The Draw Play

Not only was the season incredibly chaotic, but we are having an absurdly chaotic coaching carousel to go along with it. I normally wait to make comics about the coaching news until things are settled but it has gotten so wild and nothing has resolved yet. The latest domino to fall: Mike Tomlin, who is “stepping down”. This means Zac Taylor is the only AFCN coach who still has a job. Arguably the guy who deserves to get fired the most! It must be nice to have a boss so cheap you have job security this tight.

As of writing, we have NINE openings. I’d rank them on appeal like this:
#1 Ravens, QB, team mostly in place, good ownership
#2 Steelers, good team, patient owners, just needs a QB
#3 Falcons, honestly decent owner, okay roster, new GM to work with, maybe a QB
#4 Dolphins, New GM to work with, but QB issues need a year or more to fix
#5 Giants, Some good pieces in place but working for a hot seat GM in a tough market
#6 Raiders, First overall pick, but GM probably sucks and the team is deeply flawed
#7 Titans, no pressure market and young QB but roster is in rough shape
#8 Browns, good defense, but offense is stuck in hell, bad ownership, cursed, etc
#9 Cardinals, QB conundrum, bad owners, cursed but less obvious about it

The Ravens and Steelers are head and shoulders above the others. It is rare to have such stable and reliable openings. For the first time in almost two decades, we are going to watch Ravens/Steelers games without Harbaugh or Tomlin in them. That’s weird. It unsettles me. The AFCNorth is a place of stability. The Ravens are Harbaugh. The Steelers are Tomlin, and never with a losing record. The Bengals are up and down, but rarely change their coaching. The Browns are consistently a clown show. This is a predictable lot. But what now?

We have a lot of names up for coaching spots too, but not as much the usual hot coordinators. Tomlin, who “resigned” and was not fired, still has his rights owned by the Steelers. Many predict he is going to take a year off and do broadcasting stuff. Maybe he really is just following the Bill Cowher career path and he will just never come back. Harbaugh has his pick of the litter and can take his time making his decision. He’s been linked to the Giants, Dolphins, Falcons, and Titans so far. Stefanski is probably the 3rd big option. A guy who helped bring the Browns back to relevance before things blew up. Kevin has some pedigree but just as many questions.

Outside that Mike McCarthy is still a free agent if we are talking established coaches looking for a new home. Giants fans seem to hate the idea of McCarthy, I appear to be alone in not being so opposed. He had success in Green Bay and Dallas, especially on offense. But he’s definitely far from ideal. The Green Bay relationship strained but if you remember, he was not actually fired by Dallas. He genuinely seemed to take Dak into a new place, and if he could develop Dart, that’s what matters to me. Also hiring a good D-coordinator. Also only take him if Harbaugh passes us up and also probably several other options pass us up.

Out of the coordinator hot hands we have Klint Kubiak and Chris Shula, who are both still in the playoffs so they wont go anywhere yet. Robert Saleh is also on the shortlist again, and honestly I think he deserves to be. Kliff Kingsbury is a free agent who slightly redeemed himself through Jayden Daniels but I don’t think he’s getting a HC job. Brian Flores of course, who just screams Steelers head coach. Mike McDaniel has a chance to move to another HC spot but I think he’s likely just going to go back to coordinator. Brian Daboll got an interview in Tennessee, and they could probably do worse, but he should be an OC too. Joe Brady from the Bills has gotten looks for years but he isn’t getting much hype anymore. Lou Anarumo is getting interviewed by the Giants because he has ties there but doesn’t seem to garner interest elseware. Todd Monken from the Ravens has also gotten attention.

There are also odd options, like Antonio Pierce, who is probably just being used as a Rooney Rule fulfillment. Matt Nagy has gotten calls this year, which is baffling. Nagy hasn’t even redeemed himself since he got hired as Chiefs OC! Since Bienemy left, the Chiefs offense has been slow, plodding, and much less effective. Why is Matt Nagy getting looks. Is he also like 1/25 Cherokee or something so he can also be a Rooney Rule fulfillment?

This is far from an exhaustive list of names and a number of other lesser-known options could get hired. I’m guessing the Cardinals and Browns end up with guys that makes us say “who?” or “him?”

The Eagles and Chargers are also officially on the market for a new OC. Greg Roman and Kevin Patullo were let go Tuesday morning. Greg Roman is honestly my pick to be John Harbaugh’s new coordinator wherever Harbaugh ends up, because the Harbaughs pass Roman back and forth like a joint with mediocre weed that neither wants to take the last puff on. Kevin Patullo will likely make a great shift manager at Arby’s. He has the meats. Both teams are very attractive options for OCs and I predict McDaniel ends up in one of them. Jonathan Gannon is also likely to get picked up as a DC under one of these new regimes, same with Raheem Morris. I’d wager we’ve seen the end of Pete Carroll.

Meanwhile, looks like Matt LaFleur is still employed as of writing. Packers fans in shambles.

No dominoes have fallen yet. This is incredibly exciting. Next year is going to look very weird.