If you will indulge me in my one comic per year that has nothing to do with football.

Got blindsided yesterday by the news that Damian Lillard is coming back to the Portland Trail Blazers! DAME TIME IS BACK BABY! In…2027. After he rehabs his torn Achilles. When he’s 37. Look I kinda don’t care, I’m just happy to see my boy again. I would not give the slightest shit about basketball if it was not for Dame. I was new to Portland, and the Blazers had just drafted him. He was setting the league on fire. The Blazers were on every TV at every bar in the city. I started watching the games out of the corner of my eye. I started getting it. I started to understand how the sport worked. It all led up to the Houston Buzzer Beater. After that shot went in, I officially counted myself a basketball fan. I’m nothing more than a casual fan. Most people who follow basketball will know more hoops than me. But I wouldn’t have watched any basketball at all if it wasn’t for Dame. We all have guys that get us into the sports we love. Dame is my guy.

That said I’m shocked he came back. The Blazers feel like a mess to me. Like I said, I’m not Mr Hoops Knower, but the region seems to be huffing massive hopium. I’ve been told by a lot of people that the Blazers are good now! …They are? They were decent for about a month late last season and that means they are good now? They couldn’t even threaten the play-in. Everytime I’ve ragged on the Orioles and baseball for the past few years someone would always show up in the comments to tell me I’ve lost my fan card or some shit, the Orioles are good now. They got swept in the playoffs two years in a row and now they suck again. I need more actual evidence. The Orioles put up more proof of concept than the Blazers have. Don’t get me wrong, the potential for a good team is there, but that’s what we are going on. Potential. I hope Scoot and Shaedon and Yang and Deni and Clingan all turn it up, but saying we are good before they do? I hope Jrue actually decides he likes it here. But will he? Hopeium.

Maybe I’m just a pessimist from years of seeing Daniel Jones truthers tell me he’s going to do it next year, just you wait. Joe Judge had that press conference of steel, this team is turning it around! Gettleman knows what he’s doing where Jerry Reese didn’t! I need evidence. I want results. I do not salivate over potential. Do me a favor and at least make the damn playoffs, Blazers.

The entire process of the Lillard trade is hilarious in retrospect. I’m not sure Dame ever wanted to leave, I think he likes it here and has his roots set up here, but the Blazers were in turmoil and he got stuck in a bad spot. In a very complicated 3-way trade, the Blazers flipped Lillard to the Bucks for Jrue Holiday, as well as sent Nurkic to Phoenix, they got Ayton from Phoenix, they sent Jrue to Boston, got a bunch of picks and younger dudes, flipped Simons to Boston to get an angry Jrue back, bought out Ayton so he could skedaddle to LA, and then signed Lillard after the Bucks basically restructure his contract to set him free. So the Bucks basically lost Jrue for two years of Lillard being injured and not quite working. Jrue got a championship out of it before he got traded back all spicy. Portland flipped Lillard and Jrue for the future, which ended up being Lillard and Jrue and a bunch of cool youngsters. Funny shit. I have my questions about this front office but hey, this one is very funny. Also Miami is furious about all of it.

Welcome home Dame. I used to get sad when I’d see the big mural down on Hawthorne. So happy to see you back, no matter how it goes.