Just my little tribute to the greatest tweet of all time.

Yes I know Greg Robinson had an entire person’s weight in weed and yes I heard about the potential 17 game seasons this has been a rough week and I’ll try to hit them both next week in deserving fashion. I wanted to take a moment to touch on something that I should have thought for Monday’s comic about the Astros and cheating.

Something funny happens every time a team gets caught in a cheating scandal. The Astros, the Patriots, the Saints…I’ve seen it every time. Basically, once the scandal breaks, we enter the denial phase, where fans and the team act like this is preposterous and not true. Once evidence starts to mount and the accusations become confirmed (or at least accepted), the true corncobbing begins.

“Every team cheats! Every team steals signs! Every player flops! Every team has bounties!” The wails of the owned cry in desperation to not face the fact that their team broke the rules. It got so bad during deflategate that some extremely bitter and laughable Patriots fan even when and made an entire site to work through his extreme butthurt. I still laugh at this site.  I actually like the concept of tracking each scandal and analyzing who has broken what rules, but the Patriots angst is so incredibly prevalent throughout to the point of embarrassment. It’s just so transparently bitter and pathetic.

The best part about this delicious corncob defense is that it means almost nothing. In fact it actually insults the team that was caught even more. Everyone cheats, but you dumbasses were dumb enough to get caught. Complaining that every team cheats is just the dying cry of the owned fan, too bitter to face the fact that his team got caught doing a stupid. Now your team has to deal with the incredibly overblown consequences (deflategate) or the laughable nothing consequences (Astros). Take it like a fan.

It’s true. Most teams probably cheat to some extent. Most MLB teams probably steal signals. Most NFL teams have probably spied on workouts or had bounties. That doesn’t mean your dipshit team deserves to not get punished. If a team is caught cheating, they deserve the consequences. If the Giants are caught tomorrow doing a cheat, they deserve the consequences. I would also laugh, because it sure hasn’t been helping them.

The Astros deserve to be called cheaters and the championship deserves to be mocked and disregarded (don’t take it away though, leave it up like a stain as a warning). The players involved deserve to be considered cheats and deal with those accusations. They got caught. Who cares what other teams have done. Ya corncob. Quit pretending you didn’t get owned.