The Draw Play

Failure at football defines the Snyder era. They’ve been outshone in this department by the likes of more snakebitten franchises like the Browns or Lions, but it cannot be ignored. You don’t win when your team is run horribly, and run horribly is a fixture of Dan Snyder. He was a meddlesome, ignorant football dumbass who was convinced he could spend his way to victory.

When thinking of the Snyder Era exclusively in football terms, a few specific mistakes come to mind as generation-defining. The first one for me is Albert Haynesworth. Snyder was well known for throwing cash at expensive free agents to make a splash instead of properly constructing a team, and Haynesworth was the nadir of the entire trend. Haynesworth had one good season prior to getting the bag, had a troubled on-field history, and completely and utterly underperformed. Everything about it was summed up in this one play with Haynesworth simply giving up and lying on the ground as Vick throws a touchdown. Outstanding.

Another is the Swinging gate. A play in which the head coach Jim Zorn was in open revolt against Snyder after Snyder took away his playcalling duties. The team was getting vaporized by the Giants on Monday Night Football and ran a wacky formation that temporarily caused the Giants to call timeout. Then Zorn called it again, with the Giants ready for it, almost looking directly at the owner’s box as the Giants easily smothered one of the worst play calls in history.

A third is the destruction of RG3’s knee. RG3 and Snyder are intertwined in history. Snyder traded a king’s ransom for the rights to draft the Baylor phenom, and for most of one season it actually looked like the right move. But The head coach (Mike Shanahan) didn’t seem to get along with RG3 and apparently didn’t want him (They picked Kirk Cousins later in the same draft, after all). RG3 was thrown constantly into the fray as a runner and it tore him apart at the seams. Then, in a much-anticipated playoff game, RG3’s already injured knee took another deathblow on the garbage FedEx field and the future was over.

There are countless more. The poor handling of Kirk Cousin’s franchise tags. On Shanahan’s 2013 coaching staff was roughly 3 different future NFL super bowl head coaches in Kyle Shanahan, Sean McVay, and Matt LeFleur. They traded for washed up Donovan McNabb. Vinny Cerrato, the world’s worst yes man. The sad finale to the Joe Gibbs story, ending with him retiring before his contract was up. Bruce Allen. They broke the Lions 19 game losing streak. They won the division at 7-9. Alex Smith. Mistreating Trent Williams after a health scare. Trading for Carson fucking Wentz. I’m sure there is more I’m not remembering.

24 years. 27 different starting quarterbacks. 10 head coaches. 6 total playoff appearances, 2 wins, both in the wildcard round. 164 wins, 220 losses, and 2 ties. The 27th-best winning % over that time frame. 3 different names. Countless controversies. Plummeting attendance. The desecration of a beloved brand. Snyder bought the team for 800 million and walks away with 6 billion. None of his failures even mattered in the end.

Snyder, just on football failure alone, deserves a place in the worst NFL owners pantheon. But it’s his more personal business crimes that set him apart. That will have to wait for later this week.