Tua’s Brain Takes A Day Off
I was surprised to discover this past week that Tuanon remains active. Just like the actual conspiracy movement the Tua fan collective is named for that sort of just faded from public consciousness after a point, I sort of expected Tuanon to have done the same over the past couple of seasons.
I went searching on twitter (my first mistake, yes) to try and find a clip of the latest Tua brain fart against the Bills and was immediately bombarded with posts complaining about how Herbert got bailed out or whatever by Tuanon posters who are still, still, somehow on that train. He’s just a football player at what point do you move the fuck on? Why is Herbert still this object of such obsession? He’s just his own guy, doing his own thing, over on the opposite coast.
Granted, I do believe the Tuanon movement has slowed and shrunk. It had to. When I made the original Tuanon comic, Tua was hot shit and Herbert had stalled. Two years later, Herbert is making strides and continuing his good play while Tua has…broken.
The Dolphins offense went from explosive titan captained by Lord Tagovailoa into a mess that crumbled the instant Tua was out, into a rudderless wreck that barely functions at times even with Tua still healthy and in. I know it’s not all Tua’s fault, but the fall has been drastic.
He’s developed a nickname that a lot of Dolphins fans seethe at: Tua Turndaballova. I want to say it’s a stupid nickname but he’s been earning it. In each game this year, from the thumping by the Colts, the mess against the Patriots, and the valiant failed effort against the Bills, Tua has thrown a terrible ball directly to a defender.
Look at the Colts pass. It’s like he’s completely blind to the defender sitting right in the passing lane. Maybe he thought he had more zip on this arm? While he’s out of the pocket, there’s no pressure, he had time to survey the field. It was the most embarrassing throw on a day full of them.
The Patriots pass isn’t much better. Tua is actually under pressure this time, so you can attribute this one at least partially to panic, but I have no idea what the hell he is trying to accomplish with this pass. The guy you are throwing to isn’t close to open, and that’s ignoring the defender DIRECTLY IN YOUR LINE OF SIGHT. That’s a ball you either run with or throw away. Terrible decision. A veteran QB this deep into his career should not be making this kind of panic toss.
The Bills pass was the cherry on top. A play I literally called in my discord chat about 2 quarters before it happened. It was another terrible decision. It’s a quick read and a quick throw, so it’s isn’t caused by pressure. However, Tua stares down his target the entire time and throws a ball the defender easily steps in front of. It effectively ended the game. 0-3 Dolphins.
I didn’t want to make the usual joke that his brain has holes and is full of CTE because that seemed like the cheap way to do it but it is really hard to not wonder sometimes. Intelligence was supposed to be one of Tua’s strengths. He’s getting worse. The Dolphins are financially tied to him for the time being so they have to try to make it work, but oof. Something has to change, or he’s going to end up another what-if. At least he got his bag already.
Same goes for Tomlin
Still the best Dolphins QB since Marino. I feel sad now.
That’s still (a healthy) Chad Pennington.
Tua said this the other day, “Well, anybody can play quarterback in this league then. I want to see anybody on the streets come and play quarterback.”
Sounds pretty normal until you realize this is a response to criticism from Cam Newton. Safe to say the smart neuron put in his two weeks.
Sports conspiracies are always the best.
Amongst orioles fans there’s a significant (I’d say majority of online fans) percentage who believe Adley Rutschman was secretly injured last year, and that is the reason for his poor play for 1.5 years. Never mind that he A) didn’t go on the IL, B) said he was not injured, C) the team said he was not injured, D) all beat reporting says he was not injured.
These fans are rabid and even years later will attack anyone who criticizes Adley for falling off a cliff performance-wise in his mid 20s with HE GOT INJURED INJURIES HAPPEN!
He was never injured. He just is a bad baseball player.
To his credit, in the Bills game he didn’t have time to move to his second read. Deone Walker was going to be there a second later.
But yeah Bernard saw it coming all day. It was a film study INT, and that should be setting off alarm bells
I think we’ve been in the what if territory for a little while now sadly. I wonder how much of it is on him and how much is on the system McDaniels has him in. I would bet there’s blame on both parts. Kind of reminds me a bit of the RG3 situation in that poor health management ruined what could have been a good run. And yes, I consider constantly coming back from concussions earlier than he should have as poor health mangament.
I remember when RG3 was strapping truck tires to his knees while running through gravel, and everyone and their mother was like, “PLEASE STOP YOU ARE HURTING YOURSELF,” and he was like, “Nahhhhh, bro, I’ma play until I’m 40!” and then his body just died.
HAHAHAHA, the url is just THE BEST. Also, my memory failed, it was his ankles, not his knees. Point still stands, lol.
https://sports.cbsimg.net/images/blogs/RG3-training-wrong-02-19-15.jpg
Apologies, as I am not seeing it. What is the discord link?
I still think Tua should have retired after that brutal concussion. McDaniels deserves some blame too but he hasn’t quite looked the same since, just flashes.
Ironic that we’re in the Rivalries gear on Monday . It’s going to feel AND look like a requiem for McDaniel & Tua.
Not really related to Tua or his brain, but since there’s website work going on and you were asking for feedback on that earlier this week, I thought I’d put in my two cents:
The “Spongebob font”, as Sixburgh has described it: Bad. Actually strains my eyes to read. I’m glad the actual comment text and blog posts are no longer in this font, but it’s still in various places on the site (top bar, comic navigation bar, bottom bar, around the “comment here” box). I think the font should be removed from all these places as well.
Having “Latest Comics” go back 10 comics instead of just 5 comics: Pretty good. A good QoL thing for people that might not check the site every single day but still want to keep up, and 10’s not an overwhelming number. Keep it like this.
The round buttons in the upper right corner with the links to socials: Nice. Definitely good to have the BlueSky and Patreon links up there. Having the social media site logos in red is an odd choice, though, and the red Instagram logo is blending in with the hot pink background. White might provide better contrast.
Weird but minor bug: Sometimes on a comic, the “Comments” and “Random” button will not load beneath the comic. Seems to happen the most on the most recent comic, but occasionally on other comics as well. I think this started happening not long after the “Random” button became bugged (No shade at all for it still being bugged, btw. I know debugging things can be a headache and a half, especially on a live website.)
Anyway, good luck with the website. Nothing’s horribly broken so it’s no rush to fix things.