Last season I went into detail about my journey into becoming a secondary Vikings fan. I described the circumstances of picking the Vikings being related to tangible rewards in my math class at the time. The winner got free homework/test passes, a worthy prize. What I neglected to go into was that my math teacher also had a very similar project for the spring semester based around March Madness. The project was a bit different in that we got paired up with a classmate for the work, but both of us got to choose a team. If either team won, both of us reaped the reward.

My friend drew #1 out of the hat. He picked Duke. They won. I asked him why he picked Duke, and he said “I dunno, I hear they win every year”. We both got the grand prize even though my pick fell in the sweet 16 (Cincinnati). So instead of a story about how Duke screwed me over my first exposure to college basketball and Duke was actually positive. It was only in the immediately following years that I realized we won by picking The Patriots of college ball and that Duke was a detestable rich boy college that deserves nothing but contempt. It is our patriotic duty to hate Duke. Duke is the Lakers. Duke is the Yankees. Duke is the Patriots. Duke is Bama. Duke is the…I dunno, Penguins? Who is the hockey team the rest of the league hates with a passion? I hope Duke is never relevant again.

I don’t really care about Coach K or college basketball, I just wanted to revel in watching Duke lose and his ass get sent out to pasture. My college didn’t have a team worthy of the tournament, so I guess…go Terps? My uncle went there and that’s the closest connection I got to anything.