.
It is sign stealing, it’s just not illegal sign stealing. It’ll get you a fastball to the hip if you get caught doing it.
Wait, are you saying the second baseman who is standing on base trying to steal signs is considered theft, too, even if just to a lesser degree? _HARD_. _PASS_.
If you want to be free to communicate between two players on the field and the other people playing against you are just supposed to not look, then why not stand up and shout “Excuse me! We are going to throw a fastball now! Everyone put their hands around their ears!”
Be better at signal-giving.
Dang it, sorry about the doublepost, I don’t know how to remove it. Disregard this one, please 🙁
No. 😛
I’m convinced that most teams do cheat. Except the Browns….because Browns. Also, the Asterisks (I’ve seen many call them that and I think it fits) thing…..they cheated in a way that directly impacted games on a whole new level that some of the recent stuff IMO. There are people who suffered greatly because of their actions, like the one pitcher who hasn’t pitched in the bigs since.
Ray Farmer did, but it’s just as likely that he didn’t bother to look up the rules regarding electronic communication in game as he intentionally broke them.
I like Trashtros better because of the trash can connection, but either one fits
I’m still a bit annoyed at the player immunity thing. It’s been said that it was probably the players who were the most in on it and who might’ve started the whole thing. Also Manfred’s an idiot for devaluing his own league’s championship. Basically the MLB is a circus at the moment and it’s not a good look for anybody involved
Manfred is a lolcow.
If you’ve been an Astros fan as long as I have, becoming the Patriots of baseball isn’t a bad thing at all.
I’m enjoying watching Yankees fans in particular squirm, froth at the mouth, and try to out do each other with ever greater condemnations.
I’ll take the heel turn. Bregman looks great in black.
Go back to the NL
I agree that “everyone cheats” is a silly argument but Yankees fans in particular being mad about it is incredibly funny
The Astros have all the hatred of the Patriots and none of the dynasties. But you sure showed those damn Yankees!
You know it’s not just Yankees fans who has issues with this right?
It is pretty remarkable that the condemnation of the Astros has been pretty universal, and it might even be muted because the main two aggrieved teams are two of the least underdogish teams around (fanbase wise at last).
Can you imagine if the Astros’ cheated to a World Series win a year or two earlier and went though the Royals, Indians or Cubs?
Yeah just imagine, especially 2016 considering the Cubs and the Indians. Two snake bitten teams having a shot for the title only to get denied by cheaters. That’s an OOF to be had.
Speaking of the Royals, I decide to look up on 2015 Astros because I vaguely remember something that happened to them that postseason. Lol and behold, that Game 4 choke job in the ALDS against the Royals. I wonder if this may have planted the seeds for their eventually start of darkness few years later.
Then again there was 1986 which as Doc Brown would say, “Great Scott!”
The Mets may have been the heel that time but it was better that they won as you know why.
Get comic as usual I just want to suggest the AB, Weddle stuff on Instagram it’s getting pretty heated up.
A guy im “friends” with changed his profile picture to the Fred “Mr.” Rodgers middle finger image, but with and astros hat and a WS ring on the middle finger.
I really hope something happens that makes him eat his words and regret that picture.
Ah yes, yourteamcheats. The site where Joe Flacco making a joke over tackling someone from the sideline is more severe cheating than the entirety of deflategate.
I think my favorite thing about it is how hard they rail against the teams that have had some kind of rivalry with the a Patriots. I remember when I first became aware of the site, when Manning and Denver were a constant threat in the AFC, and how much the site went in on them.
i must admit i don’t get the connection to corn.
re:stealing signs. this is easy to solve. an encrypted wrist-tingler connection between the catcher, manager, and pitcher. one time pads issued fresh every inning. the pitcher has a stack of antiquated crime, romance, and crime-and-romance novels next to him on the mound. “PAGE SEVENTEEN FOURTH PARAGRAPH OF THE LUSTY CRIME OF BARRONESS MILFENSTEIN OF THE THIRD REICH” the catcher calls out. the pitcher leafs through a yellowing paperback to the right page and paragraph. he furrows his brow and counts the words that start with H. there are three of them. curveball! an interesting choice, considering the down-and-distance, this late in the third period. he spins and releases the shot put. it’s a dunk! the johannesburg cleveland browns win the world series of cups!
This sums up Astros fans in a nutshell. I do have sympathy for the Astros fans who were disappointed by this, I mean imagine waiting for a lifetime for your team to win a title and this happened.
Not so much to those behaving like a bunch of high school bullies towards fans of other teams who has issues with this.
There has to be a definition that fits “Kevin Kolb”.
Can’t wait to see MLB pitchers dish out some payback at the beginning of each series. Gonna be hilarious to watch some Astro’s guy get all mad and hear the opposing team say …..’too bad…. cheater’.
Will it be as funny when they get suspended because if MLB allows blatant targetted itargettedharm they open themselves up to litigation and we know how they are about that?
Completely unrelated, but I just woke up from a dream in which I was watching an NFL draft reaction show hosted by Dave. The show made no goddamned sense in that to Dave’s side was a stack of shrink wrapped casserole dishes and every one of them said “Why didn’t (team) select (player) for (position)?” but in every case (player) said Jim Kelly, even though I know sleep addled me was confused and actually meant Chip Kelly, so Dave spent the entire show unwrapping a casserole dish and then explaining why Chip Kelly was a bad fit for every team’s immediate needs at different positions.
I’d watch that.
The Bengals only have a cheating score of fifteen?! BULLSHIT! Those are rookie numbers!
You can make fun of yourteamcheats.com, but I have yet to see anyone claim any of the stuff of there is wrong or false.
The two worst scandals in recent history IMO are the Broncos salary cap cheating, which helped them win two Super Bowls, and the Colts’ “Suck For Luck” season where they deliberately tanked to get Luck. I didn’t see any Nobel Prize winners saying the Colts went 2-14 that year due to cold weather.
How many games were they capable of winning with Curtis Painter under center, though? Granted, fielding Painter in the first place is a great argument that they sucked for Luck intentionally.
https://www.google.com/search?q=debunking+yourteamcheats&rlz=1C1GIWA_enUS676US676&oq=debunking+yourteamcheats&aqs=chrome..69i57.6287j1j9&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
Or Google “Debunking yourteamcheats”