So Cam Newton has retired the Dab. It’s not terribly surprising. The dance reached peak popularity this past season and I’d argue already wore out it’s welcome 2/3rds into the season.  Cam has now gone through 2 celebrations, so I’m eager to see what he comes up with next and how mad it makes old Tennessee Moms who think Cam Newton doing a little dance is a horrible influence on the children. I really do hope he just embraces the heel turn and does something rude.

Me and Sam get into this on our newest podcast (GO LISTEN TO IT YA BUMS).I liked the Dab. It was simple and easy to do, which makes it easy to mock, which to me is the sign of a good celebration. There was a little bit of dancing before the dab motion, but it was the dab itself (Which to me still looks like you are sneezing into your elbow crease) that people liked to do. The best TD “dances” are ones that can be easily mimicked by the fans and playfully mocked by opposing fans/players. Contrast the Dab to whatever the hell Odell Beckham does when he scores.

Beckham does a big fancy dance that’s half amazingly fluid and half complete nonsense. But it’s the kind of dance only he can really do. I can’t do his dance. I bet you can’t either. It’s a bad dance, because when he scores I can’t do it with him, like I could Salsa with Victor Cruz TDs. It’s also too complex to be iconic. Better your #brand, OBJ.

I can do the Dez Bryant X. I loved Kaep’s bicep kiss and Cam’s SUPERMAN thing. That Michael Bennett sexy dance? Perfect. Von Miller’s triple pump? Great stuff. The Discount Double Check? Great. These are all very simple celebrations. Even JJ Watt’s salute is good, if a little too JJ Watt for my tastes.