The Draw Play

THE WEEK IN CHAOS
–THE CHIEFS ARE DEAD. At least for 2025. When the Patriots finally fell I was excited for new blood, and the Chiefs were fun. But they quickly became the very thing they usurped. Seeing the same team reach the same heights consistently reaches a point where they stop being fun and they start being dull. Dominant teams make for good villains and good seasonal drama. But they need more competition. They need to falter a bit more. We needed a couple more seasons of them not reaching the AFCCG. It’s no fun when a team feels inevitable. Whelp, for the moment, we are free. Thanks to a tough schedule and the devil no longer being on their side, the Chiefs faltered. They even lost Mahomes in the process. With the usual timeframe for ACL repairs, it’ll be surprising to see him start week 1 in 2026. Even if Mahomes beats the odds he will still likely be limited as a scrambler for some time. The Chiefs are still a well-run organization that is one good offseason away from being right back on top. At least for now we can breathe.

Nobody wants to win the NFC South. The Bucs, who had tenuous control, got shanked at home by Kirk Cousins and the miracles. Todd Bowles throws his own players under the bus. Carolina takes over. They control their own destiny. Whelp, the Panthers go to the Super Dome and get foughed by the Shough. I guess the Bucs are back on top! Every time one of these teams demand we take them seriously they trip over their own feet.

Jacksonville sits atop the AFCS now and has quietly turned into a force while nobody is looking. Trevor is dealing now. Liam Coen might be a good hire.

The dream of the NFCE winner streak is almost (not quite) dead. With the Vikings upsetting the Cowboys the only way to keep the streak alive is for Philly to lose out and Dallas to win out. Unlikely, and sad. The Eagles had a “get right” game against the worst team in the sport. It’s amazing what playing the Raiders does to morale.

It appears Joe Burrow is going through some things and the Bengals are toast. Long live the Bengals. The Bears beat up Shedeur, and his stans have been quiet for the past two weeks as he’s more or less shown himself to be who we thought he was. A kid with major game flaws, namely holding onto the ball too long and being indecisive. Bad offensive lines only excuse so much. You gotta throw the ball away, you gotta get it out quick. Shedeur wants to hero ball. Good news for Browns fans though: Myles is only one sack away from the record.

Miami still cant play in cold weather. The Patriots reign of dominance took a good smack to the face by the Bills. Don’t crown these Pats yet.

GIANTS CORNER
–Another game lost because of bad defense and bad special teams. It was rare to see the Giants on the good side of a potential miracle comeback, but they fell short. Abdul Carter finally had a breakout game and good for him. Carter has been a consistent pressuring force this year and has been the reason Burns has had so many sacks, but because he wasn’t getting any sacks himself a lot of the fanbase was disappointed with him. I’m not worried about Carter yet. Hopefully the next regime knows how to use him. I do not see the current regime surviving at all now, with only the Raiders remaining as the only probable win. This team needs fresh management. I don’t even hate Kafka, but you can’t run these guys back.

CHAOS OF THE WEEK
– I didn’t have a clear winner for chaos of the week this time, so I’m taking the easy way out and picking the thing that should not have happened. A 44 year old grandpa Rivers coming back and starting a football game for the QB starved Indianapolis Colts. Rivers did okay against a stout Seattle D in Seattle. He even kept the Colts ahead with a vintage touchdown pass. Then Seattle took the lead late and Rivers had a chance for a legacy drive. Unfortunately, he had a vintage Rivers legacy drive. For you youngins, a vintage Rivers legacy drive is what we call Chargering. Rivers leads his team down the field to a winning score with too much time left, then then defense gives up the actual winning score, then Rivers throws a desperate game-sealing INT trying to do it again. That’s the story of Rivers entire career. It was like the man never left us.

CHAOTIC MOMENTS OF THE WEEK
–I wish it had led somewhere so I could have been happy, but the Giants almost gave me hope with this nonsense right at the end of the game.
-Brandon Aubrey, who had a bad night kicking, also did this!
-Kyle Van Noy wins the real “old man” play of the week when he picks off a pass and instantly hands it off so he doesn’t have to run anymore.
–The coolest play the Titans will run all year
-I have watched this Caleb Williams pass about 50 times and I still have no idea how this ended up a touchdown

THE VIBE CHECK
– The Bears are still good, but thse vibes climbed back up because with Micah Parsons dead the Bears are now in much better position. The Packers, despite still being playoff contenders, are not feeling good right now. Lots of dismay from Green Bay fans. I forgot to mention they lost Christian Watson too.
-Not that they are in any real danger, but it was nice to see Boston get a little kick in the shins before these folks got too big for their own britches
-I moved the Titans up a slot because even in a loss, they played better football than they have been. Two weeks in a row looking like a real football team. Good for them.

CACKLES OF THE WEEK
–JJ McCarthy, while still being a frustrating watch overall, had a good game. It did not start well.

BIG OOF OF THE WEEK
-Watching the replay of Micah Parsons cut untouched and come up lame and you just instantly knew his ACL was toast

JESUS CHRIST THE NFL HAS AN OFFICIATING PROBLEM of the week
-Been tempted to add this category for a while, so I’m testing it out. This week? The Rams not-touchdown touchdown. This was called a touchdown. I get calling it one on the field. Happens fast, call it a TD so it gets automatically reviewed, whatever. But how do you look at that ON REVIEW and still call that a touchdown. If you want to argue he didn’t have possession yet, okay. He dropped it then. And he was still short! Even the announcers were flummoxed. There is no sensible argument to call this play a TD.

CHAOS WATCH
–While no playoff positions are locked up and even fewer clinched, it still feels like things are more or less set, we just don’t know the seeding. The big questions remaining are can the Colts prevent getting squeezed out, and who wins the NFCS (Bucs or Panthers, with the loser missing out entirely). The Lions are 1.5 games behind the Packers and with a few good bounces could potentially take their spot. Dallas is a longshot to the point where we could write them off. The AFC is messier. The Colts are 1 game behind Houston and the Ravens are fighting with the Steelers for that AFCN spot.

FRAUD WATCH
–I’m sold on the Broncos and Bears. Whatever flaws they might have, they are a good team anyway. Same with San Francisco. The pitiful schedule still worries me slighty about New England and that is going to stay that way until the playoffs give them real competition. This was their last real test for the year, and they choked it away.
-I wanted to give Dallas credit as a sleeper but losing to the Vikings really halts any enthusiasm that defense has improved enough to matter.

SNUFF FILM OF THE WEEK
-Despite being a bigger blowout, beating the Raiders doesn’t feel like much of an accomplishment. So I am giving this to our other shutout, the Ravens putting the Bengals in the ground. This was a bad Ravens team with a defense that nobody respects, in Cincinnati, and the Bungles got waxed.

DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK
–Dallas was pretty much in “must win” mode already if not mathematically. The Vikings were eliminated going into the game. Dallas was supposed to have “fixed” the pass rush and the defense was better now. They let McCarthy have the best game of his beleaguered career and griddy into the endzone untouched.

MOST UNWATCHABLE TEAM OF THE WEEK
–Raiders, man, we’d be better off without you at this point

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BETS FOR NEXT WEEK – POKEMON WEEK. GENERATION 2 (Gold and Silver). I will do a Pokemon week every year but Im going to keep it to generations to keep the selection of pokemon more manageable.

RAMS @ SEAHAWKS
The Seahawks have been clustering right below the Rams all season. If they want to be taken more seriously than just “one of the other” good NFCW teams, they have to topple the presumed champ at least once at home. Sam Darnold, beat those demons. I predict Rams because Sam Darnold hasn’t proven he can ghostbust yet.
If the Seahawks win, I will draw Jaxon Smith-NChikorita

EAGLES @ COMMIES
The Commies are shutting Daniels down for the year so Mariota gets to play for his next contract. The Commies aren’t worthless under him, but I think the Eagles finally take hold of the division for good.
If the Commies win, I will draw Marcus Marill-ota

PACKERS @ BEARS
After that Packers morale pancake in Denver the Bears have their chance to take hold in frigid Chicago. This is it, Bears. Prove me right.
If the Packers win, I will draw coach Matt LeFlaaffy

BILLS @ BROWNS
Myles Garrett will get his record-breaking sack as the Browns lose 31-10
If the Browns win, I will draw Scizor Sanders

CHARGERS @ COWBOYS
Cowboys have to win. They need to win. They cannot do anything but win. The Chargers are under much less stress now that KC is out. I think Dallas does it, only to get knocked out anyway by the Eagles winning.
If the Chargers win, I will draw Ladd Mc-Quagsire

CHIEFS @ TITANS
Well. The Titans get to play Gardner Minshew. That might make this more fun. Still Chiefs.
If the Titans win, I will draw Togepi Pollard

BENGALS @ DOLPHINS
Dolphins beat up a heartbroken young man. Mike McDaniel keeps growing his resume for sticking around. Dolphins at home.
If the Bengals win, I will draw Joe Bellossom

JETS @ SAINTS
The Saints have found a little life as the season drags on. The Jets just fired DC Steve Wilks. I think Aaron Glenn has realized the depth of hell he has entered.
If the Jets win, I will draw Tyrogue Taylor

VIKINGS @ GIANTS
If the Vikings QB was still total butt this might be a fun matchup, but if JJ can actually hit his guys half the time now it’s never been more Joever.
If the Giants win, I will draw Dexter Larvitar

BUCS @ PANTHERS
This is it. This game decides which of these bums is in the drivers seat. They also play each other week 18, so chances are this game ends up not mattering at all anyway. I’ll take Carolina at home.
If the Bucs win, I will draw Elekid Egbuka

JAGS @ BRONCOS
This is a massive test for the Jaguars offense. The Jags have put together a good year and Trevor just had a career game. If he can go toe to toe with Denver, the Jags are legit threats.
If the Jags win, I will draw Trevor Lugia

FALCONS @ CARDINALS
This time of year always has games there are no reasons to watch whatsoever. I guess Cardinals?
If the Falcons win, I will draw Bijan Raikou

STEELERS @ LIONS
Lions need this. Lions gotta have it. Lions don’t like to lose two in a row. Lions.
If the Steelers win, I will draw DK Met-Cleffa

RAIDERS @ TEXANS
Hey kids wanna see a dead body
If the Raiders win, I will draw Unowns spelling “holy shit”

PATRIOTS @ RAVENS
The Ravens are gonna get steamrolled. Believe it or not, the Ravens have very favorable betting odds. Vegas smells a fraud Patriots team too. I don’t think the Ravens are good enough to smoke them out though.
If the Ravens win, I will draw Derrick Entei

49ERS @ COLTS
Look at this. A massive playoff matchup for two teams struggling for seeding. The Colts are just on the outside, the 49ers fighting for good seeding in a hellish division. I love the saga of new Rivers, but this was a mistake. The Colts are toast.
If the Colts win, I will draw Philip Rivers as Slowking

A TIE
If we get a tie, both QBs as Wobbufetts